[dyardley]

I have just begun the process of finding an agency for a Guatemala adoption and the biggest concern I have right now is deciding between one that works with orphanages vs those who place children in foster families. I am leaning toward the foster family scenario, though I realize that is probably more expensive, my gut says that the children may be receiving more one on one attention. What are your experiences, thoughts on the issue?

[shellysarita]

It was very important to me that my child be in a foster home situation as I have 2 adopted sisters with attachment disorder. While not all foster home situations are better than orphanages, I think generally they are. I wanted my child to bond and attach to a primary care giver as it is easier to transfer this attachment than to teach a child how to attach at an older age. My baby is doing very well - I love her foster mom.

Shelly

[Valeria4]

Our son, Connor, was in an orphanage. It was a small orphanage owned by our attn. Connor was one of 10 babies in it. We absolutely LOVED the orphanage and our attn.! They took great care of Connor and he was so healthy and well adjusted. We brought him home at 4.5 months old and besides the 24 hour transition period he had in Guat., he did so well. We did spend 6 days in Guat. with him for us to get to know him and him us, and to have that "alone" time with him before bringing him home! It was so worth it and I'll always cherish that time DH and I had alone with him.

We would of loved to have gone thru the same orphange for our second adoption (currently) but our baby girl is in foster care and she is doing well.

I think that orphanages in general may have a negative conotation attached to them but we loved ours! I do know that in some other countries, the orphanages tend to be a LOT bigger and some of the children do not get the attention they need.

Just wanted to share my experience! Hope this helps some...

Val

[mindy41065]

Hi Madelin came from an orphanage and she did very well. She is really attached to her daddy so I dont think she has a attachment problem. We went to pick her up at the orphanage and the place was very clean and she did not come home with the flat head of hair missing from the back of her head like some kids do. So I believe she was moved around alot and didnt stay in the crib day and night. I believe the orphanages out there are better than some of them. Ours was owned by our Attorney.

[Qtredsunfire98]

Dylan also was in an hogar ( orphanage ) and he is doing exceptionally well! He attached very quickly and came home at 4 months old. I would definately go through our hogar again. He did not have anything that would suggest that he was taken care of very well.

[tj'smomma]

My son was in an orphanage- he had no attachment issues- probably because he had alot of care-givers, not just one foster family, to get attached to.The orphanage was very clean, and he was healthy and well taken care of.He adjusted very well- and we had no bonding issues at all.the orphanage was owned by our attorney.

[pmgor]

Our son was in an orphange and when he was given to us he didn't miss or turn to look at his caregiver. The orphanage was big but well run and while it did take him a while to "figure out" mama he did look for me as his caregiver. I'd say it was about 6-8 weeks when he finally one day was held by a stranger and he realized, whoaa... I want my mama. Nonetheless it was a very easy transition because he didn't cry and was happy with us the whole time. He was a rather big boy too, almost 16 lbs at 4.5 months so he obviously was well fed and cared for. I would definitely adopt again from the same orphanage. I think orphanage/hogar care in Guatemala is quite different from the large state run oprhanages you would ususally hear about in other countries.

[dyardley]

Thank you all for taking the time to respond to my question, it is good to hear of positive experiences with both options.

[shellysarita]

I just wanted to clarify that attachment disorder/issues are related to not having a primary caregiver that is why it is more likely that children in an orphanage setting will have to work through this. Also, babies develop at attachment to a primary caregiver between the ages of 3-6 months so for children who are able to come home at a young age this is also less of an issue. I am very thankful that Isabel is in a foster home as our process is one of the slower ones. I think the orphanages in Guatemala are pretty good and don't at all compare to orphanages in Russia or the Ukraine.

Shelly

[brink]

Our three children all came from the same small private orphanage our agency has worked with for many, many years. They were all attached to caregivers and friends and came home to us loving and able to bond. Most of the staff has been consistent through the years, so that also helped our children. They came home at 4yrs, 4yrs, and 10yrs. One year ago today, we met our 10yr old daughter there! What a Valentine's Day that was! We are going through the same orphanage to bring home one more nine year old girl.

I even hate to use the word "orphanage" in relation to my children's early home, for the image it brings up in people's minds. It was very neat and clean. The kids were given many opportunities and the older ones attended private school. I won't give the impression that there haven't been some adjustments this time around with a ten year old girl, but it's gone extremely well because of the love and care she received in Guatemala.

[malenblue]

I have two child from each and ultimately it won't make a difference....don't base your decision on that.

[ej-momtobe]

There was an atricle on orphanages that someone posted the link to last week. I will post it again for you. The article specifically mentions Romania....



http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060217/sc_nm/orphans_dc_2

[beachdreams]

After learning about the Hogars, I would not hesitate to adopt a child from one. They are simply not the type of orphanages that we are accustomed to hearing about.

That being said, my daughter had a foster mother and she was fantastic.

[earthmama17]

From what I've seen, the hogars in Guatemala are very good. I have a friend who is now adopting a 3 y.o. boy from a hogar in Antigua. I wouldn't worry about the quality of care received in these institutions. However, my preference would be for my child to be in foster care to have that one-on-one interaction and bonding to a primary caregiver. My daughter's foster mother was so wonderful that I can't say enough good things about her. She cared for Rayna as though she were her own. If I choose to adopt again, whether the child is in a hogar or foster home will not play a role in my decision (it didn't this time either, but the agency I used places children exclusively in foster homes). Ultimately, the child that is meant to be yours will come to you...via hogar or foster family.

[moelladeville]

Be aware that there can also be problems with foster care. My daughter-to-be and the other child being fostered in the same home were not gaining weight. Another friend's son received blunt-force trauma to the head requiring surgery in the first of several foster homes he was in.

That said, my first son was adopted from foster care with no problems. My second son came from a small attorney-run hogar which was fine, but the attorney would only let us visit for ONE HOUR on each visit trip -- and we had to wear full surgical garb.

He was a weirdo germophobe, but fortunately, my son turned out fine. Then there was the foster-care problem with my daughter. There can be problems on both sides of the fence. Good luck with your decision, and good for you with going in eyes wide open.

Marjorie