[DenhamLady]

Thank God for my forum family.

I don't know what I would do without you guys!

It seems like every time I talk to a family member (except for my grown children- who think it's great!) about the girls- I get:

Are you SURE you want to do this?
You raised your kids, why do you want to go through THAT again?
Is there something wrong with them?
Can you cange your mind? (WHAT???)

No one asks if I've gotten updated pictures, how they are doing, when they will come home- nothing...
unless I bring it up and then I end up down in the dumps. I should learn.

I'm not asking THEM for money or to babysit. NOTHING!
Why can't they just at least ACT happy?

Sorry, I just needed to vent.

PS Anybody going late July/early August for a visit?
I looks like I will be visiting alone.

[jennbell]

I am sorry that you are not getting more support from your family. My mother's words were the same "Are you sure you want to do this?"

[A_ROSE024]

I am sorry too. We get comments all the time from our extended family. After almost 5 years of ttc, we announced that we were starting to look into adoption. Most of the responses we got were along the lines of "don't you think its too soon? You guys are still so young! When the time is right, you'll get pregnant!" and my favorite "just wait and see, as soon as you get that baby home you will get pregnant and you will have your hands full!"

I just smile and say God had another plan for us, and if I do get pregnant, great, at least my kids will be close in age!

[dj29again]

Arline,

Hang in there! You know those girls are so beautiful and such miracles. It is truly a blessing to have them and you once again will be a great mother. There are some odd people in this world and I am just sorry you had to come into contact with them. But just stay focused on HOW AMAZING this is...don't let them burst your bubble. They aren't worth it! I am thinking of going to GC 8/14 ish. If you are there we can meet...

[wvamom]

My mom was the same way--she said, don't you think you have enough on your plate with a job and three kids? But the minute she saw Joseph it was love at first sight, and now she is his biggest fan. I'll bet your family will come around, too.
Carolyn

[brinawynne]

I just don't understand people. Why can't they just be supportive of this wonderful desicion that you made?! I am sooo sorry! But hey, consider your forum friends your forum family and you'll get all the "family" support you need!

[judybwise]

I think I can identify with you on this one! Having three bio children that are practically grown (one really is!) Everyone kept asking me "Why would you want to do this when you are almost free again?" At first, it really hurt me because I thought if these people really know me, then they should understand that more than anything in this world "I LOVE BEING A MOTHER!!!" I think it is the most wonderful gift God can bestow on a woman to raise another human being and help to mold their life into something meaningful and with purpose. I finally realized sometimes these remarks came from selfish hearts that really wanted "freedom" themselves and then sometimes it came from a complete lack of understanding how someone could love a child that did not come from one's own genetic make-up. Fear also plays a role in other people's thoughts. I finally decided to let actions speak louder than words. I wouldn't ry to explain myself or our family's dreams, but only live them out and let other people see WHY this is so important. It has been a 3 1/2 year ordeal and this really gives people the opportunity to discuss how "strange" it is that we've put ourselves through this. However, I am determined to let God show them His love through us and this child. Maybe someday they will understand. We can't let them get to us!

[magict]

My family acted the same way, I had lost my only child in a tragic car accident after a year of being alone I decided to adopt. My family told me they wanted nothing to do with it I heard all kinds of horror stories I went to visit alone & went for pick up alone. My parents did not see one photo of the baby nor did they ask. I have been home with Madison now for almost 8 mos. and they are crazy about her every single one of them. They changed their tune once they seen her.....you have to do what you feel is right in your heart & your family will come around.

[Jaime Christine]

If they won't be excited for you, surround yourself with people who are! I keep expecting certain people to finally get excited our little girl and I need to just accept that they just aren't and won't be and to stop disappointing myself.

I hope you lean on your grown children ... you sound lucky to have such supportive children (or young adults!!)

[CarolShep]

Hey!

I am sorry your feel this way. I had some choice comments from my Mom at first myself. But she has been wonderful now.

Hopefully I will be in Guatemala for a visit trip July 21-24?

When were you planning on going?

[brandydawn]

So sorry you are experiencing this...it is most hurtful when it is family that makes comments like this.

I am a bit shocked that you are still getting them after you have received your referral and have pictures and info.

Some of my family was unsure at first but once everyone knew who our daughter was going to be that changed.

Hang in there....once you have your babies home I am sure everyone will be in love and will understand why.

Regards,
Brandy

[mac308]

I'm sorry that your family isn't as suppportive as you would like/ or supportive at all for that matter. I think once you have your girls home and they can really connect with them everything will change!! It's too bad they can't be of more support when you need it. Good luck. I'm thinking of you.

Megan

[curlyqgyrl]

Ya know..my step mom was kind of like that..and I found for the most part it was that she was scared. She was scared we would be taken advantage of, have a bogus agency, lose a ton of money, and most of all get hurt. Once everyone sees your beautiful child and realize what an angel they are...I think comments will change

[grammieann]

Arline:

I don't think you should worry too much, as soon as you have the babies home and everyone gets to meet them, I know that their hearts will melt. How can they not--they are so beautiful!

My daughter has been home from Guatemala with her 7 month old son "Connor" since June 21st and everyone that has met him has fallen completely in love with him.

Good Luck!


Ann

[DenhamLady]

Thank you everyone for all your encouragement.

I couldn't take it anymore. I had a long "heart to heart" with my parents today. I explained again in much more detail the adoption process and why I am adopting and that YES I am SURE this is what I want to do.

It turns out that they were pretty clueless- even though I THOUGHT I had explained it all before. They were mainly focusing on how my adoption might impact THEIR lives if something were to happen to me. They didn't understand that the girls would be provided for and that they wouldn't have to be financially responsible for them on their limited budget. Now that THAT part is cleared up, they seem to be coming around.

Now for my sister... I hope for the best, but expect nothing.