[foxl]

She is wrong. But it happens -- my situation was such that someone NOT in the line of supervision, but who had the supervisor's ear, disliked me and distrusted my service.

My adoption was used against me, I was "under such stress," and "went through such an ordeal." That is why I was acting so awful. Certainly, it was not that I was being bullied by this other person, and reacting to THAT stress ...amazingly, I rode it out and refused to cave in to the simplistic explanations being foisted off on my "adoption stress." Things are better, but I will not ever trust people in the same way again.

[tricecm]

Not only is it time to send that principal to the principals office, but it is time to let your union AND the members of the school board know about this. Anyone who has made it that far (as to be a principal) knows full well about FMLA, so your principal was creating a hostile working environment for you. This is illegal. It is illegal to discriminate against people for growing their families.

Let your school board know that this happened, and let the superintendant know as well. They need to know that there is a principal out there purposely trying to intimidate and drive out teachers illegally. Let them know that you want them to know now so it won't negatively impact the district later when someone takes legal action against the district. And, put this in writing.

Shame on that nasty principal. She is not ignorant to your rights, she's just trying to intimidate you. Don't let her get away with that.

Now.......that being said, really step up the professionalism at work. Do not mention your adoption or anything else personal at work--unless you go out after work with some friends or something. Don't give her anything to point towards. That will happen soon enough when your baby comes home and you need to get a sub because the baby is too sick to go to daycare (which happens---happened to me today). This takes a page from foxl's experience---don't trust them!

Good luck. It's a lousy thing that's happening to you.

[MLRJ]

Oh my GOSH!!! What does she do when folks are pregnant???? I think this could be discrimination???? Not sure but maybe worth looking into? I am so sorry that you have to deal with this too!

MLRJ

[YuppieMommy1]

Hi,

As an employer, I know she is walking on very bad ground here. There is a family leave act. You are allowed to take up to 6 months off without pay and receive your job back for family issues. The adoption would absolutely fall under this. No one likes a lawsuit but it might be interesting to research this and scare them a bit. They are ignorant. It's a federal law. You can't do that as employer. As an employer you have to be VERY CAREFUL about things like this.

Go get 'em!

Big Hugs,
Sally

[Kesti]

I'm not surprised. I know two others who were layed off after their babies came home from Guatemala. When my daughter was dying in the hospital after open-heart surgery, I too was layed off.

Although this is a little diff., I rem. Donald Trump stating on cnn that women who are pregnant are liabilities to a business. Also, during the same show, his assistant, the blond woman that you see on the Apprentice, hid her preg. from him until late in the preg. due to these issues.

I am once again appaled! I don't have any advice but many workplaces are certainly not "family" friendly are they?

One more note, I am a Professor and had not received my textbook to develop my online course. The woman who checks out our classes sent me an email and said "I know you have two children but yoiu still need to get your work done". This email was offensive of course as my classroom was not ready because I had been begging for the text for 2 months and it was one week before class and I still did not have it. Anyway, I wrote her back and blasted her for using my children against me and then told her that if they would give me the book I would be able to get my classroom setup. I have since seen her at a faculty meeting and of course she would not establish eye contact with me nor has she ever apologized.

The only way our world moves ahead is by procreating and that means having children. I guess we should all stop having children to satisfy our employers who are anti children. What a joke!

My best to you and this person at your school. I wonder if she is jealous of you adopting. Does she have any children? I bet she doesn't and I bet there is some animosity embedded in her actions.

Again, best of luck.

I wish you the best.

[jcelestino]

Unbelievable! Definitely get the support of your union. i hope this principal is disciplined for her lack of professionalism. Good luck!

[Carlee1boy]

I am a school counselor in Georgia. I think you should put in a call to PAGE and see what they say. You DO qualify for the FMLA. I had a biolgical son and adopted a son, and BOTH times I qualified.

You know, you may not have to work for awhile if a lawyer decided to explore this discriminatory comment... Unbelievable!

Are you in the Atlanta area?

Carolyn

[Jecca]

I'm really sorry. I feel so bad for you. Your adoption is such an exciting thing, and she totally stole your joy. She should be ashamed of herself for being such a nasty. I told my principal last week and she was beyond thrilled for me. I wish it had been the same for you.

Your union will definitely stand behind you on this issue.

-Jessica.

[Elizabeth101]

Thanks to all for your advice and support. I contacted our PAGE representative, and she will be in our school talking to me on Friday, and any other disgruntled teachers. I will let you know what I find out. Thanks again. LIZ

[melgrant]

I´m a lawyer. I say hang onto your job, fight for your right to FMLA leave, tell the principal´s boss what the principal said and make the PRINCIPAL leave. No one that ignorant of the law should be in a position of authority -- if the principal will treat you that way, I shudder to think of what might happen to families or children.


You go, girl!!!

[widgit]

If the topic is brought up again, ask him/her to clarify. I know you're madder than a hornet at the moment, people say things like that. BUT when you ask him/her to clarify "problem", "personal issues" or vague terms like that you hand them the rope to hang themselves.

I recently had similar trouble. My heart goes out to you. Whatever you do to respond to discriminating bosses like this paves the road for the next adoptive parent.