[Dee_ders]

Ok, I apologize in advance if this is long and rambly.

My dh and I are planning a trip to the US to spend Christmas with family (if you don't remember we live in the Middle East and are originally from CA). It would be our daughter's first Christmas in the US. We were then planning on going to Guatemala the first week in Jan for our second visit trip to our son - Jake and have dd meet Jake. We had a little hope that he would be home for Christmas but realize that is not going to happen.

We received word today, "that DNA was done on 10-14, the social work interview has been done, and we are now waiting for the court report and embassy pre-approval, then this case will go to PGN."

We have been advised to reconsidered our trip because they feel our pick up trip could come after our vacation (we are scheduled to arrive back to our home 1-11.

Now, I have tried doing the math with guesstimates about best case scenario when we would be able to get Jake (8 weeks pre-approval, 3 weeks PGN -remember I am saying best, 1 week BC, 1 week Pink, 1 week appt) and I come up with around the 1st of Feb. Please correct me if I am wrong or missing something.

My delima is this, if we go to the US in Dec/Jan, dh will not be able to go with me on pick-up trip because he can not take that much time off work so close together. Which means that I would be away from dh and dd for about 2 - 3 weeks (takes 20 hours of flying time to California, then add layovers, time in Guatemala, then back to CA where I need time to get a US passport which is 3 - 4 days, and then return flight home).

It seems that if the pick-up trip was in early Feb then maybe we should not go on vacation so we could all go on the pick up trip together. But, we have not seen Jake since he was 3 weeks old, he will be four months on the 7th and I know that things may not work out with the best case scenario and we may not get him until March and I pray it's not later, and then we missed seeing him in Jan at 6 months.

Any advice on what you would do? Would you keep your vacation, knowing that you may have to turn around and do the long trip yourself, just a few weeks later, or just wait until you could all go together?

I hope this made sense I apologize this was so long.

Thanks so much!

[annaguat]

We have a similar time line. I would wait it out but that is me. Anna

[JohnnaMJH]

It is really hard to say. I guess my first reaction was not to change your vacation plans. If for some reason it dragged out, it sounds like you would regret not being there in Jan.

The p/u trip alone does sound difficult. I did it, but with nowhere near the time away that you will have.

I guess it comes down to, what would you dislike more? The p/u trip alone, or if the case goes into March and you haven't been back to visit?

Good luck, it is a tough call I'm sure!

[linda512]

I agree that changing your vacation plans may leave you really upset if the timing is delayed. Any chance someone from your family can come with you on the pickup trip to help out? I'm not sure if you're most worried about doing it alone, leaving DD and DH for that long or having DH miss out on the pickup.

[cmfayz]

I would do the visit trip in January. If you don't, your case will be delayed and the wait will make you crazy. Of course, if you visit, your case will sail through and you'll turn right around to go back for the pick-up trip. Kind of a Murphey's law thing. But, so what, you'll have seen your son in January and you'll have him home. Also, I often make decisions based on what I'll regret least. You're more likely to regret not going in January if your case is delayed. I hope this makes sense!

[chrisa]

Hi,
I don't have any real advice...this is a real hard decision and we also faced the same type of situation.
we are Americans living in Germany and we also really needed to have our son leave on a IR-3...so long story short...my daughter (3 years) and I just stayed and fostered until we were complete. hubby flew back to Germany for a few weeks and then came back to pick us up (lots of flying but, he also could not take weeks and weeks off of work) at the time we did not know for sure how long I would be there.
as fate would have it we just made it and then got out of PGN. so all we had to wait for was the sign off and the long wait for a GC birth cert.

I just wanted to add we are also from California. We went back home (CA) to get our son's USA passport and it only took one day at the San Fransico office or you can go to the Los Angeles one too, (I'm pretty sure) and get the one day passport....but, it was really all day...went in the morning and had to come back late afternoon. and you have to call and make the appointment and you have to be living the country within 14 days (I think that was what it said) we actually made the appt while we were still in Guatemala


good luck on your decision.
chris

[jkittysim]

My two cents:

I am hoping for a similar timeline, getting the kids home in Jan/Feb, although I don't really know how feasible it is. I am going to GC to spend Christmas with them, anyway. I have not seen them since April. However, they are older and very aware that this is taking forever, more so to them than me. They seem to have bonded very well to me with our visits and phone calls. So they "know". This is the main reason for the Christmas trip. I don't want to miss it and because I think it means a lot to them.

Also, a wonderful friend of mine who travels frequently has tons of frequent flier miles he has donated to us for our travels, so my tickets cost near nothing. The Christmas trip is expensive at 2x the FF miles, but cost only $50.

However, for an infant who doesn't know Christmas from another day and would have no memory of whether I was there or not ... I don't know. I would probably wait it out. I don't want to sound cold, it's just that I am a pretty pragmatic person. We have limited funds and would probably wait. I would end up looking at the money the ticket, hotel, and travel-food would cost and think "boy, that would go far towards ...(insert almost anything here)."

Still, this is highly theoretical for me, and you have to make the decision you can be happiest with. Good luck, and I hope you have an incredible trip, whenever you go!

[PattyR]

Well, after my experience with my daughter's adoption --- I would say go for the visit trip. If there are delays then you will regret missing this time with him.

Also, with the holidays approaching I think it is unlikely that the best case scenario is likely. From my understanding, most preapprovals are really taking more like 8 weeks right now. In the next few weeks, the beginning of the holiday season and vacations will begin in Guatemala. Typically things run a little slower in the late Nov., Dec. and early January time in Guatemala.

Of course, this is just what I would do and ultimately you need to do what you feel is best. Good luck with your decision and hope your little one is home soon!

Patty

[cr653]

you should go for the visit trip.
the "we think"...stuff is often nice, but frankly, how could the KNOW?! there are too many variables out of anyone's control that cant be anticipated by even the best attorney.
if you visit and have to turn right around and go and get your baby, count it as a bonus! that he's coming home so soon.
you wont regret a visit, but you might regret a missed one...

JMHO...
cris

[marie2005]

I've gone on 2 visit trips, and both times my dh tried to talk me out of it, telling me our pick-up trip may come soon after it. And both times, I decided that I wouldn't make/change plans based on wishful thinking with the adoption. And for us, our case has dragged on. Hopefully that won't happen for you.

[Dee_ders]

I appreciate each and everyone of your opinions it sure helped.

Dh and I discussed it and we have decided we will continue with our plans, even it means that I could stay longer in the US while him and dd return home or that I may turn right back around for the trip again.

Like a few of you said, I would regret not going if we did not get to pick him up until March or later!

Thanks again!