[Carlee1boy]

Okay, I am seriously hoping for some suggestions/reassurance here. Our son, Max, is 15 months old. About a month ago he started throwing occasional tantrums. Well I guess practice makes perfect, because he is now throwing several a WEEK. They are always for my benefit, as daddy has yet to see one.

They usually stem from me telling him "NO." He absolutely loses it. Does he cry and yell? Nope. He SCREAMS at the top of his lungs for a full 20 minutes or so. If I go to pick him up he pulls away and arches his back so he's impossible to get. That or he goes completely limp. There are very few tears, as he is screaming rather than crying.

What in the heck do I do??? Our older son has never thrown a tantrum so I am in shock with these. Is this normal? I am getting anxious that he is showing early signs for some sort of emotional/behavioral disorder. Other than the tantrums, he is a happy child with a ready smile. He has bonded to me completely is actually in the midst of some seperation anxiety lately. He is fine with other people until he sees me, then he bursts into tears and won't let anyone but me hold him.

So those of you who have little darlings who sometimes go balistic and have their precious heads turn all the way around, PLEASE help me out here!

Carolyn

[KellyMigoya]

Sorry but my son Mateo who is five holds the title for King of Tantrums. Unfortunately he is five and still has them. They have gotten much better but do exist. The GOOD NEWS is he only has them at home and never at school or sports.
At home he gets marched up to his room and can just stay there until he can come out and be nice.
Wish I had more to offer you.
Good luck!

[Annee]

My 18 m.o. son has only had one full blown tantrum so far...and it was in public. I know about the back arching and going limp, though.

We're trying to limit the number of things that we say "no" to and are working on finding positive choices to offer instead. It's not always easy to come up with something. But, say he's wanting to go outside and it's pouring down rain. We say "do you want to play downstairs or upstairs" and making the decision seems to distract him from the prohibited activity without the tears. Of course, if he's heading for something dangerous we do say "STOP" or "DANGER" very loudly but we're reserving that for the big stuff. For the annoying things, we try really hard to just re-direct him to another activity.

I bet if you post your question to the toddler forum you'll get some creative and helpful ideas.

[kimy]

The best way to deal with a tantrum is to IGNORE,IGNORE, and IGNORE some more.

Walk away and don't make any eye contact with him.
Trust me, this will work but it might take a while. It might not cure the whole tantrum (which is normal at his age) but it should cut down on the length of it.
My son did these really big one's too .
Kim

[Carlee1boy]

I will definitely try to ignore his tantrums. I can tell that my first reactions (which were complete shock and frustration) only fueled his anger.

Oh how my patience is being tried!

Carolyn

[leaabc123]

I agree ignore it.
As long as he is safe and not head banging, then just do whatever you are doing and he will learn there is no reward involved and it will stop.

If you are in public, give him a warning. tell him you will count to three and if he hasn't stopped, you will take him to the car. That may mean leaving the grocery cart in the store or leaving a fun activity, etc but he will get the point.

[sharonl299]

My 15-month-old daughter has started these as well, with the arching back included. From what I have read this is very normal, and a few weeks ago when we were getting her ears looked at I told the doctor about it and he also said that it was very normal for her age and to just ignore it as it was just the first stages of her trying to control her environment and me by watching my reaction. He said the best thing to do was to walk away and she would stop and it does work - when she loses her audience it magically stops.

[soon2bemom]

When he starts a tantrum put him in a safe place where he cant do anything naughty (like a playpen) and ignore him. Really ignore him. Don't say a word. No eye contact. Read a book or do some housework but don't say a thing to him until the howling, screaming, and arching has stopped. Not even the word no. (Actually especially not the word No)

Don't ever talk to a child having a tantrum or they will do it more.

Children hate being ignored. After about the 8th time you thoroughly ignore it they get smart.

[AddisonsMommy]

Addison turned into a temper princess right on target at about 18 months old. I remember it VERy vividly as it was Christmas morning! LOL!

Anyway, the idea of ignoring the tantrum DOES work, for us it does. Can't tell you how many times she has started up, and I just look at the other adult or person near me, roll my eyes, and tell them it will pass shortly. LOL!

There is good news, too....the tantrums she does have, last a VERY short time. Like, 10 seconds. Maybe 30 seconds if she is REALLY mad. Then she turns it all off like a quick switch and moves on to something else. It's the most interesting thing, really! Fun being the parent of a smart, independent toddler!

Jen
Mommy to the Amazing, still, Addison Grace! 21 months

[djn05]

Hi,

Yes, I think it is the age!! Nathaniel has had a couple of those..he throws himself face down on the floor and starts crying or screaming...the first time I picked him up and decided to hold him he arched his back got really stiff and I almost dropped him..so the next couple of times he did it..I just ignored him.. one time I just stepped over him on the floor and continued doing what I had been doing and he was really shocked that I did not pay attention to him and he has not had a tantrum since!!

Ignore!!

Good Luck,

JOanne

[Devora]

I don't have any suggestions, but you might want to post this on the Toddlers & Preschoolers board (under Parenting Support). I've found some great ideas there!

Stephanie