[almab]

Prayers that you will get some information soon.

[rsbg]

Praying that you can get some answers. You are in my thoughts and my prayers.

[cnb1099]

Kim- I have no words...just hugs and prayers that you find the answers you need..I am so sorry for your loss.

[txrnr]

My heart and prayers go out for you.

If you have enough information on your son, his death may be part of the vital statistics and subject to the open record laws. You may find some answers there, and then be able to track down where he's been laid to rest.

I hope you find answers soon. This seems so unfair for you.

[Emster]

Oh, Kim, I feel so sick thinking about how you must feel right now. I pray you will find information and what you need to start healing from this.

[HappyTwinsMom]

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss.

There are ways to search death records. One site is RootsWeb.com - it searches the Social Security Death Index. You don't need to know his social security number, just put in his name. That should give you a date of death.

Also, if you know the state he lived in when he passed away, you can search death records by state. Simply Google "death records" and the name of the state.

I hope you're able to find more information to help you heal.

[kdecrow]

I spoke to the "powers that be" in Nashville again this afternoon. They say they are so sorry, but I have absolutely no recourse. I will never know when my son died and how. I will never know where my child is buried.

Kim

Psalm 22: "My God, my God, why have you deserted me?... I call all day, my God, but you never answer. All night long I call and cannot rest ... Do not stand aside; trouble is near. I have no one to help me ... Do not stand aside, 0 God. 0 my strength, come quickly to my help ..."

[Scarlet Moon 13]

Originally Posted by kdecrow

If anyone has been following my postings, I filed with DHS in Tennessee to have my birth son's records opened to me.

The letter came last night. He is deceased. The only child I ever had. I had such high hopes. They won't tell me when he passed away and under what circumstances.

I can't even cry. I'm afraid to. How in the world am I going to tell my Mother? She's elderly and was so excited.

Is this really happening? I have really tried to live a good life. I thought I was going to finally have a chance to tell him how much I have always loved and missed him.

Those of you who are Christians please pray for me and the soul of my son.

Thank you for letting me vent.

Kim D.

If you can do a search on your own, someone else can find out the information you seek..

or if you can afford it, call a lawyer, if your son is really dead then there should be no reason the records can't be opened. it is worth a try.

So sorry...

[akcskye]

I second what everyone else has said...

I cannot imagine the turmoil you must be feeling inside, and I pray that the Lord will help you find peace in this horrible situation.

How much information do you have? Do you have a name or a county or anything?

Just this little bit of information can lead you to a death certificate, which *should* then give you the cause of death.

Praying for you since I read this.

[Jannyroo]

Originally Posted by kdecrow

If anyone has been following my postings, I filed with DHS in Tennessee to have my birth son's records opened to me.

The letter came last night. He is deceased. The only child I ever had. I had such high hopes. They won't tell me when he passed away and under what circumstances.

I can't even cry. I'm afraid to. How in the world am I going to tell my Mother? She's elderly and was so excited.

Is this really happening? I have really tried to live a good life. I thought I was going to finally have a chance to tell him how much I have always loved and missed him.

Those of you who are Christians please pray for me and the soul of my son.

Thank you for letting me vent. Kim D.

Oh my, oh my, oh my, words just aren't enough are they? It turns my guts inside out to read something like this. I am so sorry.

I would encourage you to phone the department and see if someone would be prepared to give you information over the phone. I phoned the registry to see if my son had died or not, and the woman said she was not allowed to give that information due to the Data Protection Act.

I explained that my son had overdosed on ecstasy and we'd only been reunited after 28 years apart with him being adopted and she put me on hold.... then came back and told me what I needed to know.... its a thought, but perhaps there may be someone who has a heart.....????

Meanwhile, there is a scripture that I have come across in Jeremiah 8:18 which says " a grief that is beyond curing has come up into me. My heart is ill". Psalm 147:3 "He is healing the broken hearted ones and binding up their painful spots". Isaiah 41:10 Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not gaze about for I am your God. I will fortify you I will really help you, I will really keep fast hold of you with my right hand of righteousness".

Its all I can offer you, as well as my love and deep thoughts and feeling as a birthmother who recognises and shares the very deep pain you must be going through (((((hugs))))) and warm thoughts

[longingtomeetyou]

im so sry Kim for that news

gutt wrenching

let me pray for you....Jesus i bring Kim to you right now i ask you Jesus to hold her as you promised to do to those who love you .....
Jesus i ask you to minister peace to her at this time....oh Jesus i know you are the healer our deliver....our protector....you heal the broken hearted...You Jesus can bring this lady just what she needs.....

i pray Jesus you will give her the information she is seeking....
i pray for healing in her emotions...oh Jesus i thought i had alot of pain .....Jesus minister to her right now ...wrap your loving arms around her and may she feel and know that you are God and that you Jesus are in control...i pray Jesus you will do what only you can do .....do what needs to be done Jesus for her.....minister healing in Jesus name .....


oh Kim tears coming ....im sooo sry i wish i was close enough to meet for coffee.....i will keep you in my prayers.....be patient and let God do what He needs to do......Love Him with all your heart and he will give you the desires of your heart.......all things work together to those who love Him........

[mommieof2cuties]

I am so sorry. I will pray that you will find your answers.

God Bless,
Summer

[InionGrinn]

Kim, my heart is aching for you right now. I am so sorry for your terrible loss and the anger and pain you have to deal with now. To have no recourse, no answers, just cuts.

Please know I am praying for you, that somehow the answers will find their way to you. XOXO

[Baloney-Girl]

I am so frustrated for you. Keep calling, maybe you'll luck out and get someone new or someone with a heart who will bend the rules. Like the others suggested vital statistics might give you some leads. In your other thread you mentioned that you found out he passed away in the past 5 years, how did you find that out? Do you know where he lived? We could start sifting through obits and gather a list of possible matches.

[Denise Michaels Mom]

My heart is breaking for you...I also found my only child, a boy, that I lost to adoption, deceased. I found out in 2003 so I have an idea what you are going through. I would like to communicate with you, to help support you through this devastating loss. When I found my son gone I wanted to desperately to find others who had experienced what I was going through, I knew I couldn't be the only one and it took me awhile to locate others like myself but I did. I started an on-line support group for those who have been separated from a biological family member by adoption, searched and found a grave. I call the group Found and Lost Support but I'm not contacting you just to recruit a new member; I truly believe that no one should go through this type of loss alone. I want you to know that I am here for you. Like I said, it's been almost 4 years since I learned my son was gone and I still have a difficult time. Even the most supportive, loving family and friends don't understand how we can be grieving over someone we never really knew...but I understand. I hope you will contact me, like I said, I understand and although I don't know you I am shedding tears along with you. Your pain is my pain; when I read your post I flashed back to that day I learned about my son. Yes, I also had so many hopes and dreams and finding a grave shatters them in a million pieces. You feel hopeless and I don't blame you for there's no hope in death, it's the ultimate unchangeable reality. Please write, we can help each other. I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss.
My thoughts are with you.
Sincerely,
Denise