[anderson]

Help! Our agency left us a e-mail the other day saying that the birhtmother of our little girl is having another baby in June and she wants us to adopt it. We don't even have our little girl home yet. (not that we shouldn't have)We have been kicked out of PGN 4 times now waiting to get back in. She is 10 months old. How in the world can we turn our backs on her little brother or sister but, how in the world can we afford another adoption right away. We are just your average people with a average income. This is really pulling at our heart. I know that there is help out their with grants but, we applied for a few the first time and was denied. Does anyone have any ideas how we can get this baby home. We have already refinanced our home and our family has helped out with the first adoption. If anyone has any ideas on where to apply for some grants you can PM me. Thanks so much. This was quite a suprise!

Anderson

[Annette2004]

Sorry can't give you any advice.
We're not even started yet.We almost have our homestudy doen and we might end up having to get another.Because our socialworker isn't licenseed to do International adoption homestudys.
We applied for different grants too and didn't had any luck.
Some of the ones we looked at you have to be a certain religion or you have to have a house.
Don't see whyn you couldn't love a child without a house or religion.
So I would like to hear as well how everybody else afforded their adoption.
My private Email is:annette_menard@yahoo.com
Thanks.

[tdintexas]

I've been thinking about the same question, although for me it's a 'what if' not a reality. Financially it would be very difficult to adopt another child right now (I have a 2yr old at home and another baby hopefully coming home soon, not a sibling). If I received that call, I would do whatever necessary to keep the siblings together. I would probably borrow money from my family, take out a loan, or in a worst case scenario, do a cash advance from a credit card. So for me, it would be a painful but manageable short-term financial burden greatly outweighed by the lifetime reward of keeping the kids together. One other thing to remember, you will get some wonderful tax relief from your first adoption. Unfortunately that won't be until next year. Also, you won't need the full $ up front, which helps too. Just my 02.

[Dawn080688]

Tell the agency of your situation. Maybe they will wave their fees or help in some way.

[mjoseph]

Anderson,

That is definitely being stuck between a rock and a hard place! I can understand the money situation. I was having a similar situation with affording my 1 (current) adoption process. I have 20% equity in my home but in TX you can't exceed 80% debt so I could not use a home equity loan. I don't have credit cards with credit limits over $2,500 so that was not an option. My family supports me but don't have the financial means to be much assistance. I can completely relate to that helpless feeling. Your heart is pulling you in one direction and your mind is trying to think of feasable ways to keep up! I do have a few suggestions. If you accepted the 2nd baby you would have some time to pay the fees. She isn't due until June so you figure 6 - 8 months from that gives you about 11 - 13 months. During that time here are some things you may want to try:

1) Garage Sale
You can ask friends, family, co-workers, etc...to donate any items they no longer want/need to your garage sale efforts. You can also call people having garage sales on the weekends in your area and offer to *pick up* anything they don't sell. Many will be happt to have someone come get it rather than them have to haul it off. You can also put an ad in the paper stating you will pick up and haul away anything from garage sales or unwanted items. Once you have a good amount of things put an ad in the paper for your garage sale as a Benefit Garage Sale for your adoption fund. It won't bring in tons of money but every little bit helps!

2) Benefit Speghetti Dinner
You can ask your church or organization you may belong to to donate space to have a dinner. It is very cheap to serve speghetti and the dinner won't have a high overhead. You can have family and friends help you put it together. You can then sell tickets for it (and have friends, family, co-workers, etc...) selling tickets too at $15 a ticket or whatever you want. You can also add some spice to this by having either a silent auction or raffles at the dinner. You can write to local merchants and ask for a donation (gift certificate, etc..) that you could use for the raffle or silent auction to benefit your cause. Then you would raise money through the dinner and ticket sales for the raffles. I have heard a lot of success stories on doing this as a fundraiser event. You can raise quite a bit of money depending on how much time you have to really spend on it.

3) If your job (if you work) doesn't offer adoption assistance, maybe they will allow you to do something to the effect of jeans day. Where everyone can wear jeans on a certain day if they pay $5. My company does not offer adoption assistance in any way but I presented HR with this idea and they are considering it! It would be known that the money raised is going to my adoption fund. We do jean days for different groups and usually it has a good turnaround.

