[kady2004]

Ok, my Doctor assures me this is very normal, but has no ideas on how to break my son of this.

He continually puts his fingers down his throat making himself retch. He will do this until he throws up if we let him.

Things we have tried -:

Asking him to stop, he laughs and carries on.

Diversions (but he goes right back to doing it again)

That stuff you paint on fingernails to make them taste gross - he could care less!

He usually does it more when he is tired or wants to change a situation, but sometimes its just not possible - like this morning in church, or at the pantomime at Christmas, or just when we put him in bed at night.

So far the only way we have been able to stop him is to just remove him from the situation, however sometimes we are just not fast enough!!!!!!

Anyone else either experience this and know how to make it stop, or have any ideas on how to make it stop.
He will stop for a week or two then start again, once it starts he will do it for a week or 2 until he stops for a bit again. He has done this since he was about 8 months old and he is now 14 months and 3 weeks old... Other people who's kids did this told me eventually he will just stop by himself... after 7 months I am beginning to doubt it myself!!!!!

Thanks in advance

[amestes]

My older son would cry so hard he would throw up when he was 2-3 years old. So that worked really well for him when he didn't want to be in the church nursery and he also did this at bedtime not every night but often. He eventually just stopped because we weren't given it that much attention when he did it, we knew he was physically fine so we'd just clean him up and put him back in bed or whatever. Hopefully it's something he'll stop, in our case it was almost like an extension of a tantrum. When we stopped making it such a big deal he stopped doing it over time. Hoping others have some better advice than mine!!

[Devora]

Given the situations you described of when he does this, it sounds like he's trying to gain control over a situation. Because he can't decide whether or not he goes to church, he does something that (A) lets him have control over his own body, and (B) gets him out of the situation he's in.

So it sounds like it's not the finger thing you need to figure out how to change, but how to (A) help him feel like he has control in a positive way and/or (B) help him learn how to be patient and cope with being in an annoying situation.

How to do that...I don't know!! But when I think about it, I'm surprised more kids don't rebel against the fact that so much of their lives are dictated by us big people. I mean, get down on the floor sometime and see just how much the entire world is NOT designed for them. Add to that the fact that we determine when and what they eat, when and where they go, when the bathe and sleep, and almost everything else. Being a little kid is incredibly disempowering. So it makes sense that when they find some way to have just a little control they resist our trying to break them of what we see as bad habits.

I'm good at the analysis end, but not so good at advice on what to do. Sorry! But I do think it helps to figure out what the underlying causes are of behaviors. So if this makes sense, I hope it helps lead to some ideas about what to do.

Best wishes,
Devora

[kady2004]

LOL Devora I was reading your email and thinking wow that makes sense... and then arghhhhhh LOL but I think you might have hit the nail on the head, he does it as a diversion, get me outta here tactic... but what can I do, sometimes I just can't change the situation fast enough, tonight he was doing it just two minutes before he fell asleep.... this is when it would be soooooooo super if he could talk! I could maybe reason with him, maybe its not going to change until that happens!!

[bobwhite]

My son was doing the exact same thing. The way we made him stop was by diverting his thinking to something else. We kept saying to blow mommy or daddy a kiss when he started this and eventually he stopped. The more you tell him to stop verbally, the more he will keep doing it. Focus on the diversion more than the act.

[foxl]

Yep -- I added my own tale to Erin's thread yesterday of her dd hitting herself! My daughter gagged herself, but it was less, er, "motivated."

My 2 y/o son on the other hand does EXACTLY what you are describing, and Devora's explanation has a ring of truth to it.

Reasoning with a 2 y/o is nonexistent. I agree that redirection is the only thing. And you have to do it casually, cooly, with no emotional reaction to the gagging game or spit-coated fist! Despite it being enough to drive you ab-so-lute-ly CA-razy.
Good luck,
Linda

[AdoptAmiga]

Same problem with our child #2. The only thing that worked was to redirect her and try to keep her hands busy doing something else. She did this from about age 11mos - 15 mos. (She's now 25 mos.) She eventually stopped. All of a sudden the habit was gone. Stay cool

[buyermel]

I am so glad to read these posts. My Hannah has been doing the same thing on occassion. She is not to the point of throwing up but does gag herself. I just try to redirect and get her involved in something else. I have noticed that when I verbally correct her she then thinks it is a game and does it again.

Hoping this is one of those stages that she grows out of quickly!!

[ToulouG]

My daughter went through this phase also. From about 18 months-2years of age. She was late getting most of her teeth, and our doctor said it was related to the teething pain. She will still do it on occassion, but now I think it is just for attention. Don't worry.....this too shall pass.

Grace

[kady2004]

**sigh** I think I was hoping for a miricle cure... LOL...
So I guess we will just keep doing the diversion thing until he grows out of it.... thanks for all the advice though... it helps to know he's not the only one!!

[carriewoman]

Hi,

We have 3 children, and the older two both have bad habits that drive us cazy! The biggest is biting thier nails down to bleeding, and refusing to eat. We tried everything, like you, and it just got worse. We realized it was about control for the kids and finally found parenting with love and logic. (We also have the RAD cd's through them as we have found out the older two have some attatchment issues.)
Where your son's only 14 months old, this probably won't work so well, maybe just don't make it seem like the behavior bothers you..... but heres what the books say about this type of behaviors.....
Basically, if it is something you can't make them stop...... try the opposite. When you catch him gagging himself say "I don't feel like watching you gag so please go to your room until you're done." Or you could say "Oh, thank you for reminding me that you need time to gag, go ahead and go sit in your room and gag yourself for 10 minutes, if you need more time just let me know by gagging yourself again."
Seems kinda harsh, but when our 2 yr old bites his fingernails down we say "uh oh, if you need to bite your nails, you better go to your room"..... now he says no! I don't want to bite my nails!
Like I said, ours are older, but the baby (12 mos) is recognizing the phrase uh oh allready.

Good luck! :-)
Carrie

[kady2004]

Carrie - I will definitly try doing that, as the diversion just doesn't work long term. He will stop for a couple of minutes, even up to 10 if we are lucky, then off he goes again...
He is beginning to learn certain phrases, so he may actually understand what we are saying.....
Thanks for posting....
Kati

[jennzyc]

My son is 91/2 months old and he just started doing this. Twice now he has made himself throw up. I try and distract him from doing this with something else. I think in his case he is teething. Just wanted you to know your not alone (and good to know I'm not alone)

best wishes,
Jennifer C.

[kjkane]

Our son also does this...he just turned a year old on Saturday. I asked our doctor and he said it usually related to teething at his age and to try and give him something cold to chew on. That is what we have been doing for the last two months and it has been working so far. Good luck!

Kelly