[shellysarita]

I am wondering if anyone only adopted one child and already has bio kids.....my dh has said we will only adopt one child but I am concerned for this future child and how she will feel being the only person of another race in our family. I am concerned over nothing?
Shelly

[tammy2]

We have 2 bio girls and we only plan on adopting Robbie, which he is not home yet . We were more concerned during the beginning of the process because he would be of a different race and culture. My 4yr old does not even see the difference and with her blonde hair and fair skin she thinks he looks just like her...so adorable. However my 7 yr old does see the difference. We have also been considering keeping part of his birth name. We are going to wait and see how things go. I would really hate to go through all this again though

[becky]

We have 4 biological children and our youngest is adopted...we most likely will not adopt again.

Our youngest knows she is adopted, we all discuss it in a very positive way. We are all excited to go back to Guatemala some day together.

As for looking different...my 4 biological kids all look different from one another, and so when we talk about it (which isn't often) we mention Kellye's blonde hair, Ben's blue eyes, and Jayme and Bella's beautiful brown hair and eyes...at this point it doesn't seem unusual at all.

[lisam951]

We have a 9 yo bio dd and two adult children who don't live with us from my dh's first marriage. None of them have a problem with their differences. They all have different colored eyes and hair. We have been raising 9 yo dd to be "color-blind" since she was born. To her, skin color is no different than eye or hair color. It is not a big deal. Marisol is 2 and we do talk about adopting her and how God had her waiting for us in Guatemala. It is cute how she says "Gotta-malla" The only comments we usually get about her is how beautiful she is..so for us not a big deal.

[pvanabel]

We have one bio who is 2 years old, fair skin, reddish blonde hair and very tall. Our little Miriana is going to be dark hair, dark eyes, a bit darker skin than him, but we are okay with that. There are so many families today in this world that look different and are mixed families due to differece. We say it is going to give our family a bit more "color and character" and teach all of my 18 nieces and nephews about learning about a different culture and customs. We are keeping parts of her and her birth mother's name, her birth name was Mirian, we are naming her Miriana and giving her 2 middle names, one after my Mother and one after part of her Mother's name, we want to keep as much of her background as possible. Good luck with everything.

[shellysarita]

I guess my concern is for the adopted child feeling out of place. Race isn't an issue for us. My bio kids don't seem to notice race either- I have Philippino sisters which I think exposed them very early to the idea of a family of more than one race. Things I had read about transracial adoptions suggested that we really needed to adopt more than one child of another race. Just wondered what youre experiences were...
Shelly

[lmvsmom]

We are a caucasian family with bio children and one domestic adoption of an AA boy. It has not been an issue for our family. He is completely accepted and completely accepts us as well. We will most likely adopt only one other child (although I would love to adopt more) due to finances.

[coachmom]

WE have 5 bio and are adopting one. They don't have a problem withthe one being a different shade, but not sure how the adopted one will feel yet, although I can't imagine it being much different that having one handicapable child in the house(like we have). They are all different in their own ways anyway!!!
Doretta

[cr653]

we have bio kids, and now little tr2!
how great to be the youngest, only girl,
completely dotted on by every guy (and yes mommy!) in the family!
sure she looks completely different...my boys are white blonde! but whew is she cute!!!
we will deal with any issues we have regarding her feeling "different" as they arise.
we have already dealt with the "differences" wiht our boys...the little one is MUCH better at football skills than the bigger one...now that was a tough difference to deal with!my poor "big guy".
anyhow.
do what is best for your family and then treat situatioons as they arrive.

have fun adding to your family!

cris

[Littlekat]

We have a bio daughter, age 7 1/2. We just adopted a little boy from Guatemala, aged 5.

Our daughter looks very much like both my husband and me. People always comment on that.

We live in an area where almost everyone is white. There are just over two hundred kids at our town elementary school and I think there are only 5 - 8 kids who are of other races.

Here's how we looked at it. We knew our extended families and good friends and neighbors would embrace our child regardless of his race. We knew we did not care what color he was. We are willing to honor his heritage along with our own. We could make it work.

