[whitcomb]

HI There
We are going to be travleing within the next week to pick up our son, and I am now thinking of bringing our two bio children (girl 4 1/2 and boy 3 1/2) with us?? I thought it would be a good chance for all of us to bond before introducing him to all of our family/friends. It seems as though there is plenty to do there with kids?? I would appreciate any advice on this. Thanks!!

[foxl]

I do not expect to go out much, and we intend to stay for the minimum amount of time, but I would think the feeling of particiapting in the pickup would be invaluable to her. She is 3.5 y/o. I also think it will gove her later insight into how we got her (she is also adopted).

My husband is on the other side of the fence at this point, is concerned about dangers to HER, etc. My main argument is the dangers to her are no greater than to the son we are picking up, so we will not be taking any risks, with or without her ...

Please, anyone, comments?
Thx,
Linda

[lisam951]

Our bio dd was a bit older this past year as we went through our adoption (8 yo). I could not imagine doing any of it without including her especially the trips. We took her both on the visit and the pick up trip. Everything was fine. It's not like they are going anywhere without you. I recommend, if you can afford it, to take them with you. Even with your children being younger, I think it will help with them bonding with their new sibling. They won't feel left out.

[Kimberj71]

We have 3 bios aged 7, 5.5, and 3. We chose not to take them with us on either pick up trip. I am very glad we did not. We felt like it was our special time to bond with the babies one on one. It gave us a chance (although only a few days) to get to know them alittle bit without having to worry about the other children's needs. We knew they were well taken care of at home. We also couldn't imagine waiting at the Embassy during our appointment with the older kids and nothing for them to do. The focus of our pick up trips were the babies themselves.

Meanwhile, back at home, the older kids were very excited getting ready for their newest sibling to arrive. They bought a small gift for them, made welcome home cards, and got extra attention from Grandma and Grandpa that they wouldn't be getting in Guatemala from Mom and Dad. The kids and our parents and one or two aunts and uncles were the only ones invited to meet us at the airport. And the older kids were the very first ones allowed to hold the baby before anyone else.

All in all I think leaving them home allowed my dh and I special "get to know you" time with the baby and saved on the distraction of dealing with the older kids at the hotel, embassy, airport or on the plane. Our celebration time was our arrival at the airport and our bonding time has been every day since then.

Do what you feel is best for your family. Many people bring their other children and it is a great experience for them.

Have a wonderful pick up trip!!!!

Kim

[LucyLuMyLuv]

I traveled with my 6 year old daughter. She and her new sister had a great time together. I walked about 5 blocks in each direction of the hotel several times a day and never once felt unsafe.

[Heidil87]

We took our then 7 year old bio son when we went to pick up our daughter in May.We wanted him to be involved in as much of the adoption process as possible especially since he was an only child for 7 and a half years.We did give him the option of staying home with his grandparents but he wanted to go. It was wonderful. He loved the trip and it makes him feel cool to be able to tell his friends about our trip to another country, the country where his sister was born. We stayed in Guatemala City but took a day trip to Antigua which I highly recommend. Its beautiful. Our trip was a wonderful whole family event and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

[Paparama]

My wife and three-year-old fostered while we were in process. It was an invaluable experience for all, though not without its challenges and difficulties. We will do the same again for our next adoption.

[Cinday143]

I am with KimberJ on this one: I left our 5 yo, 3 yo and 1 yo with my mom. I wasn't worried about the dangers so much as the difficulty of traveling with young ones (which is always hard - even within the US!). In retrospect - it was the right decision for us, as it was a lot of travel without much to do for the younger ones (waiting at the embassy, meeting with attorney in lobby, etc.). Also, my husband and I went down 3 days early and did some traveling that would have been next to impossible with really young kids IMHO (like the 3 hour van ride each way to Atitlan - which was a long, tiring day even for grown ups!). And I also agree that it gave my husband and I a chance to meet and bond with her one-on-one prior to bringing her home - it was a very special time.

