[LynRN]

I was just wondering if anyone has changed the first name of the baby they will adopting. I would like to change my baby girls' name, but I don't know if it is offensive to anyone. I wouldn't want her to be angry with me when she gets older, if she found out we weren't using her birth name. Any opinions about this?

[kahart]

Lyn,

we will be changing our daughters first name. Her name now is very long, but we will use part of her name as her middle name when she gets home.

We have two bio children and they both have names that start with "J", I didn't want her to feel left out so we wanted her to also have a "J" name.

I don't think she will be angry, I think she will know how much she was loved and that her name was beautiful, but growing up in America we wanted her to feel that she really belonged her and to us.

You have to really just do what feels right for you and your own children.

Hope this helps.

Katherine Hart
Waiting for Jayden Maria born 7/2/02

[reneetaylor]

Good afternoon Lyn - there are a ton of opinions on this topic. You might want to do a search through the archives for more info.

Basically - you do what you think is right and name your new daughter whatever you want. Many people will keep the entire birth name, or a part of the baby's birth name, as her middle name as a compromise for keeping ties to her native country.

Renee

[Alf]

I have decided to change my daughters first name and keep her real first name as her middle name. I'm sure everyone has an opinion on this, but that is what i have decided to do. It's what you feel is right for you and your child, i guess.

Good Luck
Lisa

I heard or read somewhere that sometimes babies that are relinquished at birth are given names not by their birthmom but by the attorney or someone else... so that may make a difference in your decision.

Obviously, the age of the child at the time of the name change should be considered - a four year old will have a different reaction than a four month old!

I think that these types of discussions are so important...it just goes to show how sensitive & thoughtful adoptive parents are...everyone on this list continues to impress me as wanting to do what is best for the child!

Good luck!

Alex Hendrickson
Kentucky

[lam524]

Our little girl has the same name as her birthmom and was named by her. The problem is her first name does not work with our last name and she will be teased growing up. I love her middle name and since it is the same as her birthmom and I want her to have a part of her history and heritage we are changing her middle name to her first name. Then we are giving her a new middle name after my grandmother.

It is a matter of personal opinion. If we did not do it this way we were going to give her 3 names.

Good luck.

[KDhappygal]

We are changing both the first and the middle name. Her given first name is the same as the birth mom's but is definitely a name that would recieve MUCH teasing.

[Tammy1976]

We've also decided to change our son's first name, and keep his real first name as his middle name. I figured that would allow us to name him but yet still keep part of the name his birthmom gave him. We also figured that, if later on, he wants to go by the name his birthmom gave him it wouldn't be too big a stretch.
I think you should do what feels right to you.
Good luck!
Tammy

[TRBenson]

We kept our daughter's birthname, but spelled it differently. I have obsessed for YEARS about what I would name my children, and I have a list of about a dozen girl names I love. But when our referral came and her name was Mayra, we just knew she was a Mayra. That was her name, and that is the name we have kept for her. We spell it Myra though, because that is how it is pronounced.

As stated earlier, everyone has their personal opinion!!

[Romans828]

Our babies birth name is Isabela because the birth mother didn't care what her name was so I told my agency to have them name her Isabel. She thought I said Isabela so that is her birth name. We will change it to Isabel Rose when she comes home. We chose Isabel with this spelling because it means consecrated to God.
There are definately many opinions about this but I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here!!

Good Luck!!!

[khnath]

We picked out Magdalene Grace over 2 1/2yrs. ago, and thought we would keep a part of dd's given name as her middle name. However, that didn't work and she too would recieve a lot of teasing. So, we chose to use her Bmom's middle name (which is also a form of my mom's middle name) for her middle name. This way she still has a piece of her Bmom and her heritage with her, and it's a double bonus because now she also has a family name.

Bmom's middle name is Maria so we named dd:
Magdalene Grace-Maria

With our son we kept his first name as a part of his middle name, and gave him dh's middle name as his middle name.

We feel it important to honor our children's bfamilies by giving them a part of them; but also feel it equally important to give them one of our "family" names. We want them to feel connected to both worlds.

[tricecm]

This board told me that sometimes the birth name is not chosen by the birth mom, so I asked our agency. Sure enough, ours was given her name by the attorney.

We have bio children who are named after family members and saints (our family members aren't saints- they just have the same names! lol). Like much of Guatemala, we are Catholic. Since she is our first daughter, we wanted to honor our own heritage as well as that of most of Guatemala so our plan was to name her after the Blessed Mother. When she comes home, her name will be Rosamaria Cecilia, after the Rosary and after our grandmothers. Having our children have family names and her have the name the attorney gave her seemed so cold.

Ask where your child's name came from! If it came from the attorney, then the decision is an easy one. Our decision was that if it had come from her birth mom, we would just add a middle name.

I would be interested in what you decide! Let us know! And good luck in the process!

trice

[Anne1377]

Hello...

We have an interesting name story to tell. My husband wanted very much to name our daughter "Anne Elisabeth" after his mom and grandmom. We had pretty much decided on this name until late February of this year when I decided I liked the name "Kailyn Elisabeth" better. My hubby reluctantly agreed to the name change but would often mention that he really liked "Anne Elisabeth". I told him that either name would be fine as I knew the name he selected has much family meaning for him.

When we received our referral, we learned that her birth mother gave her the name " Ana Elisabeth" . Needless to say, that names remains...

Diane

[Cinday143]

THAT gave me chills!

[Anne1377]

Cindi...

Me too!!! I get goosebumps everytime I tell our story! She is certainly meant to be ours.

We too have three sons who are eagerly waiting for their sister to come home. They were able to visit her in May and had such a hard time leaving. Now we are counting the days until we go back in July....


Diane