[moelladeville]

I recently got together with some forum friends I've known for a while. A number of them mentioned that they thought this forum had become too clique-ish. I thought that was an interesting observation, and I wonder what others think.

Just tossing a question your way to help pass the time. (Ring, you stupid phone!)

Talk amongst yourselves!

Marjorie

[lmvsmom]

No, I don't think it's getting to be clique ish. Can you explain further? It seems to be a friendly place to exchange encouragement and info.

[momofmng]

Hmmmm... interesting observation and one I admit I have noticed but not thought too much of. I think it is only natural that groups form... whether you start the process at the same time (such as our Angels and Fall Beginners, etc.), have similar circumstances (Singles) or have just plain conversed with some people more regularly that others. Sometimes, those "lists" and "check ins" do have a exclusivity about them where others would feel uncomfortable to post to that thread, but overall, I feel that this forum is open to everybody whether posting for the first time or the 1,000th time.

I also admit some group envy... such as wishing I had a smaller group to check-in with more often during my process... but then we would have had too many small groups here and it felt better to just post to the whole community.

Just my thoughts... anxious to hear what others think.

Sarah

[happygmom]

I don't post on this forum because I am not at all involved in adoption from Guatemala, but I do often read postings and enjoy hearing when there is good news after the long and frustrating waits.

So .. no I don't think it is cliqueish.

Happy G'Ma

[pmgor]

I have not really felt that. I have a friend that only posts in our agency forum and asked me why I spend so much time here and none there and I told her because I get so much support here and people were so nice

[mattecook]

You know Marjorie when I first logged on I felt that way like I didn't belong. I think it makes a difference as to what level you participate on the forums. If you occassionally log on and don't post frequently I can easily see how you might feel like an outsider. If you log on several times a day, post often and participate in others journey's then I think most feel like they belong. I often wish I lived near others on the forum so that we could get together more often but I also know that I can get on a plane and go to the gatherings myself (which I plan to start doing). My mom always told me you get out what you put in and when you belong to such a HUGE forum like this I think this advice applies. However, I also know that we cannot become better if we don't acknowlege sincere observations from others and I will remember this when I am on the forum. Thank your friend for her insight and hopefully all who read this will think about this as they are on the forums and do better to include others.

Ami

[JohnnaMJH]

Overall I think this is a really good forum. I am on a few lists and really enjoy this one. It is nice to feel like you can help people on the journey, and that people here truly understand the emotional ups and downs of waiting and adjusting. So, I guess no, I don't think it is too clique-ish, maybe a little, but I think our clique-ishness and also the squabbles that happen occasionally are pretty mild compared to some other forums and lists.

[kelleymac]

No, I don't feel the Guatemalan forum is cliquish, but there are other forums here where I am most definitely not welcomed. There are a group of people who post and respond to each other and those are the only posts entertained or well-received.

So, no. I'm comfortable here on the Guat forum and I'm a way old-timer. (son has been home almost 2-years) and I've never felt unwelcome here.

Kelley

[beachdreams]

I love this forum and hated not being able to post when I was home after getting Bailey (my computer is waaaay slow). I missed hearing from everyone. In fact, this is the only Guatemalan adoption forum that I ever posted to. The others did not feel as personable to me.

[becky]

This forum has always had it's cliques...but the overall tone of the forum I think has always been supportive and friendly....that is why I have been around so long!!

There was a time several years ago that a particular group of people off the forum started their own private yahoo group and they only invited certain forum members to join...but of course they didn't keep it quiet, they let everyone know they had a 'club' and only certain people could join. Now that was very middle-schoolish to me. I just don't see things like that happening these days. Even the groups that exist on the forum do it out in the open, right here on the forum.

I know I enjoy reading about the progress of the Angels or the Fall Beginners...even though I never post on those threads.

Again...overall this is by far my favorite adoption site...I think the people here are great!!!

[DesertMom]

I'm a member of the Angels, but I was invited to join even though I started my adoption much later than a lot of the women in the group did. Anyone who reads that group and wants to become an honorary Angel to get the support of the group has always been welcomed with open arms.

I'm sure that there are groups of friends on the forums. There are people who were at the same point as I was when I joined and that's who I know the best. Some of them were with my agency, or some of them I met on my visit or pick up trips, so I always read and post on their threads.

I do always try to reach out and extend a welcome to the newbies and occasionally look at the new folks threads to try to keep people straight. It's hard when there are new people joining all the time and maybe aren't frequent posters. I know that when I joined that Suzanne always posted on my threads as well as a few other "old timers" and that always made me feel welcome. With such a large group though, I don't see how people can help but forming groups. I hope they aren't rude about it though. I want everyone here even if I don't agree with them sometimes. It makes it more interesting.

[kauai2k]

I have always enjoyed the wide variety of people and the parts of the process that they are in...never felt like I didn't belong. In fact, from the very beginning I felt like this was an amazing resource and a great place for TONS of feedback.

diane

[carney10]

Of course, we have several groups that have formed with a common interest. But remember- we all have the same main interest, GUATEMALAN ADOPTION. I think it is common for people to form bonds with people experiencing the same stages of the process as you.

But, I always try to post to everyones threads and welcome anyone new! I love seeing new members come on and post referral pictures and hear about their wait for a referral.
And please anyone-feel free to post on any of the Angel threads. All of our beautiful children are Angels!
Lisa

[moelladeville]

Interesting discussion. I really didn't come down one way or another on this issue, and I'm active in the Single and Fall Beginner threads. Nice post by the Angels. Thanks for helping me to pass a no-phone-call afternoon!

Marjorie

[momofmng]

Originally Posted by DesertMom

Anyone who reads that group and wants to become an honorary Angel to get the support of the group has always been welcomed with open arms.

Gosh... I hope nobody thought I was picking on the Angels! I love your threads and always like to check in on all your updates and picture parades. I was just randomly mentioning the Angels as a group that has formed...

I love this forum... what would we do without each other through this miraculous journey of Guatemalan Adoption?

Sarah