[ThenTheyDo]

Wow, today has been HARD. On Tuesday, our agency called and said that our attorney expected to pick up our GCBC the next day (Wednesday), but that they might get it late in the day, so we might not know until Thursday. They said they hoped to submit for pink by the end of the week.

Well, Wednesday passed with no news, as did Thursday. This afternoon, I called our agency and got a recording that our facilitator was out of the office this afternoon. Seriously! Is it really a shock to them that we're waiting on pins and needles?

Anyway, yesterday was my ankle surgery, and I've been kind of in and out on the painkillers. I found out that I'm going to need knee surgery on the *other* leg in a few weeks, so I am going to spend my 3-4 months as a mother in a wheelchair... I was barely resigned to 6 weeks of it for my ankle.

I know others have it harder, so please don't lecture me, we've been through so much with losing our first baby after the visit and just before pickup to the extended bio family, and with my health these past five years. It finally seemed like I was healthy, and like this go-around at the adoption was working out and them WHAM. So I'm drowning in self-pity. I am deeply religious, but angry. One of my colleagues told me that G-d is having the adoption take so long to give me time to recover from surgery... I can't see it that way, I said, "why does G-d have to give me this disease in the first place?"

Anyway, I've been trying to stay positive, but I really could have used some good news to cheer me up today. I tried not to get too excited when I spoke to my agency on Tuesday, but of course it's so hard not to get our hopes up.

Please pray for us....

[NeeNee]

Sorry you're having a hard day! Did you leave a message for your agency to call you back?

I hope you hear some great news soon!

[LadyTink]

Sorry you are having a hard day. I pray you get some good news soon!!

[lisam00]

I am so sorry that you are struggling. The waiting is incredibly difficult without other added stresses like health issues. Hang in there. Every day brings you one day closer to forever with your child. You are in my prayers!

God bless,
Lisa

[praying4rlittl1]

Just sending you a big hug from someone who understands and cares. Keep your chin up.

[4abrightfuture3]

You sound so sad and I am sorry for your pain and stress. God does have a plan...we just dont know what it is. Try to hang in there it is almost over. It is scary how unfair this process is.

[lcpd]

I hope you hear some good news today! I also hope everything works out for the best with your medical situation. I will say a prayer for you and your family.

[JLStoltzie]

I'm sorry to hear you are having such a hard time and it is OK and feel free to vent. Sometimes it get's harder than we think we can take, but just keep believeing in yourself!!! Look how far you've come, how much you've perservered and your still going. Try to see your strengths because to still be here and doing this shows you are probably SO MUCH stonger than you recognize. Keep your chin up, the end is in sight and you WILL BE HOLDING your child. I'm thinking of you!

Jenny

[ThenTheyDo]

Thanks everyone, you gals (and guys!) are the best. Reading your responses is really like getting a hug.


I left a vm for my agency, of course, and I'm hoping that I'll hear something on Monday... hopefully that we are being, or are already submitted for PINK, but I know that it could also be that the GCBC didn't come in when they expected it to.

My DH took me to babies are us to buy some baby clothes yesterday -- my favorite retail therapy -- and I was able to get around the store in the wheelchair ok. He's actually in the middle of changing jobs -- he finished his old job this past week, and has a week off before he starts the new one, so he's going to see his family (knowing that we won't travel for a bit after we bring home our peanut). Anyway, my oldest girlfriend is coming with her youngest (she has conceived and borne 2 children since DH and I started the adoption process!) to take care of me while he's gone. So at least I get to see her, get out of seeing my inl-laws (LOL) and it gave me the perfect excuse to make DH put in the carseat, put together the high chair, etc, so that she can use them for her baby. that way we'll be in a good position set-up wise if we do get our pink slip this week while he's gone, since I can't set all this stuff up for myself.

Anyway, trying to stay focused on the positive, and stay busy in case our case is actually moving and the agency just hasn't connected up with our attorney (he doesn't email, so he's hard to get a hold of). It's just frustrating to sit and watch DH do things while I sit on the couch or bed with my leg up!

Josslyn, I hope we have a date to meet in GC on Feb. 8. That's what I've "decided" our date is going to be...LOL. I just hope the Embassy listens to me!!!!