[Epagan]

I am a new to the forum and find so much helpful information. I have one daughter and cannot have anymore children. We are thinking of adoption. I guess my question is.. did you have any doubts along the way? Sometimes I am so excited and other times unsure. Did anyone else have these feelings? Thanks in advance!

[pjkay720]

Hi, I'm not sure how others feel on the forum, but persoanlly for me there were no doubts. I always knew I wanted two children. I have a daughter who is my biological child. There were many complications during my pregnancy and her birth. My doctors advicsed me not to have anymore children. Once they did that my husband and I started the adoption process. No doubts.

I think if you have any doubts or are unsure at times that maybe you should wait before starting the process. For some people the adoption process is a breeze, but for us it hasn't been easy. It's been very emotional and it's not over yet. I would think if I had doubts or was unsure during this process I would not have made it through. It's my determination to have a little boy and second child in my life that gets me through each day because if you do decide to adopt you will know each day you receive no information on the adoption is like a lifetime. Weekends stink because you know that no information will come on those days. It's hard. So I'd be sure before you put yourself through the stress.

[WVUMom418]

I'd be lying if I said I never asked myself "What am I doing, have I lost my mind?". My situation is a little different though, I have a bio son in college and a 2 year old bio daughter. My son is from a previous marriage and was 14 by the time my husband and I got married. My husband didn't have any kids of his own and definatly wanted some. After some very stressful IVF cycles we finally had our daughter. At that time I thought we were done but the more I thought about it I realized I had raised one "only child" and didn't want to have the same with my daughter.

Here's were the doubt came in:
1- College costs so much these days, how could we take on this debt.
2- At our age (very early 40's) what are we thinking, can we handle 2 little bundles of energy. This question has come up more since our daughter turned 2 (terrible 2's are setting in).
3- We had just consolidate our mortgage and only had 1 bill and college, again adding debt after we had just paid it all off.

But the 1 thing I can tell you is when we received our referal picture, we knew it was right instantly. We haven't been able to hold her yet but we already love her and can't imagine not having her in our lives. And everytime things get frustrating and I think "what are we doing all this for" I turn and look at her picture and the doubts are instantly gone.

Good luck with yoru decision.

[pmgor]

Yes I had many doubts, mainly when we hit snags in the journey. In terms of loving a child I adopted, no I had no doubts and I can tell you, there are many days that I realize that our lives would be so sad without him and the miracle of his adoption. Our family is much stronger because of the journey we took.

i hope this makes sense.

Good luck on your journey,

[kelleymac]

I was going to post, but after reading Joan's post above, she could have written it for me. Everything she said is exactly how it was for my husband and I. (this is our first child, but our ages are similar and we had identical concerns.) Our son has now been home for almost 10-months, and he is an unremitting joy. I highly recommend adoption, but only you can tell if it's right for you.

Best,
Kelley

[foxl]

Oh, my! If I had listened to MY doubts, I'd NEVER have started!!! First or second adoption ... (and now I am mulling over maybe, maybe, a third??) and we are so happy, I would have missed so much!

I am not a person who has made big decisions without a lot of stewing and worrying and what-if-ing. But there are few risks I have taken that turned out not to be worthwhile, while the risks I did not take ... well, I'll never know.

I hope you figure it out soon, good luck. Only you can decide if this is what you want.
Linda