[cupycakesmurf]

Hi - I was wondering if any of you have used the www.precious.org website to browse photlistings of available children/babies. My husband and I are still at a loss as to which country to adopt from, but I've been looking at the babies on there and I know so many of you are waiting for referrals... why haven't they been refered to any waitng parents? I know everyone has different agencies and the babies are all from various agencies, but it seems as though these agencies would have offered the babies to their clients, right? Most of the babies seem perfectly normal and most are adorable!! Have any of you successfully located your child at percious.org and eventually united with that child?

Thanks,
Jennifer

[becky]

Jennifer,

The reason the children on precious.org are available is that the agencies that represent them do not have any clients 'waiting' for referrals...or the clients are waiting for a child of one sex and the agency only has children available of the opposite sex.

There is much discussion about the use of photolistings in the adoption community. People have many different feelings and thoughts about whether it is a good idea to ever post a picture of a child. In fact some countries (in Eastern Europe for example) that do not allow photos of 'available' children to be posted.

I agree that photolistings can be very useful in helping you to decide on a particular country. They can also be useful for placing older children who may otherwise not find a home. However, healthy infants usually are referred pretty easily, and therefore photolistings should not really be necessary.

The important thing to remember about photolistings is that some agencies use them to 'lure' parents to their agency. A parent falls in love with a picture and decides to sign on with the agency that represents the child...sometimes without doing research on whether the agency is a reputable one. Another scenario that is common with photolistings is that a family will 'choose' a child and THEN start the paperwork involved with the adoption. As most of us can tell you, the INS approval and dossier preparation can take up to 4-5 months...so those are months that the child sits in foster care waiting for the parent to get the paperwork done.

I am not saying that photolistings aren't useful for some people, and I know many people who have had successful outcomes from adoptions started this way...but my own personal opinion is that if you want a healthy infant your best bet is to get all of your paperwork in order, research agencies until you find the one that best suits your needs, and then wait for them to offer you a referral. There are too many people who have used agencies, just because they had a child available, and then have had horrible adoption experiences. If you think about it...it makes sense...the really good agencies all have a waiting list...there is a reason for that.

Good Luck on making a decision...it is certainly difficult!

[reneetaylor]

Jennifer - I have a slightly different view point than Becky does. When my husband and I decided to start checking into adopting our son, we checked into many, many agencies, and requested info packets from many as well. In addition to that, we started looking on the Precious in His Sight Photolisting. And that is where we found our son! We checked into the agency who was responsible for him, and found out that they were in our same state, and so we called and requested thier info packet. They were fantastic and we are so glad that we have gotten to know them and that we are trusting them with our adoption. If you look at the names of some of the agencies represented on the photolisting, you will see that many are well known and reputable agencies. Some are not, but many are, so that is where your research comes into play.

I think it is wrong to say that all "really good agencies all have a waiting list", because in my opinion, it is the smaller agencies who may be better in the long run. Our agency is personal, and it makes me feel good to call and have them recognize my voice, and for them to call my son by name, instead of making me give them my case number and then waiting for someone to call me back. The "good agencies" get children placed as quickly as possible....even if it means listing their picture on the photolisting. I think it is ridiculous to have a 2-3 month waiting list for a child when there are so many being born and available in Guatemala and around the world.

I agree that you should gather all your paperwork and have your dossier ready to be submitted before falling in love with a picture of a child on the photolisting, but that isn't what we did, and it all has worked out fine. We had actually decided to put off starting the process until this summer, so when my husband "fell in love" with our son's picture, we had to start from scratch. We had our homestudy done in 2 weeks, INS was filed and aproved within 6-7 weeks and our dossier was in Guatemala being translated within 2 months of accepting the referral. It may mean that our son will have spent a little longer in foster care, but what is an extra couple of months when you have the opportunity to bring a child into your life? We are strong beleivers in faith, and it was our faith and trust in God that this little boy is meant to be our child that lead us to start this process in the way that we did.

I say to prepare yourself and have your stuff ready, but if it makes you feel better to be looking at the photolisting and keeping an eye on the children available, then do it. What can it hurt? If anything, it might make you realize that you want an older child or a child from a different country, or even a child of a different sex. Every case is different and you need to be smart and follow your heart as well as your head when it comes to adoption.

Good luck,

Renee

[becky]

Renee,

I agree with you that I should not have said that all of the 'good agencies' have waiting lists. I should have said that "many" of the most reputable and trustworthy agencies working in Guatemala have waiting lists. The reason that these agencies have a wait list is that they have a long history of providing ethical and timely adoption services and their reputations are such that people are willing to wait in order to work with them.

Not all of the agencies I was referring to are 'big' agencies. That is another reason they may have a wait list, they choose to work with only the most reputable attorneys in Guatemala and therefore they may not do as many adoptions as some of the really big agencies.

I do disagree with you that there are so many children being born that it is ridiculous to 'wait' 2 or 3 months for a referral. In the situation of international adoption, you are dealing with a foreign country, foreign culture, and a LOT of money. For many of us we would never have been comfortable investing our hearts, souls, and hard-earned money with an agency that did not have a long-standing reputation...so we choose to wait for a referral to be sure that we will have as smooth a process as possible.

I am glad you found the child that was meant to be yours. I agree that sometimes photolistings do just that for people. But I also want to CAUTION all newcomers to check references very carefully before allowing themselves to fall in love with a picture on a photolisting.

Good Luck with your adoption and I hope your son is home soon.