[KellyMigoya]

Don't worry. Some days will be crazy with just two kids.

[brink]

I've had the desire to adopt since jr hi and knew a family with two beautiful Korean adoptees. My husband had wanted foster kids since he was in jr hi. It was a premarital discussion. I told him I wanted to "keep" the kids and wasn't as interested in foster care...tho I'm more open to it now and see the great need. After two bios, one miscarriage, another bio, we knew it was time to pursue adoption. With so many children already alive in the world, we didn't see our need to create more kids ourselves.

We signed with an agency under both US newborn and Guatemalan program. A birth mother wanted her newborn to have siblings, so we were blessed with daughter #4 coming at 12 days old. We now also have three children from Guatemala...two boys, 11 and 9 and our 10yr old daughter who came home last Feb. We are at it again, waiting on news that the 8yr old girl we met in Feb at the orphanage is free for our family.

Long story short is that my biggest fear has always been getting pregnant and ruining our chances to adopt. Now I'm past the age of that possibility!

[jlcoffey1274]

Hey, well put! Thanks

Originally Posted by mac308

I am lucky to have not had to go through infertility testing and trying... I really don't feel a strong desire to have bio children, except for the fact that I would love to have 4 children (not only 2).

jlcoffey: I think I'm like you... want a big family with LOTS of kids running around. Don't care how I get there- just can't afford 4 Guatemalan adoptions

Megan

[jlcoffey1274]

3 under 3 is a little much for me... congrats to you Julie

Originally Posted by tjlombard

Just a quick add on here.
We tried for 5 years to get preg. 4.5 into it we adopted our DD from Guat. We kept hearing that "you get preg now stuff." For a while I wanted it to be true. Then I realized after getting preg with help and a miscarriage that I wanted to adopt again and would be super happy with just "my 2 Guats"
I told my DH no more fertility stuff, no more tests etc
we were Guat bound.
Then..........seriously suprised we got preg. But for a while I was so scared and NOT happy about it.
Weird huh??
Now we are happy (in 6 mohths we will be dumb and happy and tired) .
So I feel like God knows what is best. 3 under age 3 for us
He will direct you if another preg is on your radar

[jlcoffey1274]

YOu must be a saint! 3 under 3... that is a little much for me... I thought maybe 1 @ 5.5 and 2 under 2 would be ok with me... You got your hands full... best of luck.. enjoy them.. we want photos...

Originally Posted by tjlombard

Just a quick add on here.
We tried for 5 years to get preg. 4.5 into it we adopted our DD from Guat. We kept hearing that "you get preg now stuff." For a while I wanted it to be true. Then I realized after getting preg with help and a miscarriage that I wanted to adopt again and would be super happy with just "my 2 Guats"
I told my DH no more fertility stuff, no more tests etc
we were Guat bound.
Then..........seriously suprised we got preg. But for a while I was so scared and NOT happy about it.
Weird huh??
Now we are happy (in 6 mohths we will be dumb and happy and tired) .
So I feel like God knows what is best. 3 under age 3 for us
He will direct you if another preg is on your radar

[Bassette]

I have had no desire for (another) bio child and neither has DH. However I do pine to adopt again.

[waiting4cristo]

It always amazes me how many of you have bio kids and are now adopting - I love it!

Our story is kind of similar to many post-ers in that we tried for ages (7 years) to get pg (iui's, ivfs etc); after our 1st failed ivf we went to a meeting on adoption, which I really wasn't ready to consider yet. At the time I kept thinking that if I started adoption, I'd just be doing it because of "what everyone always says" - that we'd get pg. And obviously that was the wrong reason to adopt (duh).

A few months later we had another failed ivf and I was on the phone the next day to our agency starting things up...all with the biggest sigh of relief my dh and I have ever had. Everything just fell into place and we realized this is what we should have done years ago (but needed to go through everything we did in order to get to that stage). Our sigh of relief came from 1 main source: I am diabetic and, while we never said it out loud up til then, we were both so scared something would happen to me or the baby. Now we're making sure I don't get pg because this is SO right for us...and we're planning ahead for our 2nd adoption (girl next time) a couple years from now. One other bonus my dh and I have verbalized: if anything were medically wrong with our adopted child, we'll never be able to blame ourselves. (Dh also has health probs).

