[lovelivvy]

Good Morning Everyone,
I don't know what is going on with this month? It must be a full moon every night that is stirring up emotions, but-I was FINALLY able to schedule a date for Livvys baptism-Not till August 14th!! She will be almost 10 months by then. There were no other openings. This was the same Church that would not allow me to schedule a date before I brought her home because they said it would be unfair to other families, if we did not get Livvy home at that point. I am fine with all this******* The reason I was upset was because when I went into the Church office yesterday with Livvy and my other daughter, the woman behind the desk (who I see at Church sometimes)-made the comment "That's not your baby-is it?" I told her-she sure is. Then she said, "What I meant is that - she is not really yours-she didn't come from you-right?" I told her she came to us through adoption, and we could not be happier.
So, after booking the date, another woman came in and waited for me to get done. As soon as I walked out the first door, (there are a double set of doors you walk through)-I heard the receptionist tell the other woman "She tried to pass that one off as her own"-then they started laughing. **I think I was in shock. I did not know what to do,and I did not want to start any arguments in front of my 10 year old. Of all places, to get a rotten comment-my church. What is this world coming to? I said a prayer last night for extra strength to help me out in these situations. I was not even going to post, but I like to hear how alot of other people handle these comments.
THanks,
Tracy

[mac308]

To tell you the truth, I don't know what I would have done. My mouth is still hanging open from reading your experience! I cannot believe people would say such a thing. I know others have discouraged about changing churches, but honestly I don't know how you can deal with that! I think it needs to be brought someone elses attention in the church.

Megan

[Paige in FL]

Tracy,


I'm so sorry that happened to you! It's totally unacceptable from anyone, but to come from church "staff"? Is there another church nearby that you could switch to? Is there someone you can make a formal complaint to?

Church should be a place of refuge, not hurt!

Oh well, just remember that person that made the comment is obviously not a happy person, and that you are the blessed one walking out the door with your two young treasures.

I always figure someone that awful must be a very miserable person.

Paige

[lovelivvy]

We got to that Church because my daugher goes to the Catholic school, which is right next to it. I would hate to leave the parrish, with her still going to the school-and I would hate to pull her out of the school, since she loves it so much. She was pulled out in Pennsylvania, when we moved to FLorida, and then again, to the current school, when we moved for the last time. I just feel like talking to someone at the Diocease, but I try to let things go-I don't want one woman messing up my life-but this one, I am pondering-I think I am just still in shock.

[tookie12]

**I heard the receptionist tell the other woman "She tried to pass that one off as her own"-then they started laughing. **

That is when you walk back through those doors and say
"and YOU are trying to pass yourself off as a CHRISTIAN?
what a joke YOU are!"

[Vicki H]

Wow. I have read your other posts and I don't know how you keep it together so well. You have received some horrible comments from others. I am shocked that people can be so horribly insensitive.

Your baby is just beautiful!


Vicki

[JohnnaMJH]

I am as shocked as everyone else. What a *XHDJK$&% COW!!!

You should not have to leave the Parish. That woman should be warned, threatened with termination and issue a formal apology to you.

That is horrid and as a fellow Catholic, I am embarassed for our Church.

JohnnaMJH

[foxl]

I think you definitely need to go to the diocese, and I also think that SOMEONE needs to educate the staff to adoption and OTHER sensitivity training! I am sure anyone so insensitive is bound to hurt others with sensitive situations, as well ... and needs to be stopped, before they do!

That is a harsh one, and I am sorry for her life issues but she sounds like a poor fit for her job!!!

[dpen6]

WOW......that was ruder then rude. As an adoptee, I often read other forums and read about some of the comments. This has got to be one of the worst. Oten times when I read them I can't help but think it is coming from someone that really does not know any better and just needs to be told. But this one was just plain mean!!

I would write a letter to the pastor and one to the clerk. I would right down whar was said.....how it was said and the feelings you got out of it. I would then demand an apology and state that no family deserves to be laughed at no matter how they came about.....mention how it was said in front of your 10 year old.

Sorry you had to endure this.....this person will go recieve holy communion and think they are the holiest of holeist...grrrr....

[drazil65]

I am so sorry for you (your daughter is just beautiful) but I do not think you can let this go. Talk to someone in the church as you do not want (nor should you have to) to leave but these are the people you will be exposing your children to. At some point one of or both of your children will be subject to overhearing some comment and it will be so hurtful to them. I personally would have turned around and asked them if there was something they needed to say or talk about with you (maybe would have asked the 10 year old to take the baby out into the hallway away from the conversation). I think you have endured enough comments and need to obviously take care of it somehow. Good luck with this situation.

[Mom4Nicholas]

Congratulations on keeping your composure. I could not have done it. I would complain or confront the people. But, I like to get closure so that I don't stew!

[delaware1]

Surely your daughter is not the only adopted child at this church. You really need to say something to someone, or write a short note to the woman who made the remark explaining how it sounded to you, and why it was hurtful.
feel better-
Kathleen

[mksilvermoon]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE speak to the priest of that church and make him aware of what is going on - it's NOT ok that this woman is making these comments to you - let him speak with her - heaven only knows what else she is saying to other people who could do without her opinion! It's hard but if you want to remain in this particular church (and why should YOU move!) then something has to be said to her

am thinking of you

[BebitosMama]

First, I'm sorry that you had to overhear that. I truly wonder if this is a good Church for you, as it sounds as if it's administratively disorganized, and not very oriented toward parishioners. But..that aside...

I really think that you should bring this to the attention of whoever runs your parish, a priest, monsignor, etc?

I mean, come on...

Catholicism's "Holy Family" is an adoptive family... After all, Joseph "adopted" Jesus, so to speak, and raised him as his own.

Would Miss Church Know-it-all have said, "well, that Joseph is going around trying to pass of that Jesus as his OWN..."

This is a church, not a 7-11 or a Wal-mart. This is where the concept of building and supporting family, caring for those who can't care for themselves, Christian charity, and understanding are expected...

I mean, you are bringing a child in to be baptized into this church. In the church family, when you baptize a child in front of the congregation, in a way, that child becomes everyone's responsibility...they will all have to claim her as their "own" in a way!!This ignorant woman is in a position where she can influence people's opinions of the church, even, God forbid, their faith. It would be horrible if her attitude drove anyone away from the church. Imagine what she would say if some Latinos came to join the church?

She is in a position to do a lot of damage...

Her superiors deserve to know this.

If you need help writing a letter, let us know. We can help you draft it here on the forum.

[Barbiescraps]

I dont know what I would have done! I think I would have flown off the handle with that last comment she made. I probably would have turned around and said 'Excuse me, did you just say what I think you said;? THEN, i would have informed her of my intent to contact the head of the church (not the pastor) and complain about the rude comments she made to me and my family...ugh...
UGH........
Hang in there......