[captainzip90]

Dear Listmates,

A question for you: we have been waiting for an adoption from Romania for over a year. Things are closing down in Romania so we switched to Guatemala. We have a possible referral and this child would be the same age as the child from Romania if we ever get him. Thoughts from those who have two children the same age and not twins. Pros and cons. I am thinking about if one struggels in school and the other doesn't etc. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Michele.

[momof8]

Actually I have 3 the same age, 1 biological child, an adopted child 3 days younger than him and an adopted child 6 months older than both of them (all born in 97). Our kids go to a private Christian school and they ended up in 3 separate grades, the oldest of those 3 struggles tremendously in school and is just going to kindergarten this next school year, she has learning disabilities and speech problems. The other adopted child will enter 1st grade and the bio child will be in 2nd. We just did what was best for each of them. There are no real problems having 3 the same age that there would not be if they were different ages. We have 6 of our kids between the ages of 4 and 8 so it's crazy around here anyway. If you have any other specific questions I'd be happy to try to answer.

[captainzip90]

Did you adopt your children at the same time or was there a delay in them coming home? Our children also go to a Christian school but it is very small so they would be in the same class. Acutally in the afternoons two grades are combined so it isn't unusual for siblings to be in the same class if they are close in age.

Michele.

[momof8]

We adopted both at the same time, but they were not siblings. Our Christian school is very small too and some of the grades are combined, so the kids may take turns being together. Our two adopted children were amost 4 and 4 1/2 when we got them, they were all for one and one for all at first then they became fiercely competitive for any attention that the other might get, now they are regular siblings , sometimes loving, sometimes squabbling with each other and the other children. It was tougher when they first came because all 6 of my littlest children (I have 2 older ones too) were under age 5. We adopted out of birth order, the adopted ones in the middle of the other (which are close in age already). We are starting the process for a guatemalan baby, which is why I am on this thread in case you wondered. If I had it to do over, I would have gotten babies before, you can bring them up your way and not deal with alot of post institutional behaviors (which are getting under control!) But I wouldn't trade them in of course. They are mine for keeps.

[monti10]

Hi,

I have 5 year old biological twin daughters. One is very advanced (doing second grade work) and one is on her grade level (kindergarten) but needs help. We are adopting two boys 6 months in age apart at the same time. One is doing great and there will be not learning issues but the other we are unsure of. He was extremely malnurished and had a really bad start to his little life.

My girls are in the same class but work on different levels (they are in a private school) and there has never been any competion between them.

You will know as a parent what feels right when the time comes. Just have faith in yourself and your kids. They know what they need and they will find a way to let you know too!

Good Luck!

Kelly