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#1
06-07-2005, 08:00 PM
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Lost Referral
Well, I read about many couples losing their referrals and now it's happened to us. About 3 hours ago, we were notified that the referral of our 3 1/2 year old girl was taken away. We've had her pictures posted everywhere in our house for over TWO MONTHS!!! I am truely devastated. Our agency guaranteed me that this was a case that it would never happened to. The ** was 100% sure that she wanted this adoption. Well---apparently the **'s mother was raising the little girl and the ** took her and put her up for adoption. The GM just found out and caused a huge ruckus to fight and get her back. I know you're not supposed to become too attached to a referral, but after two months I thought this was a done deal. We were even in family court. I don't think I'll ever get this little girl's face out of my mind. She was sooooo beautiful. The agency even sent me a video of her. She's just precious!
How do you get over something like this and go on to another referral?? I just can't see how another child will be able to replace this one that I've been fantaizing about for two months now. I've been crying all evening and I'm probably not going to sleep tonight. Thanks for reading about my heartache. DeAnn
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DNA Authorization 7/12/05 DNA taken 7/18/05 DNA passed!!!! 7/21/05 Out of FC 9/05 203 days of waiting for pre-approval!! Being investigated  10/4/05Visit trip 11/20-11/25 Birth Mom interviewed 1/12/06 PRE-APPROVAL!!!!!!!!! 2/14/06!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Entered PGN 2/15/06--YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Out of PGN 3/1/06--UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BC 3/20/06 PINK..3/28!!!!  E appt. 4/4/06!!!!!!!!!!! Home!!!!! 4/6/06!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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Guatemala Adoption Information
Guatemala Websites
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#2
06-07-2005, 08:12 PM
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I am so terribly sorry, DeAnn! I don't know how you get over it. I don't think another referral will "replace" this little girl that will always be in your heart, but I do think that you will move on and accept a new referral that is meant for you. I'm sure it's hard to believe right now. I am thinking of you and I hope you come to peace with this. Take care.
Megan
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#3
06-07-2005, 08:16 PM
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DeAnn,
I am so sorry to hear this. I will keep you in my prayers.
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Kathleen, aka "Punkyboo" 8/9/05 Accepted referral Home 1/10/06 
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#4
06-07-2005, 08:22 PM
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Oh DeAnn I am so sorry. I can only imagine how devastated you are. I hope others who have lost referrals can offer some words and wisdom and help assure you that the pain will eventually fade.
I'll keep you in my prayers.
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#5
06-07-2005, 08:29 PM
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I am so sorry DeAnn! Who said that you shouldn't get attached to a referral? How can you not??? I will pray for you during this heartache of yours.
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Roxanne Sarah DOB 7/9/2004 Accepted Referral 7/29/2004  Home forever 7/21/2005 Accepted Baby Boy Referral 7/11/2005 Samuel DOB 8/8/2005 Home forever 8/11/2005
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#6
06-07-2005, 08:36 PM
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So sorry to hear this happened. I PM'd you...
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www.babysalas.blogspot.com Lost Referral4/1/05 Referral 4/5/05 DNA Auth 4/14/05 DNA Approv: 4/25/05 Preapp 5/18/05 PGN 5/24/05 Out PGN 6/2/05 BC rec'd 6/27/05 PINK 7/1/05 Travel 7/6/05 DOB: 7/6/06-(Big Sister's Gotcha Day!) Accepted Referral 7/12/06 DNA Authorized: 7/24/06 DNA Taken: 7/27/06 DNA Match: 8/8/06 Preapproval: 8/30/06 SWI: 9/18/06 Not sure when exited FC PGN: 10/16 KO: 10/18 (Issue with Birth Mother's BC) Resubmitted 11/24 Second KO: 1/4/2007  Re-submitted 1/11/2007 O U T: 3/1/2007 Submitted for Pink: 3/14/07 PINK: 3/21/07 Embassy Appt: 4/16/07 http://www.clipshack.com/Clip.aspx?key=72EB9F274A41F14D  
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#7
06-07-2005, 08:36 PM
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I am so sorry to hear your news. Hopefully others on this forum who have also lost referrals will be able to offer some words of comfort and help you through this hard time. Again, I am sorry.
