[Heidil87]

We have a bio son and Mary Lynn. She isn't old enough to tell us how SHE feels yet but she is TREATED like the most special person on the planet! We just tell her she is our gift from God just like our son was. They just came in different packages. I hope that she will never feel out of place but all we can do is love her and help her feel good about herself and how she came to be a member of our family.
I love this photo because I feel like it is one that is truly worth a 1000 words. It tells how our son feels about his sister.

[Pamsko]

We have a bio dd who is 11 (soon to be 12)...we adopted two boys from Guatemala, but our reasoning had nothing to do with them being "different" but had to do with age...I never wanted to have an only child, but circumstances dictated that. When we looked into adopting just one more child, we found out that, emotionally, we would end up having two "only" children due to the big gap in their ages, they would never be able to share the interests and activities that siblings closer in age would enjoy...so, we adopted two. They are 11 months apart...a handful at this age, but even now, they play together and you can see their affection for each other. My dd dotes on her brothers and it has really matured her in learning to care for others in the family and to share, etc.

Good luck in your decision...but in the end, whatever is "right" for your family is going to be right for the child.

[bjmom]

We have two bio sons who look very much alike - fair skin, blonde hair, and we are adopting a baby girl who is a shade or two darker than us w/black hair. At this point, we don't plan to adopt another, but that could always change. We plan to embrace her differences and focus on the fact that she is special b/c she's the only girl in the family, not simply b/c she's the adopted child.

Also, I have Spanish ancestry, and my husband's great-great grandmother was full-blooded Cherokee, although to look at us, you'd never be able to tell.

[Yelena]

We're only adopting one child. I'd like to adopt another because, well, I'd love to have more than one, but also because I want her to have a sibling closer to her age. Unfortunately our finances simply won't allow for more than one. We're pushing it as it is.

My 3 stepdaughters are almost grown. The oldest one is leaving for college in less than 3 weeks, and the younger girls are 14 and 16. They're very active in school and with friends, and they only live with us part-time anyway. By the time our new daughter is old enough to be aware that she has 3 sisters, they'll probably be out of the house anyway. So, for all intents and purposes, our adopted child will be an only child.

As for race, it's not really an issue as far as appearances go because my stepdaughters are half Puerto Rican (from their mom) and half Caucasian -- they each got a different combination of the genes, so they all look to be of a different ethnicity! Hannah got dad's fair coloring with straight blonde hair and blue eyes; Mary got the dark hair but she has pale skin; and Celina was blessed with to-die-for olive skin with super curly honey blonde hair.

I am a Western European mutt, and I've been told that I look Spanish, French (what does French look like?!), Armenian, and Middle Eastern. I have dark hair, fair skin and hazel eyes. I've heard people say that I look more like the girls' mother than their bio mother does -- she looks 100% Puerto Rican, but her daughters look very Caucasian, like their dad and me.

Maybe I'm naive, but I'm not too worried about the race thing. That's probably because I live in the Los Angeles area where no one bats an eye at someone who's "different." Everyone in LA is different!

[jlcoffey1274]

I think I had the same concerns for a second in the beginning..... (I have a 5.5 yr old blond blue eyed and fair skinned little girl, I am dark hair, olive (very tan) skin, hazel eyes and her dad has dark brown hair and eyes... her step dad has blond hair blue eyes.... like her~we get questions. all the time)
I believe that it is up to the family to make the child/ any child see that they belong to the family and the community....and to realize their uniqueness as a individual. Whether as a blond blue eyed 5'4 little man or a Italian looking 6' Irish woman... Adopted or not.. we have to teach them tolerance, acceptance, compassion etc. They learn from us and project just that. If you teach them that they are unique, adopted or not... they will feel that and know no difference. School age kids make fun of eachother if they have a bad hair cut, moles on their face, long fingers, failed on making the cheerleading squad... etc... so teaching all or our children how to deal with "societys" bullies is very important... enforcing their special individualities is very very important.... the fact is people are going to notice, comment our of good, concern, ignorance.... I feel its what you do with it from there!!! Good luck! did I go off on a tangent...