[jt421_2000]

Ok here we go... Beautiful day yesterday so I thought I would walk to get my daughter (7) from school. Kenna is in the stroller with all the neighbrhood kids fighting who gets to push her. They were a 1/2 block ahead of me with a woman and 2 little girls I did not know. As I caught up I hear or thought I heard her say "Did you buy her ?" I ignored her I knew I had to miss hear that one. But no....she asked again and I ignored her again. Then she asked if I was fostering or did I adopt her. I answered we adopted her. Very short. She went on saying how she did not think she was from China because of her eyes. Then told me how she looked Indian. I ansered she was probally Mayan. Now she goes on telling how she sold her house and they are moving West THANK GOD!!!! Look out to you that are in the west.

FF to last night when Jordan our 7 year old says she is glad we bought a family. At 7 she is learning about being PC on adoption terms, something some alduts cannnot grasp.

[PattyR]

Some people!

I would have been so tempted to ask her if she bought her brain because I think she needs to send it back for a refund!

Of course, that would not have been nice but I can't get over how rude some people can be. Sorry you were unlucky enough to run into her.

[BriellesDad]

"did you buy her"...ya know, stuff like this is really gonna chap my behind. Im not the most patient person when it comes to stupid people and I just KNOW Im gonna go off on someone over Brielle. Some little ol' lady at the grocery store is gonna say something stupid to me and Im gonna let her have it. I don't mean to, but I just cant stand stupid ignorant people.

You handled yourself with grace and dignity, I think. Far better than I would have.

[BriellesDad]

Originally Posted by PattyR

Some people!

I would have been so tempted to ask her if she bought her brain because I think she needs to send it back for a refund!

Now THAT was funny, Patty.

[lovelivvy]

Cheer up,
I just keep looking at all these rude comments coming from uneducated people-uneducated in the adoption process-that is. I posted the other day that when I went to pick my 10 year old up from school, I took Livvy with me. All the moms were oohing and awwing over her-except the one bad apple who stepped in the middle of the circle and announced out loud "wow-is she dark!"-I mean-what the heck does that have to do with anything? Plus, I am an olive skinned Italian woman with dark hair and eyes-so she must be thinking I am dark too!!! All the other moms were appaled at this comment-which made me feel good too-knowing that this bad apple really made the fool out of herself.
Tracy

[wvamom]

How about "Wow, you mean you can buy babies? I wish I'd known that. That would have been so much easier than what we went through to adopt her!"

My goodness--I don't know if I'm allowed to say this on the forum, but some people just seem to have "diarrhea of the mouth"--they just run on without thinking a thing about what they're saying.

How lucky your daughter is to have you and not that woman for a parent!

[geekster]

I don't know what is so difficult to understand but many people have this nonsense in their heads. My mom said that her friend (now of 60 years) made a statement to her about them buying a baby when I was a baby. Now, FF to about a year ago. We were about to go out to eat with some "family friends" and one asked us about DD and how she was doing as we dressed her etc... We responded with that she is a handful (which she is) and can successfully bring 2 adults to their knees on demand. We all laughed except this one who said "Your the one who bought a baby". I didn't believe what I was hearing and asked What did you say? Very sharply and she repeated it. I have not spoken to her since. I didn't even bother trying to educate. FORGET IT! That is the hardest of all the ignorant statements!

[Guatemom]

I never "get over" hearing these ignorant statements people make. And usually from people who have bio kids--so this lets me know they are TEACHING their children ignorance and prejudice. I want to add 1 of my 'fav' ignorant stmts I was told about Connor--
'he's cute for a mexican'
Yep, that's what this person said to me!!! I just about fell out of my seat. I regained my composure enough to stand up & royally rip them a new one & 'educate' them that he was MAYAN, not Mexican (not that there is anything wrong with being Mexican-but if you're going to slander, at least get the ethnicity right).
Lord, help me/us with these awful, hurtful people who harbor unfair bias towards our beautiful, innocent children!

[drworm]

Ha, that was a good one. Were these people raised by wolves, or what?

I've noticed that adoption comments really seem to be tone and situation specific--I've received a few remarks that wouldn't look that great in print, but were honestly made in an attempt to get more information. I have been very lucky not to get anything truly nasty (yet) like you did--and given my temper, I'm sure heads will roll when I do.

How can someone slam a baby, anyway? Sheesh.

pam

[VirginiaMom2Be]

I had a contract employee in my office the other day. He's a senior level person. He's asking about my daughter and looking at all the pictures I have posted of her in her Easter outfit. He says, "I hope you don't take this the wrong way (uh-oh!), but she looks like Tatoo from Fantasy Island. He was Mexican or something".

OMG! My daughter is 10 months and adorable. I guess he zeroed in on her big smile, skin tone and stature! Lord have mercy!

Liz

[huganangel]

People can be so ignorant! You really handled it with such patience! I tend to be sarcastic. If someone asked me if I bought my daughter, I'd have to say, "Yeah, and she was on sale!" On another note, I have had a few people very sincerely and kindly ask me if she is chinese. When I said, "No, she's mayan," one woman thought I said "she's MINE" and asked if my husband was chinese. I couldn't help but break into laughter!

[foxl]

I think people who are saying that are curious about IA (and maybe not for doing it themselves), have heard negative things about IA (and not our children!), and just do not GET IT that it can be a reputable and ethical way of building a family. I guess we need to tell them that, point blank!

Linda,
whose son is Mayan, AND Mine!

[heikkila]

I don't respond to most rude comments, but I generally respond to the "buying" or "how much did she cost" comments. I make it clear that we did not buy Gabby, because buying children is illegal. Any money we spent on her adoption was to pay for her care (like any parent does) and attorney fees to process the adoption in court.

I work in a high school and so sometimes the person asking is a student. I really believe it is important to respond accurately and give them a clear understanding of a situation since they may not have much other experience with adoption and adoptive families.