__________________
Mommy to my beautiful little Ethan born in Guatemala on 5/3/04 Referral 7/6/04 Seven long hard months in PGN Home sweet home 7/14/05!!!!! Referral 9/14/07 of precious baby girl born 9/3/07! 10/5/07 DNA results received from Agency! 11/11/07 Agency advised us that on 11/09/07 our PA was issued and that our case also exited Family Court that day! 11/16/07 Entered PGN! 12/8/07 Agency called to let us know WE ARE OUT OF PGN!!!!! Our BABY GIRL WILL SOON BE HOME!!!!!
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#8
06-07-2005, 08:38 PM
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DeAnn,
I am so sorry to hear that you lost this little girl. We experienced the loss of a referral as well and I can promise you, you will get through it. Just give your heart time to heal. Like you, we had pictures everywhere and to this day I still have them. I will never get rid of them because that child still holds a special place in my heart. I hope and pray he has a good life and that he is doing well. You are in our prayers. Jenn
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12/18/04 ITS A BOY!!! 01/06/05 Referral accepted  01/27/05 DNA taken  02/02/05 DNA match 99.94% 02/22/05 Preapproval 02/28/05 Out of Family Court!!  03/07/05 In PGN 03/17/05 KO#1  03/28/05 Re-enter PGN WOOOHOOOO! 04/21/05 Out of PGN 04/26/05 Birth Certificate Issued 04/27/05 Submitted for PINK 05/03/05 Pink! 05/04/05 Embassy 05/06/05 Home forever! 10/20/05 Readoption day! Today: Loving my son...
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#9
06-07-2005, 08:40 PM
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sorry....
I am soo soo sorry. I cannot imagine your pain. Your grief is real, and let yourself feel it. But also try to think that somehow there is a bigger plan that we are not aware of. You will get another referral, and may God bless you again with another beautiful child soon. God bless.
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Referral 3/27/05 Wonderful visit 4/27/05 DNA match 99.99%!!! 5/20 In FC for 8 months!!! Preapproval 6/24 Enter PGN 11/11 Exit PGN 12/21/05 !!!! 1/2/06 BC received 1/4/06 BC submitted for pink PINK 1/10/06 HOME FOREVER 1/20/06
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#10
06-07-2005, 08:40 PM
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Oh DeAnn I am so sorry. I can only imagine how devastated you are. I hope others who have lost referrals can offer some words and wisdom and help assure you that the pain will eventually fade.
I'll keep you in my prayers.
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#11
06-07-2005, 08:43 PM
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I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
God bless, Lisa
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Ava Born 1/4/2005 Home 7/22/2005   
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#12
06-07-2005, 08:44 PM
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I feel so sad for you! Please know that I'm holding you close in thoughts and prayers!
Treasures <><
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#13
06-07-2005, 08:52 PM
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I am so sorry to read about your loss tonight. I haven't been in your shoes, but I can feel your pain through your words. I know others here who have been through the same heartache and I know they'll be reaching out to you in the days ahead. I pray that God will comfort you and see you through this and that somehow you'll be able to look back one day and understand "why". I don't think you'll ever replace the little girl in your heart, and noone expects you to. You will be in my prayers and I hope you feel better soon.
Judy
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#14
06-07-2005, 09:37 PM
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Sorry for your loss. Let yourself mourn her and just try to get through each day. You can soothe yourself by knowing GM must love her very much and you will soon be blessed with a little one that has no one and needs you to love her even more. I wil keep you in my prayers!
Becky
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mom to three bios ages 23, 21, 17 Aliya-15 months-our guatemalan angel! Referral- 7-29-05 Home 12-02-05
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#15
06-07-2005, 09:46 PM
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DeAnn -
I'm SO sorry. I can't even begin to understand what you're going through. I hope that you give your time to understand what happens, but keep moving forward! The right child is there for you. Good luck. Lynn
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02/03/05 - Accepted Referral (Boy)! 07/15/05 - HOME!!! And again... 02/03/07 Accepted Referral (another Boy)! 09/14/07 - HOME!!!
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