[waiting4james]

Sorry to be on such a downer. I just really don't have the energy for this stuff lately. The more research I do, the more complicated I realize the political situation is. We are so in love with our little boy... I want to fight for him, I just don't know how long I can when there are no guarantees. If the worst happens, and he isn't meant to be ours, then I hate to say it, but all the money that was supposed to bring us our child would be gone, and we'd be left with nothing but broken dreams.

To top it all off, in 2 1/2 weeks he'll be 1 and we haven't had any updates since he was just a few months old, other than to tell us when he started walking. I don't even know what he looks like anymore. It's just all starting to feel like I'm pretending. I don't have the energy to fight, and I don't have the energy to cut my losses and move on either... the thought of doing that makes me ill. But how long do you get strung along with no information before you just toss in the towel and say enough already, all I ever wanted was to be a mom. How can there be so many orphaned children out there, but it's virtually impossible to bring one home!

I'm just really frustrated, maybe I could hang on longer if they would just make a decision, draft up the new process, and guarantee a start date to move things along... but deadline after deadline they toss us a doggie treat and leave us be for another month, then they set another date, wave a bone in our face and do it all again. Enough teasing already - DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!



Chelsea

[TLynn]

Chelsea,

I do understand what you are saying, I have had similar luck with our case. I started my case last march and reseived the referal of our sun in June 2002. He is now going on 14 months old and is still not home. I was promised monthly photos and up dates and in the 14 months i have recieved 6. I too many times say I cant take this any more, but you knwo everytime I get to thatpoint of honestly about to stop the whole thing, something happens and it reminds me to keep fighting.Look at what Jesus had to fight for his whole life on Earth. He somehow always mustard up the courage and strength to move on. I know Peole say yes but that was difffernent as he was the son of God and I am just human, you are right, but let us not forget Jesus was human at that time! And the good news ids the same comfort support and guidence he recieved we too can recieve. I know its hard to understand why we have to go through some of the things we do in life, but I promise there is a reason and one day you will know why, but untill then keep fighting, aske for the courage and stranth you need. I will ask also for you, remember your baby is waiting for you! And even if its only a moment in time he is your baby, dont give up on hime. you need support, everyone in this forum is here for you!

[crathke]

Chelsea--

copy your original message, word for word, and Send It To Your Agency. See what they have to say when they can see for themselves how completely burned out you have become. I think a lot of the agencies believe that parents will stop fretting because they are told to, or ignore forums like this for the same reason. We are not adoption professionals; we haven't been through this before and every now and then they need the wake-up call that real people are really affected.

The agency and your attorneys are fighting for you! The people on this forum are lifting you up in prayer and will help you carry the stress, even if all we can do is be here to listen. Take a break, step back, regroup and you Will be able to keep going, I know you will.

[LDC]

Chelsea

I agree, you should tell your agency how you frustrated you are. I found with our agency they were pretty responsive when I let them know when I was feeling down or frustrated. Also it made me feel better to let them know how frustrated I was. Have you tried asking for some newer pictures? Please hang in there, the call will come..which is something I never thought would happen and it finally did. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

Lisa