[txrnr]

I'm not in reunion, but am one of the lucky ones to know who my maternal family is. I was doing some of my random checking of news and found my birthgrandmother's obituary today. I felt horrible that my first reaction was glad I had new news, then realized what this meant. I hope she's at peace and didn't suffer.

It's strange that someone who I have never met has passed and it saddens me as much as it does. I had more of a reaction when I looked at the online guest book and realized my step or half brother had signed it. He suddenly seemed much more real to me.

Thanks for letting me ramble a bit. I'm not sure how I should feel, but it seems strange I feel anything.

[Oceans]

I can't imagine how that must of felt. Happy, sad, intersting, sad...

((((( txrnr )))))

[terrirose9]

I know a bit about what you mean. Even though I reunited a very young age and met my maternal grandmother very young. Her passing was a very confusing thing for me. When my adopted grandmother passed about a year after my reunion I was devstated to say the least!! When my birthmothers mom passed. I was confused to say the least. I had become a part of thier lives. She was Grandma. But again she wasn't. I knew the part she had in my being placed. I did not hold it against her but it did keep me from sharing the part of her I shared with my adoptive grandparents. My birth mother called when she passed. One of those calls when the phone rings in the middel of the night, you know what it is don't wanna answer it but you know you should. I was quiet and my mom asked if I was OK.. I was just thinking. "Ok this is my sisters (All 4) grandmother". I need to be "respectful" of their pain. We are all adults now when I was 16 when my adoptive mother passed. I didn't expect much of them. Preaty much wanted to be left alone to grieve. Well I can count on one hand how many times I have drank more than I should. I did this time. I think it was because I didn't know how to feel or how to help my sisters. In my drunken state. (I remember this never been that drunk). I told my sisters. How bad I felt cause I didn't share their pain!! I didn't know her well enough to. What I am trying to say even when you have known a person blood relative or not. Their death is not always easy to sort out. Doesn't mean you care one way or the other. Just that you don't know.

[txrnr]

Thanks Oceans and Terrirose!