[Smylinatya]

I hope this is ok to post. I thought it was cute and since we just had a dog/baby thread a day or so ago, I thought it was a cute follow up.

TO: GOD: FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. (My dog once ate a can of engine degreaser and it didn't make him sick but if he has the smallest amount of kitty food he throws up!)

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. (For my freshly groomed dog it was bear poop...ew!)

3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty. (If you use the 'fresh scent' liter, it leaves the dog's breath smelling minty fresh!)

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. (I thought I was the only one with this problem!)

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, My last two questions . . . Dear God: Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have soooo many ?


P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

[Amykk]

Oh that's funny! I think my dog wrote that one - especially the part about licking the crotch when company is over and sticking her nose in people's crotch. Also, those dreaded garbage collectors who steal all of our good stuff!!

[RTRhino]

LOL - too funny. Our dogs definitely fit a number of these.

Thanks for the chuckle and a smile!
Tom

[PRSALA]

Thanks for the laugh!

(I'm ready to go to work now with a smile on my face.)

[mshackelford13]

That is absolutely adorable. I have a few dogs so I have experienced all of the above and then some. I don't have the pictures on this computer of my crazy "furry" babies but I do have one that is worth posting. This is my one and only purchased animal ( the rest of my babies are rescues). Very long story on how I ended up with this guy. It's a good thing he's cute because I think he got shortchanged in the brain department .

[Annee]

I love it! And your pooches are so handsome. Dogs are the greatest. Between our 3, almost every one of those "commandments" gets broken on a daily basis.

[truegirl]

Well we have two dogs that think that they are HUGE but they aren't here is a photo of our to "protectors"


Nichole

[gdbe]

ROFL, thank, needed that today.

Gail

[maxkinzie]

This dog has a direct support connection with God!! Oh what he puts up with. Don't know how little the picture is, but her finger is IN his eye. He didn't even move!

BTW, no, they are not left unsupervised, and babe was removed after picture was taken :-)

[linda512]

That was really funny! Thanks for the laugh. My dog is fond of human poop in the park (don't ask why it's there) and has rolled in it twice so far! It so good that she is cute....

[jennandsteve]

That was so funny! I laughed out loud.

[Mically]

Here's my furry puppy on a Guatemala bedspread!

[RLK913]

TOO FUNNY!!!

I love the pictures of all the furbabies!!

Here are my two little angels (although they could make a list all their own including licking each other's private parts in front of company and humping each other as entertainment - and yes, they are both girls!)

[ahfdragonfly]

Here's my rescued boy earning his wings

[golden_x_two]

That is to funny. Thanks, I needed the laugh.