[bbeard72]

Just wondering how many of you are a dual income family and went back to work after you adopted. How long did you stay home? When did you start researching daycares? Did you have any problems/issues? I'd love to hear your experiences.

Thanks
Bren

[Qtredsunfire98]

I took 3 months off to be home with my son. It was very hard for me to go back to work but I really did not have a choice. I am very fortunate because my mom does daycare, so my son gets to be with his grandmother everyday. This made it much easier for me but I still really wish that I could be at home with him everyday. Let me know if you have any questions.

[mcnay1]

I will begin my leave on Monday (we leave to get our son) and I will take 12 weeks. I am already anticipating it being very difficult to put him in day care and not be with him, but we really dont have a choice. We already have him enrolled in an academy, but there is a 6 week gap that we will have to figure out something else as this daycare did not have any openings until August.

Katy

[jenniferw223]

I am taking 5 months off. I am fortuneate to be able to take this much time off, although I may go back 2 weeks early. I am going to be putting my son in daycare and plan to start him one day a week for a few weeks before I go back to work to help him transition. The reason I may go back a few weeks early is because my husband is going on a trip with a friend the week I am supposed to go back and I don't want Damian to have the change of going to daycare all day and daddy being out of town all in the same week. I did find a daycare very close to my house that I like so we will see how it goes.

[Pick Me]

Depending upon what area of the country you are in--- the "best" daycares may be filled up MONTHS (and in NYC I understand YEARS, sometimes) in advance. So if you are in such an area (ask around at work, neighbors etc.) you want to plan early and maybe even consider a back up plan.

It does all work out--- but it can be very stressful!

[lsk]

I am going to quit my job once we get our baby home. It is kind of scary for me, since I have always worked, and my income helps a lot, but I don't think I'll have any desire to work once she is home. I realize that I am lucky in being able to do this.

[Anne22]

Although you asked for responses from dual career households, I thought that my experiences as a single Mom might be helpful to you.

As you can imagine, being single, I didn't have the option of not going back to work. I chose to take my FMLA leave intermittently, rather than all at once. I took a week in December off and all of January off. In February, I returned to work 2 days a week. Next week, I begin working 3 days a week, which I'll do until May, when I'll go back 4 days a week. In June, I expect to be back to full-time.

Regarding daycare -- in my area, infant daycare is very hard to come by. I put my name on a waiting list for one of the best daycare centers in my area the day I signed with my adoption agency! This particular daycare does not have a lot of turnover and getting a spot can take months or even years. We lucked out and got a part-time spot that began in November. Of course, we weren't completely lucky as my son wasn't home when the spot opened up, but I paid for it nonetheless to save it. Luckily, the part-time spot became full-time this month. I won't be putting him in full-time daycare until June, but at least I know that we have the spot, which, of course, I have to pay for even though we're not using it.

I strongly recommend that you start researching daycare now. You can start by finding out which agency in your State gives daycare referrals. In my State, the State Department of Health and Human Services delegates this responsibility to Easter Seals. Every State is different, I believe. In any event, you can contact the referral agency and tell that agency what you're looking for (e.g., infant daycare in either daycare centers of family daycare situations in a certain geographical area), and the agency will send you a list of entities that meet your requirements. Then you can start calling and visiting.

If you're going the daycare center route, you might want to focus on centers that are accredited by the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC). The accreditation process through that NAEYC is rigorous and centers that NAEYC accredits tend to have lower staff-child ratios, etc.

Good luck to you!!

[LadyTink]

I have been back to work for about a month now after staying home with Gabriella for 6 weeks. My mother is babysitting her, so I have no advice about researching daycares. We had a fairly easy transition when I went back to work. I actually think it was harder on me than it was on Gabriella.

[kelleymac]

We brought Jonah home in May 2004, and I was off with him for 10-weeks, then my husband was off for 6-weeks with him. We began researching daycare about a week after we came home (we had done some preliminary stuff before, but at 3-months out we were looking for places with space available). We got referrals from friends and looked into about five places actively before choosing a large center. We wanted him to go to a home daycare run by a friend of a friend, but she didn't have space. Two weeks after placing Jonah at the center (where he did fine, but what CHAOS! )the home daycare had space open up and he was there from then until August of 2005 when we relocated.

