[begaines]

Are any of you doing a journal for your precious adopted baby? If so, how are you doing it, what kind of book are you putting it in? Just give me the details.

Beth

[amie-b]

i am doing a journal. i have a book with handmade paper i got at barnes and noble. i started the day we signed with the agency and just wrote how the dossier was progressing, and kept at timeline of entries for important things like completeing the paperwork, waiting for referral and that sort of thing. after we recieved the referral, and actually before then, i started to write notes to the baby and express how i was feeling...excited, anxious, happy, frustrated...and the like. now it is a combo of both. i write to her about developments in the case, just to say hi, about different fundraisers, hos her extended family is feeling about waiting for her...that sort of thing. she'll probably read it as a young adult and think "boy my mom really is kinda nuts!" but i find comfort writing to her and recording this journey for her. i am sure it will be priceless someday. happy journaling!

[KellyMigoya]

I started a book after my last miscarriage with invitro using egg donor. It was really more cathartic for me but once I started I kept it up and still work on it. THis way my daughter will know someday how much she was loved and wanted before she was ever even born!

[lockharts]

Yes,
Over a year ago, our sons decided that Memo needs a story book of his process. Since we had no way of giving him a babybook or pictures of his childhood thus far. I picked up a nice hard back journal from Target. Needless to say, I have picked up 2 more since... We never dreamed this Journal would become a novel. (Over a year to process this adoption). I'm very glad now that we have done this. Maybe someday he will understand that we had no choice in how long this is taking. Good Luck.

[Devora]

I started to keep a special journal for our son when we were part-way through the homestudy and dossier process. At that time I wrote it "to my someday coming child", after we had his referral I used various nicknames, and it wasn't until the end of our visit that I actually addressed him by name.

I just use a journal that I picked up at the bookstore that I liked. I tend to write either (A) after something in the process happens (including the paperchase) or (B) just when I am especially thinking about him. I've told him about what the adoption process involves, the excitement of getting closer to him, how we told family we were adopting and how we shared his referral with them, kind things family/friends/strangers have done for us in this process, and lots about him when we visited.

I think the one thing you have to decide is how much of the raw experience you feel comfortable sharing with your child. Although I write to our son about the anxieties, etc., I only do so after I've gotten out of the bad spot and can tell him about it in retrospect. That's because while I feel it's important to be authentic and honest with our child and let him see us in our imperfection, I do not feel comfortable "processing my stuff" with my child. So I keep a journal for myself where I write when I need to sort stuff out for me and I keep his journal for telling him about his story. For me those are two different things.

This boundary thing really hasn't been a big issue for me because our process has been smooth (except for a long wait for a referral and my flipping out over preapproval, which was completely self-induced). But I think one of the reasons I have found such peace in the process and have been able to cherish the wait for what it is, is due in part to the fact that I kept the journal. It has let the wait be something I can share with our son instead of just something to get through until we're together.

By the way, I plan on keeping the journal as he grows up, too. I think it will be neat to be able to share stories with him about him and our lives together. If he's interested, I'll read it to him just like a storybook rather than waiting until he's older to give it to him.

Just do what works for you! There's definitely no right or wrong on this one!

Best wishes,
Devora

[msdice]

We have been using a website as our journal. This does several things, first it provides a place for friends and family to go to see our progress and pictures. Second, it provides an easy way for me to make entries. I'm not one to sit down and write in a journal, but this technology stuff, I can have fun with! Third, it has provided us with a resource to share with others we have met that are also considering adoption. They can follow along our journey to see all the good times and difficult times on this road to adoption. We’re SO glad we started it as early as we did.

--Mike

P.S. The link to our website is in my signature.

[lovemylittlejoe]

I started my journal in 2001 when we first started the adoption process. I am still writing in it today (Joey's milestones, funny sayings, etc...). I highly recommend it. I look back at the begining sometimes and crack up at what I wrote.

My journal was a simple spiral bound book that says "My Journal" on the cover. I got it at Hallmark.

It's well worth doing.

[csw]

With our son I wrote everyday in his journal...for the 6 months of fostering in Peru..
For our daughter I bought nice journals in pastel colors and wrote basically before and during my 4 trips to Guatemala and wrote everyday when I fostered in Antigua..thoughts, feelings etc..
My son at 14 really enjoys us going back and reading his (he has at least 4) and it brings tears to my eyes when I read it..