[tinaedmond]

Hi everyone

I just wanted to see if anyone else who watched Lost felt the way I did last night. The storyline was about a young pregnant single mother and her struggle to relinquish her child. There was a scene where she was in a court-like setting and being asked to sign off her parental rights, and was being told she would have no right to see or have contact with the baby after the birth. I started thinking about how hard it was for our daughter's birthmom to sign her name - FOUR times, not just once - and began crying. I always know how much she sacrificed in order to give her child a different life, and how blessed me and DH are to have our darling daughter. But last night's episode really touched me. If for some ink on a paper, she might not be home with us now.

Tina

[kathycasa]

Its funny this should come up here. My dh said he saw it and that it brought back a flood of memories. He said that he feels that when they sign their rights away, that is the closest the acouple comes to feeling like they just delivered their child. Anyway, its cool that you brought this up.Kathy

[Jensboys]

I watched it too ... what my husband and I were trying to figure out is what country on EARTH was she placing in. If I understood the scene correctly she was signing her rights away before the baby was born and being paid $20,000 now and another $20,000 after the baby was born. And then in the second situation (the family from LA) she was going to be paid $8,000 for her baby. Either way, neither adoption was legal by any stretch of the imagination. I just figured she was using a "baby broker" in the first scene because she didnt want to parent and figured this was the best scenario for HER ... however, nothing described that so I do think the show made it seem that this was normal adoption proceedure - and that bothered me.

But I DO think they did a reasonably good job showing the different emotions, different pulls, different issues that an expectant mother considering adoption goes through. And I DO think the scene in which she asked the adoptive mom to sing the baby the song was very sweet.

But talking about how the adoptive parents would decide later if the child would be told anything about her or if the child was adopted etc (although technically true I suppose) was awfully dated...

[BrandyHagz]

what my husband and I were trying to figure out is what country on EARTH was she placing in

They were in Australia…and the story line about the LA couple was just a line to get her on the island I think…you could see by the teasers at the end of the show that the baby is playing a pretty big roll in upcoming episodes, with Ethan Romm not being a passenger on the plane when it went down, but a resident on the island before the plane crashed. In the last scene, Ethan was fixated on the girls pregnant belly…

I wish I hadn’t missed the second and third episodes…

I TiVo’d it last night, so my husband could watch it tonight when he gets home from work…I may re-watch the episode, since I know more of what I going on…so I can catch more of the subtle hints the psychic was giving.

(The whole adoption scene freaked me out beyond words…but I also thought it showed a pretty accurate depiction of what its like to be pregnant and considering adoption…well, as much as they can in a 42 minute show)

[becky]

Brandy,

I have all 6 episodes on my TIVO, so just tell me which ones you missed and I'll fill you in on the details.

The only thing that I can imagine about Ethan is that he is somehow related to that crazy woman last week who held Sayid captive...she kept talking about her son Alex and asking if Sayid had him...she seems to think he is still alive on the island....so my guess is that he is Ethan...but who knows.

Anyway...let me know if you want a recap of any episodes...as you can tell I am a LOST fanatic!!!

As for the adoption line...in a private adoption you can probably have whatever terms you want put into the contract...as long as both parties are agreeable. And there are birthmothers who do accept payments for their 'expenses' when their babies are relinquished....that isn't really surprising. Anyone who has looked into a private domestic adoption knows it can be extremely expensive.

It did show how difficult it is on a birthmother...and how she can change her mind at anytime...all the way up until that final signature!

[BrandyHagz]

As for the adoption line...in a private adoption you can probably have whatever terms you want put into the contract...as long as both parties are agreeable. And there are birthmothers who do accept payments for their 'expenses' when their babies are relinquished....that isn't really surprising. Anyone who has looked into a private domestic adoption knows it can be extremely expensive.

Actually, here in the US those terms cant violate the states laws…and in many states, there is a cap of $2000 - $5000 for living expenses…all of which has to be documented for the judge with receipts and whatnot.

What you’re suggesting above would be considered selling your child…I wont say it doesn’t happen, because I’m sure it does…but it certainly isn’t the norm in domestic adoption.

Incidentally, the average cost of a domestic adoption is $14,000.00…of course that’s just an average…some agencies charge far more while others charge far less.

Now, back to Lost…I hadn’t set my TiVo’s to do list to record it…but I caught what I thought was the first episode…then I forgot about it…and I think I missed 2 and 3…I am going to see if I can find a transcript or something on line…to see for sure

[becky]

Brandy,

I didn't mean to imply you could put 'anything' you want into the contract, even though that is what I said...I was referring to the situation on the show and whether it would be an open adoption or closed adoption. Obviously in the situation of the LOST story, they were referring to what would be considered a closed adoption, since it was being left up to the adoptive parents to decide if and when to ever mention the birthmother to the child. That was all I was referring to.

As for the money involved...I know many people who have paid over $20,000 to adopt domestically...now, obviously all of that money isn't going to the birthmother...but it can be an expensive option also.

And of course there are always the situations of surrogates and what they are paid to carry babies...I think it shows the real weakness in the adoption laws in the US. They should be standardized and they should take into consideration the rights of the birthparents, child, and adoptive parents. If they were the same across the board, then we would never hear of cases where families paid lots of money and never were able to adopt a child.

Anyway...let me know if you want any LOST details...glad to share them, its my new favorite show!!

[chica_latina]

I'm sorry but I'm pretty lost about this show. I have never heard of it before.. But then again, all I do is study and I hardly ever get the chance to watch TV. (I'm in college).

Now, that being said, I wanted to thank you for posting this. Although I don't know about the show, it made me think of how difficult it must be for the birth mom. I never really sat down and though of it.

So thank you thank you thank you, for bringing this to light! :-)

Myrna

[becky]

Myrna,

If you don't watch any other show during the week I would make a point to watch LOST. It's on on Wednesday night at 8 EST. It's about a group of people who survive a plane crash and now are on a tropical island. Kind of like 'survivor'...only the people don't seem to be getting skinny or very hairy or sunburned...they all still look like gorgeous TV stars!

Anyway...each week while something is going on on the island itself, you also see flashbacks of the life of one of the survivors...things that led them to getting on the plane in the first place. It's really a cool show, with lots of twists and turns. I can't wait for Wednesday nights!!

[Treasures]

I thought that the young woman's struggle with her emotions had more to do with what the psychic had said about the necessity of her being the only one who could raise this baby. And when the inkpens wouldn't write, I think she interpreted that as a sign that the psychic was right. I didn't get the impression that she was torn about giving the baby up, but that she was scared to give it up.

Just my take on it...
Treasures

[becky]

I agree...I think she wanted to put the baby up for adoption...but when those 3 pens wouldn't work it was a 'sign' to her to keep the baby. Although...she laters travels to LA to give the baby up...but as we know, that was only to get her on the plane to begin with....so that it would crash and she would have to raise the baby, right???

We should start a LOST chat group

[juliamcm]

Hey Becky, there are a couple good Lost forums. Yep, I am such a dork I read them. Funny thing is, I have only watched two epidsodes (with a 2 and 3 year old seems I never have time) , but I read all the updates on the abc website and check the forum.

[becky]

Where are the forums??? I need to find them...I'm an addict!!

[juliamcm]

Go to the ABC website, then find the Lost section. Go under community. It is quite active. I have never posted, but like to read it!

Here is the link, but if this isn't allowed, please delete it
http://abc.go.com/primetime/lost/index.html