[mcnay1]

Hi all...There have been tons of threads about gifts for foster mothers and their families, but I would love to know what has been given to attorneys, facilitators and attorneys staffs. Havent quite figured this one out and would love some suggestions.
Thanks
Katy

[crathke]

We gave our attorney and faciliator (both men) ties and little "office-y" things that were specific to the state we live in. (paperweights, etc)

[seania]

I didn't think that gifts were supposed to be given to the attorney and helpers, just the foster family. Are we supposed to do gifts for the attorneys also?

We were formerly in the Russian program and were supposed to be doing gifts for everyone involved including the judges, translators, attorney, orphanage workers, etc....

[mcnay1]

It is certainly not expected or necessary, but our agency said that we could give them gifts if we would like.

Katy

[KJones5]

I gave ours nothing. For one thing, we never met the attorney and if we had I still wouldn't have given a gift. I feel the fees we paid were enough. We also did not give the agency staff person anything. Again, she was paid to do her job and after all she was just doing her job.


The foster mom; however, was paid next to nothing and took excellent care of our baby. She had the hardest job of all and received the least amount of compensation. She is the one who deserved the gifts!

That's just my two cents!

[Kesti]

With our first agency gifts were REQUIRED for the attorney and the facilitator. For our second adoption, I did give some gifts to the facilitator and after he opened my tie and cologne he told me how someone gave him money to buy an SUV so there went my gifts down the drain lol

I gave the first attorneys/facilitators pen/pencil sets from Office Depot.

We gave the foster mom lots of gifts such as kitchen items, lipsticks, jewelry, etc. Personal things to make them feel special.

[Mariais5]

I thought we would meet our attorney on the pick up trip, however, we didn't. I bought him a coach keychain at a local coach outlet...

[msaguilar]

We made our decision to give the attorney and his assistant gifts after meeting them and witnessing their hard work on our case, so that's why we decided on giving gifts. Had they not been as helpful, we probably would not have given gifts. Anyway, so we gave the attorney a nice bottle of liquor, and the attorney's assistant (who was the BEST) a nice shawl and matching brooch, along with appreciation cards. We got them in Guatemala so we didn't have to travel with them.

[riaanne]

I hadn't planned on giving anyone but the foster mom/family a gift but the agency suggested giving the attorney a"gift" of 10 sleepers for children. I will do this. Still up in the air on a gift for the foster mom - the agency offered no advice. Other than a picture frame, I am up in the air - I am leaning towards a practical what do they need/want gift which I don't think I will know until I get there

[msaguilar]

Oh yeah - we gave the foster mother money, and coloring books, crayons and board games for her children. I know the money seems impersonal, but we just chose to go that route.

[guatgal]

We brought a bottle of local wine, but we never saw our attorney so we ended up leaving the bottle for the cleaning staff at the Radisson. I don't really think with this adoption we'll bring anything........I agree.........they are making enough off the adoption I'm sure. (Just my two cents!)

[Mommy2twins]

We're leaving in a week and I've been stressing out about the gift thing.... this morning, I decided that the reason I can't make up my mind is because it really seems wrong to me.

These people are doing thier jobs and I'm pretty sure that the money I've sent there covers our expenses and then some.

Don't get me wrong... I think it's wonderful if people "want" to get something extra for someone that was especially kind or helpful to them during the process but when I see people on these boards that are obviously stressed like I've been about what to get and who to get it for (and in some cases for people they will never meet) it makes me angry... this isn't gift giving. This is what leads to corruption of a system that was meant to bring families together.

The salary paid to the FMs, as low as it may seem to us, is inline with a typical salary in Guatemala and it is an agreed upon amount between the FM and the attorney. If you think that the FM is really getting a raw deal, then fight to fix the system... to increase the lawyers fees upfront with a minimum pay clause for the FMs. Then, families can deside up front if the fees are within their means before chosing a country vs feeling pressured at every visit to cough up more and more money; for reasons that may be very unclear to them.

I have personally decided to take some "charitable" items for the waiting children ... they are the ones that really need it.

I've never met our FMs; if they are particularly helpful and kind to us on our visit, I may consider something reasonable for our pick up trip.