Great topic...love everyone's stories!
~Tricia

[dsepme]

At the age of 5, I knew I would be an adoptive parent. My husband and I discussed adoption over bio kids on our second date. For me it wasn't so much a desire to NOT be pregnant, but rather a desire to follow God's calling for my life.

I am considering tubal ligation to ensure that NO OOPS ever happen, but being a SAHM to a preschooler and a toddler does not allow me time out for surgery now! Imagine that....

When I get that "Oh, now you'll get pregnant comment," (assumption we have fertility issues) I usually respond with "Gosh, I hope not. That would be one less child we could adopt."

[Amykk]

We chose to adopt because pregnancy for me would have been high risk for both me and a future baby. I did have some thoughts during the frustrating adoption process that maybe I should have just tried to get pregnant, but now that he is home I have no doubts that this was the best decision of my life. Now I really don't want to get pregnant because 1 - I have my hands full with him for now! and 2- I think it would be unfair to put my health at risk when my little boy needs his mommy.

[Niclayson]

I have 2 bio daughters. Had two not so great pregnancies, pregnancy induced hypertension with the first (spend 10 days in the hospital for an early induction followed by a postpartum uterine infection and sepsis), very ugly delivery with the second (baby need to be revived)...my daughter nearly died. Decided NO more pregnancies. Had tubes tied. Always planned to adopt!

We went on to foster children. And I eventually ended up having a surprise ectopic pregnancy (one tube is still sort of open)...this made me realize just how much I wanted another child!

I would love to have more kids, but I really have no burning desire to be pregnant...it just was always a stressful event for me. Adoption is something I am really enjoying. I can dream about this child and shop and prepare...but I don't have to puke, be tired, have hemorroids, add to my stretch marks, not have a glass of wine with dinner, or not be able to breathe if I lay down. Yep, its been nearly 12 years since my last full-term pregnancy...and I still vividly remember the pitfalls. Yes, I remember the joys of the baby moving as well, but I still have no desire for a repeat.

Now adopting again...that's something I'd love to do!!! I hope Guatemala stays open. My new son will need a brother!

[mac308]

I remember thinking when we adopted our first Guatemalan beauty.... thank goodness we couldn't have bio children because then I might not have our dd (I cannot imagine our lives without her)!!! Don't you just wish it didn't cost an arm and a leg to adopt??? I never thought we would be able to adopt a second childe, though, and here we are! Maybe somehow I could pull off adopting two more times

Megan

[tatch]

Watch out what you crave!!!

We have had fertility problems for 4 years and lost one child due to premature birth. I was finally over the idea (dream) of having bio children and had my heart set on adoption. We brought our beautiful boy Isaiah home on July 6th, 2005 and voila, I got pregnant less than four weeks later!!!!

Although we are VERY excited, we are feeling way overwhelmed at the thought of having two children 14 mos apart!!! Whoa!

[mac308]

Congrats Libby! Very exciting! Keep us posted on how everything is going. Good luck.

Megan

[melgrant]

I am sorry you were offended. But I did NOT say that experiencing pregnancy was "normal." I very carefully said that it was normal to want to experience pregnancy -- it's hard to disagree with that, isn't it? Are you saying that people who want to experience pregnancy are abnormal?

I think you could have avoided getting offended if you had read my post more carefully.

[beachdreams]

Melissa I am one who would be considered abnormal because I do not have the desire to experience pregnancy and I was certainly NOT offended by your post. I never wanted to be normal anyway. LOL

I have known since I was very young that I wanted to adopt because I had many friends who were adopted. I was lucky enough to marry a man who did not care whether our children were biological or adopted. He actually preferred adopting as well. So here we are.

Unfortunately, I also want a huge family but unless we garner more money some how, we will have to limit our adoption to two children. This will be our first and in a year or so, we will go for number 2.