[jjuliejchad]

Has anyone had their toddler circumcized? We are talking about whether we should have this done or not and our son is 3 1/2 years old. He has been home for 1 1/2 months. We have another bio son that is circumcized. Any thoughts and/or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

Julie

[chadsmom]

I have the same question. We are picking our son up on Monday and he is 1 year old. He's not circumsized yet and we are having the same discussion. I want to have it done because I don't want Chad to feel different when he becomes older and has to take showers in gym class, etc. I want him to have a positive image of himself and not feel out of place. My husband doesn't think we should because of the acutal procedure and his age. He thinks he is too old and would too tramatic for him.

[bizzee]

I asked this question a couple of days ago because if it is not done at birth, I would not have it done as I too think it would be too traumatic.

For me, I view it as a matter of hygiene over anything else and I think that will just be an area where I will have to teach him to be extra clean.

I wouldn't worry too much about him being "different." There are more uncircumcised than you may be aware and although I could be wrong, I don't think it's a teasing issue among boys. If so, I have never heard of it.

[crathke]

Julie, our situation was the same as yours--we have a bio son who was circ'd at birth and our Guatie prince came home at 31 months--and obviously wasn't.

We spoke with our pediatrician about it and decided to leave things as they were. We live in a very diverse area with many first-generation immigrant families(there are 15 languages spoken in our elementary schools), so we are not at all concerned about the locker room conversations.

Inside our home, we've never once had any questions from either boy as to why they "look different" (other than "my skin is brown and yours isn't. And I like mine better!")--to be honest, I'm not sure they've even noticed any difference.

[Niclayson]

We do not plan to circumcize our son. He will hopefully be home at age 8 months. I probably would have done it as a newborn, but I figure he has enough to adjust to when he comes home. Newborns also have less risk, as it does not require general anesthesia...a risk I'd rather avoid. If there was a medical rather than cosmetic reason..I'd consider the risk.

I've been a nurse for 16 years. Many, MANY men are uncircumcized...he will NOT be picked on if you chose not to have it done.

Good luck with your choice! Remember there is no "right" or "wrong" in this. So be comfortable in your decision.

[Mom2to]

I have a daughter so haven't had to face this question but
due to her prematurity we had to make several decisions about "optional" surgeries and each time opted out because we didn't want to have to put her through any thing more than she already faced. We've decided that if we do adopt a boy that we will not circumsize (at all) or for at least a year after he comes home. I would just not want to put a child through any extra adjustment or discomfort as he was getting settled with us. But that is just us because we don't really care about circumcision. I definitely see the side that if parents feel that it is really important to do, for religious, cultural, or other reasons, waiting may not make a lot of sense.

[tracy62401]

Just wanted to post a quick reply. Our biological son was not circumcised until he was two as he was slightly hyper-spadius and they wanted to use his foreskin for the minor correction. We had it done at Shands and everything was just fine (despite alot of fretting about this). We are now adopting a toddler boy who is uncircumcised and I just returned from a visit trip. When I would try to clean him as we were instructed before, he would seriously balk at this...almost like it hurt. Our physician told us that if the area is not cleaned well and regularly that the substance down in the fold is like a glue. I think this decision has to be made on a case by case basis. We are still trying to decide what to do with our child in his unique circumstance.

[KJones5]

I'm on the fence about this. I am concerned abou the risks. I just can't bring myself to risk him for a cosmetic procedure. If something were to happen, I'd never be able to forgive myself.

Another issue to consider is the cost of this procedure. Most insurance companies won't cover it as it is considered cosmetic. I asked our ped urologist how much it would cost and his answer was "a lot".

Good luck with your decision.

[riptune2]

We decided not to have it done for 2 reasons. 1. My DH is British and it is just not done in the UK and 2. Our Ped and an ER doc. both said that there is no reason to actually pull back the foreskin to do the cleaning. It bascially keeps itself clean by keeping the head protected. As he gets older, the skin will break away from the head on it's own. At that time, he will have to make sure that it is kept clean. As for the locker room stuff? I never heard anyone say anything like that. I would imagine that the talk would

focus on size (not that it matters!! http://forums.adoption.com/images/icons/icon7.gif ) We won't have it done. If in the FAR future he wants it... he can do it himself. JMHO.

Shannon

[lovemy6]

Please do not retract the skin. That's where problems arise later in life:

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/weekl...penis_care.htm

[ej-momtobe]

I think that men have better insight into this issue than women...they are the ones that live with this body part every day. We discussed having this done to our baby when he comes home. I didn't have strong opinion on the subject, but DH is strongly opposed to this so we are not going to have it done. From talking to my friend who have children, it seems like there is a pretty strong trend in this country to not have it done, so I don't think that the locker room issue is going to be as significant as it would have been 20 years ago.

Good luck with your decision.

[joelmami2003]

our son came home at 13 months. we discussed this with an international ped at the U of Minnesota and also our primary ped. and both said- it cleans itself- i was having mothers (those with only girls MIND YOU) that i would have to pull it back to clean it.. NOPE.. both peds said the urnine stream basically will get it clean. if it doesn't- then bath water should be fine. our son has excema so bad we can't use soap in the bath- just luke warm water for 10-15 minutes every 3 days or so. we've never had a problem. we also live in a diverse area and have no fears of "locker room" talk. and if it were to happen. i don't think our son would come home crying about it- even at 3 years old- he's pretty high self confidence.. and could stand his ground. my dh basically just said- if it wasn't done right away and there's no problems- we're leaving it alone.. (OUCH)

joel's mami..

[seania]

Wow, this is a new topic to me. Does this mean that no baby boys in Guatemala are circumcised? I just never thought to ask about this.

[Tina021994]

We knew from the beginning that we would have it done for religious reasons. Our son came home at four months but we were told to wait until he was one due to the problems with putting a young child under one to sleep. He did very well and with only over the counter pain med. that we gave him around the clock for a couple of days to be safe and he was back to normal the next day and healed up in arond a week.
Tina

[lazycactus]

Our son came home at the age of 3 years 9 months and we decided to leave him "as is", especially after talking to our uncircumcised 26-year old nephew who totally "demystified" the whole thing for us: no problems in the locker room (in fact he mentioned that when he was going to school, half the boys were uncircumcised), or with his girlfriend (I guess it means he's no longer a baby -- where did the years go?? ), or with his personal hygiene.

His brother is circumcised so it's not because he was never compared to anyone -- he just thinks that being uncircumcised it totally natural.

Kateri