[josiah1112]

I would love to visit my future Hopeful son during
Labor Day Weekend. Would this be too early?
At what point is it pretty "safe" that the birthmom
will not change her mind?

[coachmom]

you have to check with your agency on that one. Some do and some don't.

Doretta

[marie2005]

Our agency wouldn't allow us to visit until after DNA match. We are also adopting a 2-yr-old. In our case, the mother made the adoption plan at birth (long story on why she wasn't adopted earlier), so we felt pretty confident she wasn't going to change her mind after such a long time, though I guess actually having a couple start the adoption process may have triggered some rethinking. Congrats on your referral.

[bjmom]

Our agency allows you to visit after DNA has been taken and there's a match. That seems to be the policy w/many agencies.

[momofmng]

You may want to check with your agency to see what they say. Most people wait until after DNA has been done to go and visit so that the bmom has seen the baby again and signed off and things seem to be progressing.

I understand your wanting to go and visit as soon as possible. Our little girl was 10 weeks old when we visited and it was wonderful! But, we did already have our DNA and results back by then.

Good luck with the travel plans!

Sarah

[smmars]

Us too. Our agency doesn't allow visiting until after they receive the dna results. We were allowed to visit Matthew right after he turned 3 months old.

[Devora]

In addition to checking with your agency about whether they allow visits before the DNA match, make sure that if you visit early and can only visit once that you're prepared for a long wait then until you see the baby again. I don't know how a person knows if they can handle that without going through it, but it's something to think about. I knew that it would be very hard to leave our son (and it was more painful then I even imagined) so we intentionally waited to visit until we were about to be entered into PGN. I could not have handled going through most of the process having seen him and not being with him.

However, we did see a lot of people who were visiting at the same time as we were who had tiny, tiny babies. So obviously there's not one right answer -- everyone has to figure out what works best for them. But I do think it's helpful to think about the long haul and how you think you will handle it.

Best wishes,
Devora

[jpfister]

The Birthmom has until the final signoff, which is after your case is out of PGN, to change her mind. It CAN happen, take it from me, although I believe that it does not happen very often.

As far as visiting, that is completely regulated by your Agency and Attorney.

Good Luck with your process.

[josiah1112]

Thank you for the input. I have been informed
that I can not visit until after DNA. This may be
a blessing in disguise...since the wait I'm positive
will seem like an eternity...not to mention the risk
of the birthmom changing her mind.