[kelleymac]

All:

I have learned the hard way over the past few weeks not to share much information online with folks you don't know. There is someone in our midst who is not who they claim to be. They misrepresent themselves and their purpose here.

Please, be cautious about sharing information about yourselves. Don't share phone numbers, email addresses or personal information unless you're CERTAIN that the person you're talking to is legtimately who they claim to be.

Our situation will probably be fine, but please be aware that it's easy to hide behind a "handle" and a story, particularly with information so readily accessible on the internet.

Kelley

[emom]

If you are not part of this forum and going through what we are you should be ashamed. This forum is not meant for those with false intentions. Our lives and feelings are real. Thanks for the warning! But to all you should always be careful no matter what site you are on!

[ddhuab]

I hope you reported this stuff to the moderator or admininstrator. My husband is always worried about stuff I do on the internet, and I always thought he was being paranoid... I will take the warning to heart... in such a case, it would almost ease my mind to have a subscription-type service instead of a free service.

D.

[Bitsy]

Unfortunately, this issue is not a new one. Many of the current forum members may not know me too well, but a long time ago I decided to change my user name and go incognito. Personally, I am very leary of putting any personal information on a public site. That is why (although it pains me) I don't post pics of my children, their names, my name, etc. You just never know who may be lurking. I know my agency read the boards, and I am certain most all of them do. Not to mention the folks at the US Embassy in Guatemala, PGN employees, etc.

O.K.....I'll get off my soap box now. I'm glad you posted this warning though...it is a good reminder to everyone.

I'm sorry you were deceived. I hope it all works out well for you.

[wretzack]

THANK YOU all for the info. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to be reminded of these things. We seem to get comfortable after a while. And WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO.

Bitsy...I am so curious. And I am also very unhappy with most "agencies"...( you should read some of my other posts regarding what I think of them!!!)....anyway...what purpose do the agencies have in sneaking around our forums? What are they looking for?

Simone R.
P.S. I am a birthmom looking for my 27 year old son in MINNESOTA!!!

[guati]

As much as I have wanted to post pictures,etc, I am not comfortable with the internet either. I agree with Bitsy, you do not want to jepordize a case with providing to muh information

[BrandyHagz]

We are aware of the issue...and doing the best we can to keep this member for using the forums...

[csw]

Hi
I know my "old" facilitator reads the forums...you do need to be carefull what you say...it is ashame but a fact...Kelly I hope all is ok with you! Thanks Brandy for taking care of the situation....Cathy

[kelleymac]

To all who PMed me, I'll answer each of you once I get my son to bed. Thank you all for the support and caring. We are all okay, a little weirded out, but okay. Hopefully this will not amount to anything as it relates to my family.

Please just be cautious...

Thanks again,
Kelley

[resabelle]

Quite sad, as if we do not have enough to worry with. Thank you for the warning, we all needed it.

[kelleymac]

My intention is not to scare people from this forum. It was a godsend to me as we were finalizing Jonah's adoption. I merely want to warn you all that people are sometimes not what they seem. As I mentioned to another forum member, maybe I'm just too trusting.

I don't think that any harm will come to my family as a result of this. There is someone posing as an adoptive parent, and my belief is that this person is not well. I'm not certain whether it's a ploy for attention or whether this person is a sociopath with sick motives, but I'm not about to find out.

My advice, and the advice I will follow from here foward:

post pictures only if you give no other information about yourself (even then, it's risky)
don't post your location, not even to refer someone to another group (for example, I'm part of the New York adoption support group.)
don't use your first name, particularly if it's unique like mine
NEVER use your last name. I have not and this will probably be our saving grace
Don't post address or phone number

I have met some wonderful forum members by phone and in-person. My positive experiences far outweigh the negative on this forum and I will still be here. I may switch user names, we'll see how this plays out.

Again, I'm not suggesting that this isn't a wonderful place to be, just take precautions. Your best motives can really play into the hands of someone like this, and I feel particularly betrayed and a little unnerved.

And for the person who did this, for your own sake and that of those around you, get help. You are not who you claim to be and those facts are irrefutable. You are playing with the emotions and hearts of good people. I only hope that if you get pleasure out of this that there is a special place in hell for people like you.

Kelley

[Chrysanthemum]

I am so sorry this has happened to you?

[neenasee]

I have been a bit too trusting of people on this forum by giving way too much info about myself. I have gotten very comfortable sharing information with all of you that I forgot how risky it can be. Thank you for sharing this information and I think we should all be much more careful now.

[Ldyjane60]

Hello Kelly first of all my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Second it makes me so mad to know that some can be so sick to play with peoples emotions extra. I have found a great deal of support here and advice. I know how scary this can be and sadly there are those out here who play sick games on the internet. Thanks for the heads up Kelly about this person lurking in the forums. I hope they get help. Again my thoughs and prayers are with you and your family. Bea

[Kellster]

Hi Kelley,

I am so sorry that this happened to you. How scary! I had a similar experience several years ago, not online, but after a visit to a hospital emergency room. Someone obviously got a hold of my file and knew an awful lot about me and started calling me at home...I was terrified.

Is there any rule against posting the screen names of people who reveal themselves to be "untrustworthy", so as to protect other members? I know that there is the possibility for them to return under new names, but perhaps the hassle of changing names could be a slight deterrent? Just wondering...

I hope that this all blows over without incident. In my case, the person just stopped calling at one point.

Kelly