[Embo1224]

Hi ya'll,

I'm a parent to a super two-year old girl born in Guatemala City, home to NC in 2002, and enjoy reading all the posts. I'm also a grad student writing my thesis about international adoption, so am curious about others' experiences for a variety of reasons. In any case, I thought this might be a fun discussion topic.

Did you chose the sex of your child, or wait for the first referal? If you did request one sex over the other, what were the reasons behind your choice?

best wishes to all, especially to those of you who are waiting.

Emily

[Beth S]

We are waiting a referral of a baby boy. We have two biological girls who are two years apart and VERY close friends (although they are fighting as I write!). We wanted a third child and felt that a boy wouldn't feel jealous about how close Katie and Abby are and also...in his own words...my husband "wanted someone on the toilet seat up side of the fence".

We are very excited and anxiously awaiting a referral. Good luck in your studies.

[becky]

We chose to adopt a girl. We had two daughters, then two sons and it had been a long time since I had had a little girl in the house...well now I have the most girly girl around!

[zanjen02]

This sounds like a fun topic! We have two biological children, a boy and a girl, so when we knew we wanted to adopt two babies together(2 years ago), we just naturally accepted a boy and a girl. Then a few months ago, we decided that we would adopt another baby boy. Mainly because it seems that there are so many little guys waiting to be adopted. Plus, we had visions of another tball player running through our heads! lol! We told our agency that we were leaning toward a boy, but when they got back from Guatemala with our referral, it was a GIRL! Lol! We were tickled to death over her and couldn't be prouder! So even though we thought we needed another boy in the family, God knew best! I am so glad! I can't imagine not having our Lucy!!! And who knows? Maybe one day there will be another little fellow out there waiting for us to come and adopt him! Don't tell my husband I said that! lol! ;0) Have a good day everyone!

[pmgor]

We have 2 bio daughters and I have always wanted a son also. But actually we requested boy because the wait was shorter for referral, which worked out just peachy for us Can't wait to have a boy in the house to mix things up Little sister has heard horror stories from her girl cousins that have brothers and has declared a gate will be placed in her room to keep him out LOL

[Gingerella_68]

For our first adoption we did not choose the sex of the child so, of course, ended up with a boy.

For the second adoption we asked for a girl. After six months we still had no referral and then The Hague blocked our adoption for another 9 months. Then things opened up for us again but at that point we figured out that waiting for a girl was a risk, since it's normally longer. So we changed our request: either boy or girl and in a very short time we got referral for another boy.

I guess it was ment to be that way, even though I'll miss the girly part a bit. But, no problems!

All the best for your family and your thesis.

Sincerely,

[WILL&ANNE]

When my husband and I went on our agency's waiting list for a referral, we went on both lists - the boy and the girl list. When we were trying to have biological children, we knew that we stood a 50-50 chance either way and we knew we would be thrilled with however we were blessed. We fully expected, though, to receive a referral for a boy, because we started out #8 on the boy list and #17 on the girl list. Imagine our surprise and joy when we received a referral for twins - a boy and a girl! Now if we can just hurry up and bring them home our family will be complete.

[Kimberj71]

This is a great thread. People are always asking me why there are more boys available for adoption in Guatemala. So this is fun to see why people have preferences, if they do.

We requested a girl because we have two bio boys and a bio girl and really wanted the experience of parenting another girl plus the opportunity for our daughter to have a sister relationship in her life. That's how we were matched with Londy.

For our second adoption we have no preference. Mainly because we're even on the boy/girl front again at the house. Baby number 5 will be our tie breaker. So I'm assuming we'll be having a boy. I guess that's not necessarily true, but more likely. It's exciting not knowing!

Kim

[SHS]

I will be a single mom once my adoption goes through, so since there will not be a permanent male influence, at least initially (we can always hope), I just felt like a girl makes more sense.

[crathke]

Interestingly enough, this is not a topic which was ever directly addressed in our adoption; we had a 7-yr old bio son when we began the process and just "automatically" put in our preference for another boy. Our oldest was the only one who indicated he did *not* want a girl! (he has four girl cousins and only one boy cousin who is *much* older than he is)

People have asked/assumed that we will "go back for a girl" eventually, and some folks have a tough time believing that I am completely content with my "little men"--that, in fact, *if* we ever adopted again, we would want a third boy! I have never had that "need" to raise a daughter--in fact, I firmly believe that some people are just temperamentally "boy" parents or "girl" parents. (not everyone, but I know I am!).

And as far as the toilet seat issue goes...well, the "boys' bathroom" in the lower level is their domain--I leave "their" seat up, they put the one in the main bathroom down!

[tootsi20023]

I have always dreamed of having a little girl, so we requested a girl. I am such a girly-girl....love hair, makeup, nails, dresses, heels, etc., so it was no surprise to my family and friends when we told them we were adopting a girl. It's funny how things turn out...Angelica loves her baby dolls and twirling around in her dresses. My husband says she is our "little prissy princess ."

Don't get me wrong, I love little boys, but our first preference was a girl...our 2nd child will be a boy and we can't wait!!!!!

[panda7]

Hi
This is fun...I know some agencies don't allow you to choose but we were able to and chose a boy. I'm not a *girl* person to say the least, I know I could be but boys are easier for me...now #2 who knows...
I was surprised during my homestudy to find out that more folks request girls and there are so many boys out there but while in GC for visits and pick up it seemed to be 50/50 so who knows..

Patti
Gotcha day 1/23/03

[beanmollybean]

I'm not adopting, but when I do someday, my husband and I plan on our first being a girl. I really want a little girl to wear frilly dresses, easter hats & gloves; play with my old dollhouse that my dad made for me, my kitchen set, etc... I look forward to jewelry, barbies and dressing the pets in doll clothes. Maybe I'm just trying to relive my childhood.

We decided that for our 2nd child the gender won't matter.

[Chrysanthemum]

I requested a girl. I was going to be a single Mom and was dying to have a little girl. I have such a wonderful relationship with my Mom and looked forward to experiencing the same with my child.

I LOVE having a little girl!!!!

[csw]

Hi,
We started with domestic adoption, requesting a girl..we had one failed match,,decided to "go for " an older boy in Guatemala,.lost the referral of a 5 year old boy,,then found a 7 year old boy, but the agency he was with is very questionalbe..so we went back to requesting a little girl..we wanted an older boy and infant girl at the same time, but were finding the fee's essentially doubled and just couldn't do it. So we had to make a choice and we are very happy we chose a baby girl. I am still having kind of a hard time accepting that we don't have another boy, but I am so blessed to have two, one of each gender! Cathy