[lafayette87]

I just found out that My first brother died yesterday. At first I just kept brushing it off, but it doesn't work that way. I had the information back then, I could have known him but I was to afraid, and now its just tearing me up.

I'm sure you have probably all heard the song "Where'd you go?" by Fort Minor - I changed the lyrics to fit the way I feel. I'm very sorry for all your losses too.


Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

I said "Someday I will deal with it,
but today I won’t go through with it, I’ll pretend to just be normal for a bit,"
It’s not their right to care that I am gone ,
they gave me up so what’s a few more days, its been so long,
And, I found myself staring, wanting to dial the phone,
I thought maybe you also felt alone,
But I feel horrible, I just kept putting off the call,
You could have taught me so much, but now theres nothing at all,
So, I want you to know I really messed up,
That I left you there waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' myself that there was a reason we weren’t mean to be together,
And now I’m just sitting here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Wish we could just go home...

You know the place where you used to live,
I know you wondered what happened,
When I was just gone,
I feel angry that I know If I would have just stopped to say Hi,
Bro, I find myself wondering if you had to die,
If I had only come back when I first knew,
Would you have saved me? Could I have saved you?
I could have called but I couldn’t think if what I would say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know I really messed up,
That I left you there waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' myself that there was a reason we weren’t mean to be together,
And now I’m just sitting here singing "Where'd you go?"


I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Wish we could go back home...

So, I want you to know I really messed up,
That I left you there waitin', at times debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and I kept makin' these excuses,
For why I shouldn’t be around, and now I’m sorry I’m so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,
I guess I should have stopped to take the time
Maybe you’d still be here, and I won’t be singin’...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
I wish we could just go home...

I'm sorry.

[RavenSong]

I am so very sorry you've lost your brother before having the chance to know him. The same thing has happened to a couple of other adoptees lately who post here on the forums.

Is there any way you can find out more about the man he was? Did he leave any survivors who you might reach out to?

I'm sorry for your loss...

[Jackiejdajda]

I am so sorry for your loss..

Jackie

[lonni]

I am sorry.
((((hugs)))) I have a sister who died, but I got to meet her. We just never know how long we have on this earth, but I personally think that we may just meet up in Heaven with our loved ones.

[lafayette87]

Thank you all for your sympathies.

RavenSong - I have found a relative of his to talk to, it will take time, but I can wait. I know he cared deeply for his family, and in my mind nothing else could counter to say was is anything but a good young man.

Lonni - I am sorry for your loss, I read your post and immediately thought of the Elton John song "Tears in Heaven." Thank you so much.

[carolynppk]

Tears in Heaven-Eric Clapton

I am wondering if you now know who your bmother actually is since you know your brother passed away. I am sorry for your loss. There are many here who can relate in finding biological family members only to find out that they have passed. My condolances.

Carolyn

[warbaby]

Thank you for sharing that song, your adaption really helps express not only for yourself, but all of us out here can benefit. I am new to this forum, though I was 5 years old when I was adopted myself I have yet to make contact with my birthfamily. I have lived in Korea for the past 12 years and met many adoptees who come back to birth parent's homeland. Some Koreans who were Late Discovery Adoptees will benefit from you and all of your experiences. May I use your song and story for my Korean adoptee? I look forward to being part of this forum. Don Bell/Jun YongSu

[lafayette87]

Originally Posted by warbaby

Thank you for sharing that song, your adaption really helps express not only for yourself, but all of us out here can benefit. I am new to this forum, though I was 5 years old when I was adopted myself I have yet to make contact with my birthfamily. I have lived in Korea for the past 12 years and met many adoptees who come back to birth parent's homeland. Some Koreans who were Late Discovery Adoptees will benefit from you and all of your experiences. May I use your song and story for my Korean adoptee? I look forward to being part of this forum. Don Bell/Jun YongSu

Welcome to the forum! Sure, you can use my song adaption for what ever you like. Just please credit Both Fort Minor and Lafayette87 for it. I'm glad you found it, along with my story helpful.

[warbaby]

Lafayette87
And others out there in cyberland, greetings from Seoul, South Korea. I will always be sure to give credit where credit is due, and protect the identities of all. I have time zone problems but will always try to get back on comments. In Korea I am meeting many Koreans adopted by Korea family and 90 % of these In-country adoptions are kept secrect because of still strong social and cultural reasons. Being adopted is like a curse, maybe like it was back in the '50's or '60's in USA to be a child of Divorce. I am still working out my own issues since I tried but have failed to find birthmother (Korean) since no records exist from 1952 (During the Korean War hence WarBaby). My birth father stayed with my mother for at least two years since my Korean/American sister and I have confirmed by DNA that we had the Same birthparents. We are all wounded but hopefully helping each other can find degrees of healing.