[widgit]

And what do you do for the time period between when they can take a toy and when they can resist taking a toy?

We have two 8 month old babies. I've tried teaching them not to steal a toy that their brother or sister is playing with, but so far no luck. I've tried relocating the "clepto-baby" to another part of the room and/or distracting it with a different toy, but that doesn't work either.

Will our kids just work this out themselves in time?

Thank you for all your thoughts and advice. I'm a nervous new mom.

[KellyMigoya]

It will eventually sink in, just keep up what you are doing. I don't hink a child is ever too young to start the ground work for teaching manners.

[alyssa&avery]

Sharing is a tough concept for little ones to grasp. Mine are 4 and 2 and sharing is something we work on every day! Some days are better than others. For now, just keep trying what you're doing. As they get older, I've found that putting the offending toy in time out helps (though sometimes they just find something else to fight over )!

[Parodess]

I don't know, do kids EVER learn to share?? My 9-year-old is great at it, but my 3 1/2 yo still cares nothing for the concept.

Seriously, even at 3 1/2, she knows she's not supposed to take toys -- but emotionally, all she understands is that she wants it and can't have it. It's something she's learned in her head but doesn't realize in her heart yet, if that makes any sense.

It seems like distraction is the main solution when kids want the same toy, even though it doesn't always work. You just keep distracting them, to a different area with a different toy, and eventually one or the other loses interest in the toy they both wanted. I guess this also depends on the temperament of the child, though. Some are agreeable and will go along easily, and some refuse to give up until they get what they want. (I've had one of each of those.)

I don't think there's a concrete age where kids learn right from wrong and can be held responsible for their actions. But you can watch your child and get a feel for it. For example, my 2yo used to turn off the TV when other people are watching it. We would always move her away from it and tell her "no." Then we could just tell her "no" and she would either stop or cry. Then she started doing it less. Then she would always glance over at us when she started to do it, to see if we were watching or not.

At that point, she knew that it was wrong and knew that she was being bad when she did it. I think you can tell by your own child when they don't know any better and when they do know better and are doing it anyway. So I'd say start now by removing/distracting and saying "Don't take toys" or whatever, and then eventually (say, when they're 5 or so! ) it starts to sink in and they start to restrain themselves. And you'll learn by watching them whether they know they're doing something wrong or not.

Sharing, though, is harder than teaching them most things. Because face it, even as adults, we don't always want to share, right? So they may never get "good" at sharing. But when they get older and you can explain about taking turns, it at least gets easier.

Sorry that was so long, but I hope there was something useful in there somewhere!

[csw]

Up until age 2 its mostly parallel (spelling?) play..totally normal..I think its around 2.5 to 3 years old when they will actually play together and share..Ana is 2.5 and just this last week started actually playing with her Sunday school classmates instead of next to them..but believe me..we have over 20 kids in our 2-3 year old Sunday school and most of them do not like to share but if we tell them to they will relutantly..