[wwgonewest]

I don't know what else to do. Currently I spend way too much time staring at this forum hoping that you all are going to tell me what I want to hear most of all. I was just staring at the PGN list again and realized that Monday will mark 180 days in PGN. I am not sure I can take much more. Then I look at those ahead of me on the list, lockharts will be at 200 days on Monday and alesanto will be approaching 300. Why? Astra posted the most recent outs and they all entered PGN this year. Don't you think PGN would want to clear out those of us that have been in since last year? It just isn't fair.

Firends and co-workers have started to ask at what point you just give up, maybe start again. I told them that there is no such point. However, secretly I feel like I am reaching it. Don't get me wrong, I would never give up on my daughter, I am just tired and frustated. If there was anything I could do to bring her home, I would do it right now! But I sit and wait, and not so patiently. Please God, I need Your help. Get us through this PGN process soon! I don't have the strength to go on much longer. I need her home! Please let us out Monday.

Those of you that have been there so long too, Maybe if we all pray together, God will hear our plea. I am out of ideas and patience.

Thanks for letting me vent. Now all I do is cry.
Wendi

[kady2004]

I am so sorry you have been stuck this long... arghhhh this process is so unpredictable, it just never seems to be fair, some people are out and home in 3 months and others wait for a year or more... I have no wise words of wisdom but I can pray for all those who are beyond a reasonable time for waiting... try to hang in there, I know it doesn't seem possible now but your baby will be in your arms one day, I will continue to pray that its soon...
Hugs

[mary594]

I feel for you so much and I will send my prayers your way and to all the others that have been stuck for so long. I was lucky I got my daughter home last year at 4.5 months old. It actually only took 4 months from time of referral. I can remember freaking out especially when I got stuck in the pre approval back up and it took 6 weeks to get that. I remember my mother saying "this is ridiculous, she isn't going to be a baby when you get her home, why don't you start over" That was only after 3 months at that point. So I can only imagine what you go going thru.

This process makes you crazy no matter what stage you are in and I remember saying to my agency who do I have to pay off to get this child home. (of course I said it kiddingly, but secretly felt that way). At that point no one knows if it is going to be another day, week, month, or year. I think that is what makes it so hard. I had two friends pregnant at the time and I used to say, at least you have a date that you know you will have your baby.

Also it is normal to look at others and their timelines and yes some people do get their babies home in 3 months and even though you may be thrilled for them (or secretly not) it still hurts because you want that for yourself and this process just doesn't always seem right.

So as I always say stay strong, especially on this Mothers Day, because you are a mother and you will get your child home and it will be such a wonderful feeling. You will forget about all of this. It may not seem that way now but believe me you will.

Mary

[Hannah's Parent]

Wendi,

I know that what you feel must be our current feelings times 2. We hit the 100 day mark yesterday and have had the hardest time staying positive. I too look at the PGN waiter list in hopes that we will disappear from the list. Everytime I look I feel so bad for the people above us. I don't know why PGN can't start with the older cases and just sign off on them. As happy as I am for the people who are in and out of PGN in 3 weeks, it still hurts incredibly too much. I can honestly say that I would pay a bribe to be done and to have Hannah home. No amount of money is worth the hurt we are going through longing to have our child in our arms. With today being Mother's Day it magnifies that hurt. I just pray that PGN will be kind to those of you at the top of the list. You all have waited way too much.

Ed

[DPline]

I am so very sorry. I pray you have your daughter home with you very soon.

[themotheroffive]

We spent 6 horrible months in FC. I was so sad seeing other people go through the whole process in 4 months and we couldn't get out of FC in 6.

Why Why Why?
I like Fair. In kindergarten we spend a lot of time on Fair. I hate it that this whole process seems so unfair.
It just doestn' fit with kindergarten values like: share,
milk and cookies are a good thing, rest time is great, and be fair.

So PGN have some milk and cookies, take a short rest and let the top of the list OUT!

[dooleyangel]

I feel your sadness, I know your sadness...
The best thing I can do is pray for you..because it's in God's hands. This is what I did, I gave it up to God...AND kept in very close touch with my agency!!

[papito]

wendy i feel terrible for you and all of those in pgn jail.

take a break today, happy mother's day

[Annee]

My heart just goes out to you. I wish there was some way to make you feel better, but I know that we have no control over the one thing that will make you feel better.

I wonder if there's any way the attorneys could bring your case (and Lockhart's and Alesanto's and the others who've been waiting so very long) to the attention of the new PGN director. We've been hearing that he's fair and wants to straighten things out...this would be a wonderful step for him to take.

I hope it helps a little just to know how many of us who are part of this same journey are thinking about you and looking every day to see good news from you.

[girl#2]

To Wendi and all the others still waiting for a lonf time in PGN. I don't know what to say to comfort you. I wish I did.

I really beleive everyting will happen in its time. With our first adoption our Guat social worker got into a very serious car accidnt, crushed her pelvis and wad out of work for 4 1/2 months. All while we waited and Katie grew bigger ( I never did learn or unstabd why they couldn't re-assign our case.).

Several of our frinds brought home their children while we were still waiting, even though they started the entire adoption procress after us.

However, we finally got Katie home at about a year old and now she is a happy, bright 4 yr old. I have forgottenall the pain and heartache. So much so that we are in the process again, waiting since last Aughst for our girl #2!

I will prayer everyday that you all get home SOON!

Michelle aka girl#2

[wwgonewest]

I think Mother's Day was bothering me more than I thought. I have my son so I did not think it would bother me so much, but half of my children are not here. That hurts. I miss her so much. Maybe tomorrow will bring good news to all of us long time waiters.

Thanks again,
Wendi

[AMEN]

((((Wendi))))

You'll be in my prayers. We spent 7 months in PGN back in 2003--11 months from the time of referral until he finally made it home--and I remember just feeling like I wanted to die. I tried desperately to find a good reason why God was keeping me separated from my baby for so long, but never found one. It was sheer agony--worse than any infertility heartache I'd ever known.

But then...all of a sudden and out of the blue, you're baby will be home in your arms. I have *almost* forgotten that awful time of waiting for Isaac. I lost his first 12 months of babyhood, but he is such a joyful and happy little 2 year old now and I am the center of his universe and what happened in the past is in the past. I assure you that you will revel in the coming months and years you spend with your baby when he FINALLY does come home.

You and all those waiting in the PGN hell I know so well will be in my prayers! I hope you all get the call you want to hear this week!

~Annie
Mom to Isaac (b. 12/17/02)
home to US 12/16/03

[Princesa's Mama]

Wendi,
I feel for you! I have not been in quite as long as you, but much longer than I ever expected or wanted to be!! My arms are aching, as I know yours are, and I too wonder where my file is, and why are some people in for so little time and others languish in PGN forever? I pray that you will soon be posting, "OUT" with much joy!!

[purpleLulu]

Wendi, I don't know what to say. Here's a ((((hug)))).

[Nella]

Wendi,
It's been much too long already. You need to find someone to help you find out what's keeping up your case.
What is your agency doing about this ?Nothing ?
Well then it's time to take this matter into your own hands.
Write the Adoption Supervisors and ask them if they can help you.
I pray you get some info and get out soon.
This wait is so very painful.
Good Luck
nella
If I were you I would go to Guatemala and go to PGN with your attorney to see what the problem is. Please don't just sit back and wait.