We loved the home situation and the owner was from Peru, which was awesome for Jonah. She spoke spanish to him and taught Mike and I a ton about central and south america. We were devastated to leave her, but relocating was a great choice.

Now Jonah goes to a home daycare a couple of days a week. He goes with his cousin and I am staying at home building a business, so it's the best of all worlds.

I couldn't be a SAHM, it's tough work and kudos to all who do it. The part-time gig works best for our family.

Best of luck! My only advice is this: no matter what you think now, make room for change. I said I'd never give up full-time work, but look at me now. Your priorities totally change when your little one comes home. (in a great way!)

Kelley

[cmfayz]

I took 11 weeks off and went back to work part time 2 weeks ago. My sister is babysitting Matthew - we are very fortunate!! Matthew gets to spend his days with his cousins William and Julia. Here they are:

[jcelestino]

Bren,
I started researching our area daycare centers when we went into PGN. I had every intention of returning to work full time. Between FMLA, personal leave, and vacation, I was able to take 19 weeks off (18 of those weeks were unpaid ) I returned to work full time and had my daughter in what DH and I felt was the best place for her. After a couple of weeks of misery on her part, we started thinking of alternatives. I dopped to part time at work (26 hours/week) AND we changed daycares. Now things are great. Baby seems very at home in her current day care. She loves the staff and they love her. Instead of spending 9 hours a day at daycare 5 days a week, now she's there 8 hours 4 days a week. Believe it or not, it has made a wonderful difference. Not earning my full salary stings a little, but all in all, I think we have a nice compromise going. Good luck to you. It's a stressful process finding a place to leave your little one. I am so glad we found her a new place (she went from crying every day to never crying!) and that I have a little more time with her during the week.
Janet

[dspakowsky]

I planned to continue working full time, but at the last minute resigned from my job. Once my daughter arrived, I realized in my arms is where she needs to be. The bonding time we have is very important. I love every minute of it and don't regret a thing about not making $.

[tinaedmond]

I took five weeks off when our DD first came home. I am fortunate enough to work for a boss/company which allows working from home during the week, so I was able to work two days a week from home once I went back to work. DH's weekend is during the week (in car sales, so he is off Tues and Weds), and then for about a year and a half my mom and my father in law took turns caring for our dd on Fridays. Worked out great!

I will have to say, though, that when we were finally forced to put her in daycare part-time last September, it was one of the best things we could have done for her. Yes, it was hard for everyone at first and it took a few months for her to adjust and to actually really enjoy school. But now she gets to interact with other kids, is learning so much, and her language skills have just exploded!

Tina

[arthymom]

Our bio. son was 9 months old when I returned to work.

For the first few months, it was difficult. After that, he got more out of it than I had thought possible.

There is day care and there is good day care. It's worth spending extra for quality.

How much time I take off will depend on when our daughter comes home. I'm a school teacher. So if she comes home right around this time next year, I can take the rest of the schoolyear off, and the summer. If she is earlier, I will take 12 weeks and then have her in care for the remainder of the year, then try to arrange something w/the day care provider that is more flexible to not lose our spot for the summer months.

Good luck. We can't afford to not work, and I also like my job. I think it can work out well if the day care is good.

[brinawynne]

Start researching daycares NOW. We put our son on waiting list on several of the really good daycares back in June 05. I had no intention of staying home as my income was the majority of our total income. However, my 3 months off with Alex quickly changed my mind, and when I started calling the daycares in December to see where we stood, we were still "waiting". After praying about the decision we needed to make and finding out that Alex didn't have a "spot", I resigned from my job in Dec. However, I didn't take his name off any of the list in case I had major job withdrawal. I LOVED MY JOB! After being home with Alex for 6 months, I can't imagine going back to work. Just to let you know, Alex is still on ALL the waiting lists. No spot has yet to come available. At this point, I'm just leaving his name on out of curiousity! How long will it actually take?