4) Loan
Perhaps you can get approved for a small loan. If you can get a loan for half of what you need, you can probably come up with the other half other ways! I know it may be difficult with the debt ratio of having the home equity, etc... but it is worth a shot as a last resort.

Hope this is helpful. Wish I could be of more help to you. Best of luck and I hope everything works out for you and the little kiddos.

[RaeLynn]

WOW... that is my dream. (a costly one at that) but still my dream. I would LOVE to adopt a sibling to our daughter. Financially it is a tough one, but in your heart you know you want to. I know that where there is a WILL there is a WAY! Have your church host a benefit dinner, or your town where you live. I have always found that when people are in need (and it is KNOWN) people want to help! We will keep you in our prayers!!

Raelynn

[Jensboys]

I have very good friends who were in exactly the same situation a year ago. Their oldest son was 3, their daughter, 1 and they got a call saying their sons birthmom was pregnant again and wishing for them to adopt the baby.

This is what they did (they had no financial resources left after two international adoptions each costing $25,000).

1) Contacted the agency and asked for a reduced rate. The first agency (the one they had used for two prior adoptions) was TERRIBLE with them and essentially treated the baby as a commodity that they could "sell" to another couple willing to pay "full price". So they switched agencies ... birthmom was willing to do ANYTHING including have a new social worker etc if the adoption would just go through... The new agency was willing to work out a payment plan due to the special circumstances -- they just finished paying now one year after their new daughter's birth.

2) They wrote a letter to friends and family explaining how important it was to them that their son have a chance to be raised with a biological sibling. (yes they did get some "arent you glad to have the two you do etc...") BUT they got some donations from very unexpected sources. Do you belong to a church? Churches can issue receipts for funds that are given to the church with the intent of going to you as a "benevolant donation". Sometimes if people are going to do a charitable donation anyway ... this will encourage them to consider your children.

3) They contacted the airline (using a contact through a friend of a friend) and SHOCKINGLY the airline waived ALL fees. And they were able to use some dontated airmiles for other flying expenses.

4) Through their church they were able to find another family belonging to the same denomination where their daughter was born that ran a B&B and was willing to donate a stay to them

5) A family member took out a line of credit for them under his name and they make the payments. They know it may take them years to pay it back but, trust me, Little Samantha (also my God daughter) is WORTH IT!!!!

Some other suggestions -- cut cable (you wont want in anyway after your daughter comes home), cut on groceries, eating out etc.... and like others said GET CREATIVE. Yes sometimes our pride jumps in the way .. but ask for help. Explain, please no birthday gifts for us or christmas gifts -- only $ for baby. Your kids will be young when they come home .. ask that maybe people would be willing to hold a "$ shower" for you now instead of buying lots of toys after your daughter is home -- trust me, the "gift" of a bio sibling is FAR greater than the momentary joy she will get with a dozen new videos or rattles!

[bellasmommy]

http://helpmeadopt.farrahalbertie.com/index.htm

Click on funding sources and fundraising ideas.

michelle

[Cinday143]

WOW! These are all wonderful suggestions! I understand how much you want to keep these sibs together, but I want to throw in one other thought. *IF* you decide you cannot swing it, then ask your agency/attorney to try to place the child close to you geographically and pick a family who understands the situation and wants contact between the sibs. I know that may not seem as good, but at least your child could visit a couple of times a year (maybe more!) and spend some holidays together.

I know if I couldn't keep them under the same "roof", I would try for the next best thing = contact with the other adopting family!

[ILMomof2]

My husband and I were in the exact situation almost a yr ago. We had just completed 2 adoptions and put out over $35K, had a small house that we had refinanced and 2nd mortgaged for the adoptions, and had no more to give, when one of my son's birthmoms decided to place her 2.5 yr old for adoption- there was just no way we could do it, and I regret that decision every day of my life. And to make matters worse the adoptive family of my son's brother hasn't answered my emails, and so I am crushed my son will never know his brother.

So, if possible, learn from my mistake and do whatever you can to keep these sibs together.