[katmatmama]

I don't know if this post belongs here, I'm not an adoptee or birthparent, but I am the adoptive mother of a 4 year old.
She was adopted through fostercare, but we had an open adoption with her birthmother, in fact, a very open adoption. I can't say we didn't have some rough times in the beginning, but we moved passed all of that. Her birthmom and I had daily contact, whether in person, text messaging, or by phone and our daughter, didn't have daily contact, but we had very frequent visits. I was helping her pull herself together to get her infant son out of fostercare... he was set to go home July 1st. She was murdered a few weeks ago.

Trying to get our 4 year old to understand it on her level. Expecting my text msg alert to go off any time still. Knowing our daughter won't have the opportunity to grow up knowing her birthmom as we all planned. I do thank God that I've had these last 4 1/2 years to get to know her birthmom and that I have all of these memories to relay to her when she's older and has questions.

It's just so very hard to deal with, she was young, only going to be 20 years old, and was headed in the right direction in life, and was just about to bring her son home again.

[SuddenlySusan]

katmatmama...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you...

Peace,
Susan
(bmom in reunion)

[mrskllp]

Oh my gosh!!! I am so very sorry! I know this is a hard time for you as well as your little girl, but you can tell her all sorts of wonderful things about her mom and tell her how far she came in her tribulations and how she made you so very proud when she turned everything around! What is going to happen to her son? Are you going to consider taking him or will he stay where he is at? If he stays where he is at you could always see about letting them get to know each other since this is her sibling, that might help her deal with things a little better, I don't know,but I thought I would ask! Take care, I will be thinking of you!

[TxMom65]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. It sounds like you were a great friend to her as well as a good mother.

[ripples]

Dear katmatmama,
I am so sorry to hear about your and your daughter's loss. The loss of the birthmother, especially after all the connection you had with her, and the fact that she was murdered, there is so much to deal with, let alone knowing how to explain all of this to your daughter. I can imagine how hard it is for you now. My thoughts are with you.

[josh1788smom]

I am so sorry for your loss and your daughter's loss as well. It sounds like you have developed a wonderful relationship with this woman, and will pass that onto your daughter. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

[pinkpixie]

Just read this now and I am very sorry to hear this as its so very sad for the little girl but thank god fo ryou who did get to know the Birth mother so well to pass on that to the little girl later on
What about the little boy was he your adopted daughters sister / what happend to him ? are you able to adopt him ?

[Scarlet Moon 13]

Originally Posted by katmatmama

I don't know if this post belongs here, I'm not an adoptee or birthparent, but I am the adoptive mother of a 4 year old.
She was adopted through fostercare, but we had an open adoption with her birthmother, in fact, a very open adoption. I can't say we didn't have some rough times in the beginning, but we moved passed all of that. Her birthmom and I had daily contact, whether in person, text messaging, or by phone and our daughter, didn't have daily contact, but we had very frequent visits. I was helping her pull herself together to get her infant son out of fostercare... he was set to go home July 1st. She was murdered a few weeks ago.

Trying to get our 4 year old to understand it on her level. Expecting my text msg alert to go off any time still. Knowing our daughter won't have the opportunity to grow up knowing her birthmom as we all planned. I do thank God that I've had these last 4 1/2 years to get to know her birthmom and that I have all of these memories to relay to her when she's older and has questions.

It's just so very hard to deal with, she was young, only going to be 20 years old, and was headed in the right direction in life, and was just about to bring her son home again.

My husband's cousin, who was also the person who introduced us and was my close friend. Her daughter born the same day as my son, was murdered, leaving two small children. One raised by his father, and the other raised by my cousin in law.

It is very hard, you have my sympathy.

[denise04]

im sorry to hear that at least you had a chance to no her