[Princess Purr]

I keep thinking we should get the cars paid off first, and get the yard fenced in and save up money and so on and so on, I have been told many times that you are never truly ready!
So my question is how did you know you were ready, what made you finally say okay, time to start the paper chase?

[norblatulippe]

The only thing I can say is this: If you wait for your finances to be ready you will never be ready.

I had my first child at the age of 19 and I was far far from ready, but I had a great support system in place and he is now 9 and happy. My husband and I talked about adding to our family when we married 6 yrs ago. We decided to wait, but I was pregnant within six months anyway. I miscarried that child and was heart broken, we then actually decided to wait a few months and try again as we were thrilled that I was pregnant. Well one month later, I was pregnant again, and again is was a suprise, We have waited five years for another addition. We have discussed adoption for about 2 1/2 yrs. For us the decision to move forward was somewhat financial as my husband got a much better job, but, If we had waited for the funds we would have never done it. We also received an inheritance from my FIL's estate. So I know I am rambling but I believe that sometimes you jump first and ask questions later.

[lotterino]

It's funny because I have just been thinking the last few days "boy am I glad we started the process when we did." We could have easily (from a financial perspective) waited a year or 3 to save up, but we didn't. Azaleah has been home since Christmas and I cannot imagine life without her. We began looking into adoption about a year and a half ago and the more we read and researched, the more God was working in our hearts and telling us to get started.

Seriously, if you saw our finances, you would laugh. There's no way we should have been able to do this adoption, but it worked out somehow. When you start thinking about what's really important, so many things take a backseat to family. We don't live with a lot of extras, but still we have plenty. I second what Stephanie says above, if you wait to be financially ready, you will never be ready. My dad has given me that same advice for years. Had I waited until finances were there to go to college, I never would have gone. If we had waited until we both had good jobs and a nice savings set aside to get married, I'd still be single. Incidentally, you and your husband are the same ages as me and mine, and we were married just 4 days before you so that's funny too.

So to answer your question, what made us say ok time to get started? I know some of you will laugh, but at 25 I was starting to feel old. Many of my friends and people my age already had one or 2 or more children and I didn't want to wait anymore. I wanted to raise my children at the same time as some of my peers. I didn't want to be 50 when my first child graduated high school. I know some wonderful people who did make that choice of waiting until they were a little older to begin their families, and there is nothing wrong with that, it's just not what we chose to do. (I hope I didn't offend anybody by saying that.) And after we started researching and chose Guatemala, once you see those little faces needing homes and parents, there is no turning back! Good luck!

[curlyqgyrl]

It just happens i think. At least for us anyway. We origonally started with Peru, and after waiting 9 long long months to hear from them, things got completly messed up. We were pointed in the direction of Guatemala, but it was double what we planned on paying. Then we decided we would wait like a year and save up a bit, but then just for some reason we just did it. Within 24 hours of the Peru mishap, we were working on the Guat dossier, and 2 weeks later our dossier was in the mail to our agency. It got there the same exact day our daughter was brought into the orphanage.
It just happens when it is suppose to happen. Everything just falls into place where and when it should. good luck to you!

[KellyMigoya]

You will know that this is more important than anything and you won't even ask yourself this question. Aoso the issue of finances will be a distant memory because your desire to do this is all consuming.

[shc65]

It wouldn't hurt to start that -- it can be a tedious process. Some of the documents can take weeks. We had to wait three weeks for our criminal clearance from the sheriff's office -- there was nothing on either of us but there was a back log so I had to fill out forms and three weeks later they sent me a note saying they had the reports. You may have to order birth certificates. Now you won't have to get them expedited which means less expense.

Also, start researching agencies. That took me about 3 months alone. I went through the internet and researched the countries in which I was interested then made a list of agencies. After that, I went to the BBB of each state in which the agencies were listed and pulled them up. After that, I went to JCICS.org to make sure they were a certified by that organization (it is an organization that monitors and provides rules/guidelines for international adoption agencies -- you really want them to be ceritified -- more reputable). Then, I took the ones that met that criteria and called the state Adoption Specialists for each state and got reports on them. Get the book THE UNOFFICIAL GUIDE TO ADOPTING. This was the best source I found.

As you can see from this long msg there are lots of things you can do to prepare before you really bite the bullet.

[csw]

Hi
You are both still very young..if you would feel better waiting until the fence is done and you had some money in savings you could wait..know that everything with adoption takes longer than you think..we were 17 months from start of paperwork to home..
I was 27 with our first adoption...we both had very good jobs and owned a home, both had college out of the way etc..I was ready the day we got married and in fact had my first m/c 3 months after our wedding when I was 24 years old..
What was supposed to be an adoption for around $8,000 in Peru ended up being around $30,000..what was supposed to be $25,000 in Guatemala was almost $40 grand..having some extra money for unforseen things would be nice...
Both of our vehicles are old, we still have no living room furniture, our house is not done, all of our neighbors have pools..but we wanted kids more than anything..
You will know when the time is right..good luck!

[2bASingleMom]

Basically 'you just know'. For me, it was unfortunately the death of my father last year that gave me that kick (i.e. the classic 'there are no guarantees in life - what am I waiting for???'). There has been no looking back since. Do I worry about daycare/general parenting? Sure. But it is all within reason. If the thought of this overwhelms you - you can wait. If it feels within acceptable risk, go for it!

Only you know if it is right for you. I like to think of it as the degree of the 'freak out factor' (If I were to move ahead, would I feel overwhelmed?).

As someone mentioned, the paperwork takes time. The process will likely take at least 9mos from start to finish (I'm hoping to have him home in an 11mos timeframe - but I didn't rush my hs / dossier). You could start. But if you're really not ready things will expire so doing a bit of soul searching now makes sense.

Good luck to you!
Lynn

[widgit]

You and your DH have to do what's right for you. But since you asked, here's my story.
I am someone who gathers LOTS of information before I know answers to questions like this.

Talk with/email friends who have adopted. Attend seminars that agencys & some hospitals offer. Pick up a magazine for adoptive parents.

In my case, I KNEW when I could envision my story becoming something like my friends' stories.

I KNEW when I found myself waking up dreaming of my son & daughter. I KNEW when I found myself holding friends' babies and feeling different.

And when I knew this was right for us, I also knew that everything else could WAIT!

[BEBE]

I knew we were ready once I realized I wanted to parent another child, not just produce one. After years of infertility we had DD #1 I loved being pregnant (even the 5 months of morning, day, and night sickness) It was a dream come true. We had a healthy baby girl. Then when she was 1 yr old, we started trying again, for the next 6 years we were on the infertility roller coaster and IT DID NOT WORK. So after having to have a complete hysterectomy, I woke up after the surgery and realized it wasn't just about reproducing, I just wanted to parent another child. I thank God for my infertility, because if it wasn't for that we would not have DD #2. So we talked about it and DH was on the same page as me,and we jumped onto the adoption roller coaster. And it was soooooo worth it. We made plenty of financial sacrifices, sold my new SUV, took DD out of private school, Mortgaged the house and so on. It is all worth it. IF we had waited till we had the money saved, it never would have happend. So we just took the plunge it has worked out.

I think when its the right time, you will "know" and not have to second guess yourself or be unsure.

Good Luck