[jdenbley]

We just made the same tough decision. We have a 2 year old and an almost 4 year old. I had always pictured us all going down for the pickup trip. However, the cost of flights made me think twice. Then when we found more reasonable flights, DH and I started discussing the pro's and cons of having our boys with us. They are still very young, so they require lots of attention and care, so we thought it might be easier on our new daughter if she got us alone for the first few days. When I found out the Marriott and Westin (the hotels with the pools) were booked, we thought our boys would get pretty stir crazy too. So we have decided to leave them at home with Grandma, and although I am sad that the whole family won't be there the first time we meet her, I think the meeting at the airport back home will be very sweet, and I think we made the right decision for us. To be honest, I wasn't too excited about flying all day with 3 kids under 4 either!

Jenna

[lsisoian]

My husband and I are also taking our 7 yr old and planning to stay only the required time. She is also adopted and we feel this would be a very special piece to the puzzle for her!
We are waiting to get pre-approval to PGN. This wait is doing a number on me! How are you coping?

[KapopsMom]

We took our three year old (Guate born) son on our pick up trip for our daughter. We never really considered not taking him, but I think it all depends on your family and your children... you know them the best. We spent 10 days in country... visiting friends and sightseeing. We spent most of the time in GC at the Marriott, and three days in Antigua. We sponsor a little boy and were able to meet and visit with him and his mother. The boys could not communicate verbally but that didn't stop them for having fun together. They were fast friends. We had a great trip, bonding as a family together without all of the pressures of home... housework, laundry, grocery shopping, making meals, etc. Instead, we spent our days visiting, shopping, swimming and just having fun together. It was a very positive experience.

Shell

[moelladeville]

I will take my adopted son to pick up my new son. Everyone has their own personal situation, and I want my son to be a part of the experience, and it's easy and convenient for me. However, on two previous trips when I went to visit son #2, I left son #1 at home. Do whatever works for your family, and don't feel guilty! Have a wonderful time.

[angxmas]

We aren't in the process yet. But I had thought about maybe taking our 3 bio kids, who I'm thinking will be around 6, 8, & 10 yrs old with us on the pick up trip. I had thought about, maybe, taking my mom to keep our bio kids while doing all the running around. But since we are still a year or two away, we'll have to see what happens. But I would like for our bio kids to be able to go with us and see where their new sibling is coming from.

[Pamsko]

My dd is 11 years old, a bit older than the other children you are talking about. So, my experiences probably differ.

We did not take her when we went to visit--my reasons for that were two-fold. Our visit trip was for us to meet and spend time with our boys. Also I didn't know how "safe" it would be in G.C. But the big, main reason was that I didn't want her to start bonding with the boys in case something went wrong in their adoptions. She would have been heartbroken as it was if the adoption didn't go through, but to have met and held them was more pain that I didn't want to risk for her.

Once I knew we were picking up, we decided to take her. She had a blast. She was a terrific help all along the way (which we needed, adopting two at once) and it really helped her to understand the adoption process, meet the foster family, etc.

I didn't feel that we were unsafe at all in G.C...other than from the traffic, which was FRIGHTENING! No one even slows down for a pedestrian and crossing the street was like taking your life into your own hands.

But with younger children who need more attention, it might end up that you rob all of them (existing and newly adopted) of the time and attention they need.

[Lisa L]

One of our main reasons for chosing Guatemala was so that we could take our son with us to meet his sister. This was a huge family occasion for us. I would not change anything, we were all able to bond as a family. Once we got home, we were all going to be together. So why have to transition twice? I understand if the kids are younger and don't travel well, but then I might have asked the Grandparents to join us. I feel that my son will always be able to recount his own memories to his sister, in his own words. He was the first one to see her at the orphanage on our first visit, and he tell us all the time. For us it was important that he feel included. He has visited Guatemala 4 times before she came home and twice since she has been home. It is a great place to visit, so bring everyone who wants to go.