[Jensboys]

I disagree for a few reasons -- first off, for a child in a biological family, the loss of a mother through an early death is a horrible loss, but in reality the first (and often only) major loss the child will have to face. For an adopted child - to willfully expect the child to experience the loss of their first mother, then their second mother, in the case of foster care, AND THEN CHOOSE to put them in to a family where they will AGAIN lose another mother sets that child up for HUGE attachment and loss issues later in life. Its not a burden someone should willfully add to an already difficult life.

Secondly, as far as I can tell from reading these boards, many people are WAITING for referrals, so its not like this is the ONLY option for that child/baby. A non-terminally ill parent will be available shortly if not sooner. I know some will say "What about older or Special Needs kids" my response would be to refer them to my answer above -- how much more important that older kids or kids who have already experience life hardships not be forced to experience anymore, if its at all avoidable.

I DO think that as ADOPTIVE parents we should be held to a higher standard. And yes, that includes life expectancy. We are held up as a "better" option than the child's family or country of origin.

[Steffie]

Well said Jensboys. I couldn't agree more. It may not be the most "sensitive" or "politically correct" thing to say, but in my opinion it is the right answer.

The child will have actually already lost their birth mother, their foster mother, and then likely their adoptive mother. I don't think any child should have to face that.

Of course as others have posted we don't know how long any one of has to live. But, using common logic, if you have a fatal disease (as CF eventually is), then the medical opinion is that there is no unknown.