[SweetMoody]

Ok this is complicated:



I have 2 stepsons. They are also my husband’s stepsons, because he is not their biological father, although they were born while he was married to his wife. We have limited visitation but they are very important to us. We do not pay child-support because neither of us are legal guardians, their bio-dads pay.



Our adoption agency said they are going to be considered extended family. Our homestudy SW didn’t interview them because they do not live here. But in the homestudy report she had a paragraph about them entitled “Adoptive Siblings”. I told the sw I was concerned about them being included as “siblings” because I am not sure if we will then be required to provide all the documentation about them (doctors report, pictures, homestudy interview, fingerprints, etc).



Unfortunately I did not get much of an answer and I am still left scratching my head. I know this is a long shot but does anyone have any idea how this should be handled? The thought of redoing everything is pretty daunting, not to mention maybe impossible because my husband’s ex would do anything she could to block our ability to do these steps.



Thanks so much to who ever managed to read through this drama which is my life. LOL

[Kimberj71]

wow....I think you are right to be concerned about them being called adoptive siblings. Couldn't the social worker say "ex wife's children" or something to that effect? Especially if they don't live in the house with you on a regular basis.

Good luck and good job on thinking proactively on this one!

Kim

[Yelena]

...although our situation is a little more clearcut -- my stepdaughters are my husband's biochildren, and we have 50% physical and legal custody of them.

In our case, we had to provide medical letters only on the two younger girls (14 & 16) because they will be living with us (part time) and treated in reality and on paper as siblings. They didn't have to be fingerprinted because they're under 18. My oldest stepdaughter is 18, but because she will be moving away for college long before the adoption is final, she was not factored in to any of the paperwork. We did not need to provide medical info or fingerprints because she won't be living with us. The only thing that our SW wanted regarding the oldest daugther was to meet her.

It seems strange that anything would be required at all from your stepsons, especially because they don't live with you. After all, they don't require such documentation or fingerprinting from grandparents, either (at least not in our case!). Definitely clarify this with your agency/SW, but in the long run it's best to do what they say. They know better than we do what may or may not be acceptable to the Guatemalan authorities.

Good luck!

[annaguat]

Hello, I would definitely ask the social worker to change the wording. At the same time maybe it is no big deal if she clearly states that the boys do not live with you. I have an adult son at college and he is described as one of our children but did not need physicals etc. and it said he lived at college. Hope it will all come together. We had our own odds and ends with the home study writ eup. Hugs, Anna

[Newsie]

I think you should ask your agency what you should do. The SW probably doesn't know what is specifically required for Guatemala.

In our case my stepson and stepdaughter did not have to be fingerprinted, doc letter, etc because they are away at college.

I think it would depend on what you mean by "limited visitation". If they are there for a good part of the time you may have to have all the paperwork done for them. But ask your agency...

[SweetMoody]

LOL alot of good advice! I thought no one would have anything to say. Makes me feel better that it looks like we arent the only ones facing this type of situation.

By limited visitation I mean 2 hours a week and 1-2 weekends a month. In texas, even tho my husband is very close to them and they call him daddy, he had no legal rights. The visitation was agreed upon by the ex so it isnt great. I guess she spells out the details of the visitation in that section but I will ask my agency to make note of the term "siblings" and consider if that could cause delays in Guate.

Thanks everyone soooooooooo much, I was feeling sick with worry about this one.