[carlajm]

Hi there,
Has anyone adopted a toddler from Guat? We were thinking to, but concerned about physical/emotional health issues. Any info greatly appreciated.

[ncmom24]

We adopted a two year old boy from Guatemala this past September and we have had a wonderful experience. Elijah is such a wonderful boy and we consider ourselves to be so incredibly fortunate we are to have him be our son.

He has been so open to our love and care. He adores his daddy and refused to go to bed tonight without kissing him goodnight. He is picking up english so well and even from day 1 has been able to communicate with us his wants and needs. He adores fruits of all kinds and soccer is definitely in his future.

I am so grateful to his foster family for loving and nurturing him for his first 2 years. He has so obviously been loved and cared for and he has been able to take that love and care and cope so well with the huge upheaval in his life. I credit his amazingly resilient personality as well for the success. My oldest daughter said to me yesterday that she no longer thought of Elijah as adopted but just her brother. Three months after bringing him home we have forgotten life without him.

I realize that not everyone has this experience and one should be prepared for a difficult transition. We were prepared for the worst and got the best.

[crathke]

Our son was 31 months old when we brought him home and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Have you done a search for "toddler adoption" on this forum? I know many members have supportive and realistic stories to share.

[kacmom1]

Our son, Luca, came home in May at 2 1/2 years old. He turned 3 last week. The transition was wonderful and he bonded immediately with me and then with the rest of the family. He absolutely adores his siblings! It has taken him a little longer to bond with dad, but he's doing very well.

Luca is speaking English very well. It is amazing to most people who meet him that he has only been here for 7 months and is speaking so well. He is very smart and has an amazing memory.

I, too, give thanks to his foster family. They loved him greatly and because of that he was able to bond and love us easily. Luca has completed our family and we can't remember a time without him. I would absolutely adopt a toddler again!

Good luck in your decision.

[Pamsko]

I'll temper this post with a not so pleasant story, but one that is having a happier and happier ending.

Alex came home at 17 months. We were his 4th family (birth family for 6 months, foster mom #1 for 6 months, foster family #2 for almost 6 months) -- Lots of changes for our little guy.

The first 6 months, he just lived with us. . .I don't know how to explain it any other way. He'd interact with our family, but only as a visitor would. I'm not sure how much he'd been prepared for his adoption, the foster family we met was wonderful, so I think they tried. But Alex is quite strong-willed and stubborn and very, very smart. Every time we had people over, I could see him emotionally preparing himself to leave us. . .our lawn service guy came to the door one day to pick up payment and was talking with Alex in Spanish. Alex ran and got his shoes. . . I'm sure he thought he was finally going "home" -- especially since this guy was speaking spanish to him. We spoke some spanish to him (in our horrible american accent) but that just seemed to confuse him more, so we stopped and went strictly English.

Then, he began to relax a bit as he passed the 6-month line. . .he adores my dh, but it's a very insecure attachment. You could say that he's prepared for Ed to disappear from his life forever. . . and used to cry and cry if Ed even went to the bathroom. That behavior has finally almost gone away.

Alex has been home with us a year now and there's still a few "bad" days. But nothing like when he first came home. He still does not speak--much. Now, when he first came home he said NOTHING.. . he didn't babble or anything. He's started babbling, and says a few identifiable words (ball, book, car), but nothing like what a 2.5 year old should say. Early start is coming out to evaluate him at the end of January and we're hoping that he's just having a slow transition to english and that it's not an emotional problem.

Having said ALL that (sorry so long), I can tell you that I can't imagine my life without Alex. He has brought us such joy and is such a sweet, sweet, helpful child.

So, despite the doom and gloom beginning, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'd just say to read all you can, prepare yourself for the worst, and then go for it. I don't regret one minute of it!

Loving my boys --

[Iris's Mom]

Iris came home at 2 1/2 years in June of 2005. She lived with her birth mother for 6 months, foster mother for 6 months, then an orphanage for 10 months, In December when we took the referral she was put into private foster care. The foster mother really prepared her. When we saw
her for the first time she came right up to us Mama, papa,
Michael( our 11 year old). We have bonded great over the last 6 months. I could not have asked for this to go any better. We did send a photo book to her with captions in spanish. I had a picture of Mike holding a teddy bear and then I sent the bear with the book. I did read toddler adoption the weavers craft. they have some very excellent advice.

Maria

[brink]

Our boys were older, both four yrs old, so you may not be wanting this info. But if your concern is because they are older, this may apply. Our boys were both in a wonderful, private orphanage in Guat City, where they recieved much love and care. They both had no issues that we noticed...other than learning the language. They were speaking only English (not that our goal was for them to lose their Spanish, but they did since we are not bilingual) after two mo. and six mo.

We brought our ten yr old daughter home nearly one yr ago. She came from the same orphanage. There were some initial issues the first few months, nothing big, just annoying. There are things that will and have effected her more than our sons, having lived without the benefit of a family for ten yrs. Even being a ten year old girl can be an issue for anyone! It was very difficult watching her grieve during our pickup trip and a few times during the first few months. Yet it was also very encouraging to know she had feelings for the friends and caregivers she was leaving behind. The other day, as I cut her hair, she got teary. I asked her why and she said she was thinking of her friends. I am sure there will be other "triggers" which remind her of her life in Guatemala and bring sadness and grief over her losses. Mostly, she is very happy being an 11yr old girl, oblivious to the realities of the adult world.

I believe the issue is usually more in how well the child has been able to bond with their caregivers. Ours had consistent caregivers over their years in the orphanage. If a child has the capacity to bond, I believe they can transfer that to their new family. Granted, it takes time to establish and accept new roles, but if you are ready for all that parenting holds for you, things should go well.

[DPline]

Daniel was about to turn one when we accepted his referral and 20 months when he came home. He has done wonderfully. He bonded to us very quickly and is just the most loving little boy. His speech is somewhat delayed - the bottom end of "normal" - but is improving every day. Other than being very anemic, he was/is very, very healthy. I give his foster family so much credit for all they did raising him for the first 20 months of his life. Like others have said, I think their love and care made his transition her so much easier.

[carlajm]

thank you so much for the info

[carlajm]

thank you so much

[carlajm]

thnak you so much

[carlajm]

thank you so much!

[carlajm]

thank you so very much

[marie2005]

We brought home our daughter 1 month ago. She had just turned 3. It has been great - much better than I would've anticipated. She bonded to us immediately on the first visit trip (it was like she had been waiting for a mommy). We also have a 6 year old, who was so excited to have a sister, but that changed with the reality of her being here. Most of our issues have had to do with their relationship. They fight alot! And the 6 year old is so jealous. She is having alot of trouble adjusting. In fact as I type this, she has been crying for 15 minutes (with my dh right now) because Kimberly ate some of her candy. And I should say the first 2 weeks, Kimberly tantrummed ALOT. This has lessened a great deal. And I'm amazed at how much English she is already using. And she is so cuddly and affectionate, it's wonderful. All in all, I would say I am amazed at how well it's gone. I know we've been lucky and Kimberly seemed to be very resilient. She had been in multiple foster homes, and I was told she wasn't treated very well in one (not sure of the details). Now if I could figure out how to help our 6 year old deal with this.