[bbeard72]

I'd love to know what your experience was like the first few days/week home when you brought back your child. Was it hard on the child being away from the foster mother?

Thanks
Bren

[csw]

Hi
It was actually more like 6 months in our case...it took her that long to finally be able to 'relax' and also to not cry if I even turned my back to her...still after 2 years of being home I still can't go to the b-room myself!
Carry the baby as much as possible, practice attachment parenting techniques etc..it really helped us..we co-bathed (skin to skin contact) plus she was scared to death of the bathtub..coslept..still do..gave her therapeutic infant massages, "wore" her in a sling for at least 6 hours a day..this was the only place she would nap for along time..

[mildredjohn]

Exhausted but great! not much sleep, a lot of stuff to organize but at the same time we dedicated most of our time to our baby! the rest could wait!


Freeze food! organize as much as you can before leaving to then just concentrate on the baby.

A lot of new joys, smiles, and doing nothing just watching your baby.

many blessings,

[jcmc]

Our daughter was 6 months old and she had no problems at all. She cried for less than a minute after the foster mom walked away and that was it. I think she would wake up sometimes over the first week or so and be startled at her surroundings, wide eyed and confused or scared looking, but once she seen me she would look relieved and smile. Other than that we've had no issues at all. Been home 2 months and all is well. Good luck to you!

[Bexter]

I think a lot depends on the baby's personality. Eric was a very outgoing and happy baby in general. He had absolutely no problems adjusting. He met many friends and family right away, and basically drank in all the attention. He didn't seem to miss his foster family at all, which surprised me. I know his foster mom loved him like crazy and took very good care of him.

[Pudding]

It was hard on Lilly the first few nights after she left her foster Mom. She was 7.5 months old. She would cry while she was sleeping. We would rub her back and let her know that we loved her and that we would never hurt her. It took a few nights but then all was well and she started bonding with us and us with her. I know there have been lots of posts on here about this. Apparently every child is different and I have not read of a case (at least on this site) where the child did not bond with the adoptive parents. I am sure that you will do fine.


Beth

[dspakowsky]

Our experience was very good too. She came home at 5 1/2 months and everything has gone well.

Only for the first two days in Guatemala she cried her eyes out because she missed her foster mother, but then she relaxed.

She's bubbly, fun, and easy going. When she hears Spanish her eyes really light up, that's for sure!

[aamommy]

I agree that it depends a lot on the child's personality. Our daughter came home at 4 mos old with ZERO problems. She didn't cry at all, though she was reserved with us for the first few weeks - she slept through the night and ate well, napped well, was happy (though quiet) and very interested in us.

Our son came home at 5 mos and was a whole other story. He was sick when he came home and cried constantly for weeks (whether that was related to leaving his foster mother and adjusting to a new home, being sick, or probably both). He woke up constantly during the night, refused to nap, wanted to be held ALL DAY (fun when you have 3 other kids to take care of). I would say the first few weeks with him were worse than hard - they were a nightmare. Five months later though, things are going well and he is very well adjusted.

Anyway, you could have a great adjustment or a very bad one and I think it is important to be prepared for the worst (I was not prepared and that made it harder to deal with!) The best thing to keep in mind is that even if those first few weeks with the baby are not good, they WILL improve!!!

[Slatond10]

Sabrina adjusted beautifully, however we did have some overstimulation the first couple of days with all the new experiences (i.e car seat, swing, exersaucer, new bed, new bottles, new mom, new home etc...). Some sleep issues with the transition from co-sleeping to crib.

To be honest, the first week was harder on me than her as a first time Mom and single ( Sad and embarrased to admit) . I had jetlag and a little stomach upset from the day in Antigua. Then sleep deprivation because of the new Mom worries . The adjustment from being a neat freak to living with the chaos and focusing on Sabrina. Also, I am an engineer... BIG PROBLEM for the mentality of being a MOM. If you do step 1,2,and 3 then I thought I should have a happy contented baby. It does not always work that way. A crying baby made me feel like a failure and it was hard to change that mentality!

Luckily Sabrina is WONDERFUL and she patiently helped me through the first week and month.

You are VERY SMART TO ASK! and to be prepared!

[DesertMom]

Guapo did really well with the transition. He cried a little bit for a couple of hours at the hotel but that was it. He took a nap and then woke up and all was fine. That's not to say that he probably didn't have moments of confusion or grief at other times, but no crying or clingyness.

Our first night back we ended up in the ER because I got food poisoning and he did well even there. I think we had a harder time adjusting than he did. The only thing that he took time with was getting used to being in a crib since he had never slept in one before. I spent time during the day playing with him in the crib with toys to lessen his anxiety. In about 3-4 days, he was fine.

[beachdreams]

Bailey did real well. We had one major meltdown the first night she was with us at the hotel. After that, she was fine. The only issues we had were due to lack of a schedule (our fault not hers) and over stimulating her (again our fault). We also had the issue of her never having slept in a crib and us only having a queen bed. Plus she was an extremely light sleeper so no turning over at night.

Finally, we decided to stop answering the phone and the door and lock ourselves inside the house with her. We figured out a schedule that worked for all of us and we got her sleeping in her crib and life became so much easier. She also now sleeps like a log.

[Carlee1boy]

Our son had major major sleep issues for about the first two months. During the day he was happy enough, but come night time FORGET IT! He would scream and scream, and it took forever to get him calmed down. He also refused to nap unless I held him the whole time. This was quite difficult with our four year old son wanting attention too!

Fast forward to now (8 months later) and you've never seen a happier kid. He sleeps 12 hours a night and smiles all of the time.

So yes it was hard--very hard--at the beginning. But we stuck with a routine and ever so slightly things worked themselves out.

I wish you an easier time!!!
Carolyn

[cmfayz]

Matthew did better than we expected. He was 4 months old when he came home, was sleeping through the night, and continued to do so after arriving home - no sleep issues at all. He is a very mellow baby and did not seem to phased by all of the changes.

[LadyTink]

Gabriella did very well once we were home. She really only had one rough night in Guatemala, too. The first night she was away from the foster mother was hard, but she was fine by the next morning.

[shellysarita]

I wonder if some of this is related to the age. I noticed Isabel had a rough first night on both of my visits, but on this last visit (she was 5 months), she hardly ate at all the first 24 hours and was less smiley.

Keep the stories coming....I love hearing how it went for others.

Love, Shelly