Our sone has been home 4 weeks. He has been warmly and enthusiastically welcomed in our community and family. We tend to tell him how handsome he is, just as we complement our daughter's beauty.

We have hung objects of Guatemala around the house in common areas. We are making contact with other families who have children from Guatemala. We plan to attend family events sponsored by the agency. We plan to bring him to cities within driving distance so he can notice that he is not unusual in not being white skinned. I am beginning to learn Spanish so I can help him keep his Spanish.

I am not worried. I think we will always interact positively with him based on who he is inside and out. If there are a few extra arrangements we have to make for him to help him with race, I am confident we can and will do it for him.

Many, many families have one child of a different race with wonderful results for all the children in the family.

Originally Posted by shellysarita

I am wondering if anyone only adopted one child and already has bio kids.....my dh has said we will only adopt one child but I am concerned for this future child and how she will feel being the only person of another race in our family. I am concerned over nothing?
Shelly

[sing4Him4]

Yes, we adopted one and have 4 bio children (2 boys and 2 girls) between us. The only thing preventing us from adopting again is the finances. If that wasn't a concern I would do it in a heartbeat. Ian will technically be raised as an only child because the other kids live with their other parents and they are older. But he sure loves them and gets to see them often.

Best wishes to you!

[2nd time round]

We have two sons and our adopted daughter. She came home at 3 1/2. She is sooooo happy and loved. She obviously knows she is adopted and she knows a lot of other children in our neighborhood, church and school system are adopted as well. She doesn't feel out of place at all. Your child won't either, given love and the same attention you give your others. Good luck!!!!

[LMG]

We have two bio daughters, ages 6 and 3, and we have requested a boy to adopt. I have the same fears the original poster mentioned and it was nice to read the different responses from everyone.

[Pizzamoma2004]

Our 24 year old daughter is 5 foot 6, reddish brown hair and dark white skin (if there is such a thing). Our 21 year old son is 6 foot 5, lighter brown hair and fair white skin. Our 2 year old son is extremely tall for his age, blonde haired and medium complexion. They're all bio. Anna our one year old, adopted from Guatemala of course is very petite, beautiful olive skin and black hair. Today it just so happened that our 2 year old mentioned that Anna has black hair and so does Daddy. He then said, "Luke has black hair." When I told him and then showed him in the mirror that he had blonde hair he was devastated. He wants black hair too. Is he too young for Grecian? Oh, and my hair is the typical 44 year old brown hair that has highlights to cover up that never ending crop of gray. Everyone of our kids is different and I never want to take away from that and hope that they're all the same. That's what makes our family as interesting as it is, not only our quirky personality differences. We want Anna to be proud of her differences, not worried about them.
PS. Our 21 year old son that's 6 foot 5 said he'd do anything to have Anna's genes and not be so tall. We got a kick out of that one.

[csw]

Hi
Our son is 14 and has jet black hair and med. complexion..we are both blonde and blue eyed..aside from comments from total strangers on the street like " Is he yours?" or "His father must be dark" and lately in middle school a kid told him "Go back to Mexico"..we haven't had any problems with the transracial issues..
We started at a very young age discussing adoption...he would ask why his skin is brown and ours is white..

I would suggest finding a Guatemala playgroup in your area..we actually have 2 families within 10 miles with girls her same age from Guatemala..and also see if there is a Latin Amercian Parents Association in your area. Go to GAFE and other events..go to Hispanic festivals...we instill a tremendous sense of pride in his heritage..we have ton's of artifacts from his country proudly displayed..teach Spanish etc..
Our daughter is only 25 months..but again..we go to LAPA events when we can..we have lots of Guatemalan crafts in her room...
We were dreading the teenage years (other than the hormonal issues) with him because adopted kids can go through a harder time with identity issues..who am I..why was I placed for adoption (esp. when only 2 of the 8 kids were placed)..he does some strange things..like writing his birth initials on his arm with a Sharpie..I asked him if he wanted to change his name and he said no..we went through his box of things from when he was a baby lately..artifacts from his country, journals..the clothes he was brought to us in...I cried..he was fine and brought some of the things up to his room to display..
Try to be involved with different groups/activities and instill a sense of pride of their heritage..try not to worry too much..