[WaitingforJacob]

My husband and I are being told that gifts are necessary for the birthmom (not sure if we're going to meet her), attorney, nannies, etc when we go to GC. We think this is great, but need ideas! Does anyone out there have any ideas/suggestions?

[Annee]

Are you sure they mean the birthmom and not the foster mom? We were told that we could not give any presents whatsoever to the birthmom but it was fine to take presents for the foster mom.

On our visit trip, we knew absolutely nothing about the foster mom or her family so it was a little difficult, and most of the gifts we brought were more to help her with fostering. We gave her a CD boombox with lullaby CDs to play for our son, diapers, books, a bunch of clothes for babies she'll foster in the future, and money to pay for the gas she used in driving to and from the hotel.

Earlier, we'd sent down holiday place-settings and a nice picture frame.

Now that we know our son's foster mom, it's much easier to come up with gifts that are more personal for her and her family when we go back for our pickup trip. We're taking books, toys, crayons, stickers, etc. for her young son. One of the nicest gifts I have to take for the foster mom is a beautiful lightweight scarf that one of my friends knitted for her. Our agency doesn't give suggestions for gifts, but many folks on this forum have stated that cold hard cash is the most useful gift for a foster mom. I'm still looking for something personal that will be especially from me to her.

I asked about a gift for the attorney and our agency said it's not customary with their attorneys but fine if we want to do something small. They said something from our state or our local university (we live in a college town) would probably be appreciated.

Try doing a search of the forum for past threads on this topic - you'll find tons of ideas!!

[Guatemom]

Ditto--we were told to bring gifts to the foster mom, not the birthmom (whom we never met), and the atty if we wanted to.
I ended up getting packages together for both of them. For his foster mom, I got a big gift bag and just filled it with different things: some smelly-goods (I heard that perfume and perfumed soaps or anything are hard to get there and if they could get them most couldn't afford them), some Univ. of KY things (GO CATS!), & a plaque that says "LOVE" and had the prettiest angel figurines mounted next to the letters. And, a 'thank you' card in Espanol from us.
For our atty, heard she liked smelly-goods, too. So we bought her a big gift basket of perfumed soaps, bathoils, body spray, etc. It was gift wrapped real pretty & she said she "can never get enough of those" when we gave it to her. The best tho was when we gave our gift to the foster mom. She hugged us and kept saying 'thank you' but didn't even look in the bag. Just that she got something seemed to make her happy?
I'm also in the process now of putting together a mini-scrapbook with lots of Connor-pics, KY postcards, "U.S." stuff, and some letters journaled in it. Think she'll like that, too.

[2nd time round]

We were told the Foster mother, and told that because they are usually so poor that they appreciate cash the most. So we got her a cute purse and had the cash in it. She loved it!

[smr67]

We gave gifts to the foster mom -- a gift to the birth mom could be seen as "buying" the baby. We also gave gifts to our attorney, the attorney in charge of our son's foster care, and our agency's coordinator in Guatemala. Since we live near Hershey, Pennsylvania, we gave everyone collector tins filled with Hershey's chocolate--considered a real treat in Guatemala. We also gave the foster family lots of baby stuff. Hope this helps.

[Guatemom]

A lil birdie-from this forum wised us to that, too (the folks in Guatemala really love their chocolate)--so we took a couple bags of Hershey's kisses to give to the hotel staff as 'thanks.' They sure loved it!!! And it was great to see them smile so big for something I take for granted.

[Annee]

Guatemom, what a cool idea to bring candy for the hotel staff!

I forgot: I'm putting together a photo album with pictures of our son and his foster family - they came off of a disposable camera we sent down last fall and got back during our visit. It includes photos of us with the foster family as well.

[Audrey's mom]

Those are all great ideas! For those of you who gave cash, may I ask about how much would be appropriate? I was thinking somewhere in the $100 - $200 but I'm not sure.

Thanks for your help,
Stacey

[Babybmine]

Those are all great ideas! For those of you who gave cash, may I ask about how much would be appropriate? I was thinking somewhere in the $100 - $200 but I'm not sure.


On our visit- We didnt know the foster mom yet- we sent $100 in a card and a nice bracelet from the jewlers. The amount is totally up to you and what you can "budget" in. We also left a diaper bag, clothes, diapers, 4 things of formula, shoes, vitamins, gas drops, blankets, socks etc- you get the picture :-) We took down an extra suit case that had all of this stuff in it and left it with her. Hope this helps
Carla

[WaitingforJacob]

Thanks for all the wonderful reply's!! I especially like the chocolate idea.

I'll go back and look at the instruction I've gotten, but what your saying sounds right, that gifts shouldn't be given to the birthmom.

Our case is a little unique as we are adopting an older child who is currently living in a Group Home and not with a foster parent. He lived with his family up until last November. Candy has been recommended for the nannies, so I will focus on chocoate.

I have the same question as Audrey's Mom, how much is appropriate? It's been suggested that we tip the attorney's son who will escort us to the zoo, but how much???

[Babybmine]

I forgot to add that we did give her $20 each time we saw her (drop off and pick up) for cab rides. This is also appreciated.
Carla

[Babybmine]

a good tip in Guatemala (this is based on what I have heard in the past) is 10 percent. But you can of course give more. They seem to be quite happy with a couple dollars tip for a cab ride.
Carla

[jt421_2000]

I can tell you what not to take LOL. I took bunch of stuff in a gift bag. I had 6 bags made up and did not realize how heavy the 6 nice candle sets were in the lugggage. IT was a OH CHIT moment.