[jackielove]

My brother died September 4, 2005, he was only thirty-nine years of age. I was shocked and very grieved, but now I am doing alot better. I had to pray alot and write a letter to him to let him go. It was hard at first but it has gotten better.

He was not my birth sibling, he was my foster brother whom I was brought up with from the time we were infants. I never thought of him as a foster brother, he was the real thing, my big brother.

For those that have lost a loved one, my heart goes out to you. I also want you to know it get's better even if at times it seems as if it isn't.

[sal]

I can relate... my oldest birth brother died in August of 2004... the same year that I lost both of my aparents as well. The hardest thing for me was that although I had only known him for about 3 years... he WAS my brother... but I only received a handful of sympathy cards compared to tons for my parents. I would imagine that most people can't relate to it all if they haven't been in one's shoes. I'm so sorry for your loss... I'm glad that your brother was in your life... sal

[Anetscat66]

Hi-

I am so sorry for the loss of your brothers and family!

My heart and prayers go out to you and thank you for sharing with us!

God Bless...

[CBrook]

I can relate also. Lost my birth mother last year. We were reunited nearly 20 years ago and had a stable but off and on relationship. Hardly any of my adopted family or friends even acknowledged my loss as though she was a separate part of my life even though they appeared to be supportive for all those years. It was painful but the peace I feel having found her was still greater than the pain.

[jackielove]

I can relate. My brother passed away Sept. of last year and I did not know until June of this year.

I was never contacted. I ran across his obituary on the internet.

It was if the the people who knew of his death did not consider him as my brother because we were not blood related. So they didn't tell me.

I was so hurt. I contacted his wife and she told me that she had so much to do that she couldn't get in contact with me. I could understand that to a certain degree, but when she said she had invited two-hundred people to his funeral who were not related to him, I was like... ok.

I don't think that she really understood that I had a bond to my brother despite us not being blood relatives. I sympathize with her, but she had absolutely no sympathy for me.

[wilted rose]

Jackie, may time and what you do with it, bring you comfort.
I lost my (b)Mother a month ago;
there is a bitter silence that is endured, a heart that aches, and tears that slowly drip down my face...
A suffering, that is, as we begun, alone...
Rose

[jackielove]

Thank you Rose,

I am sorry to hear about the lost of your birth mother. I can understand the pain. Gosh, the pain was so real.

When I read about my brother's death I was overwhelmed with pain. I tried to be strong and not think of it. But I couldn't.

I found out that my brother's wife was still hurting over his death, that hurt... It also made me kind of angry with God because my brother was only thirty-nine, married, and had five children that loved him. I could not understand why God would allow him to die.

Anyway, despite me being angry and hurt, I would pray for my sister in law, it seemed the more I prayed for her the more I did not have time to think about myself.

After much praying, crying, being angry, writing a goodbye letter... The pain began to ease.

It has been five month's since I have found out about his death and the pain is no longer as great as it was. I feel peace about him not being here any longer. I know that he is in Heaven.

[jackielove]

One more thing...

Some of the anger I had, was due to me being angry with myself.

The last conversation I had with my brother, he told me he loved me. I could not remember if I told him that I loved him, and if I did, had I said it sincerely.

I knew I loved my brother in my heart and I felt that he knew. I believed that he would be around forever. I never thought he would die so young.

I have learned, not to take love for granted. To let three little one's know that I love them everyday, to kiss them hold them and hug them.

Also for them to love and cherish the relationships that God has given them with each other and myself.

[jackielove]

smile smile smile smile smile smile.. I clicked my post twice. I have deleted the latter one.

[wilted rose]

[quote=jackielove]Thank you Rose,

I am sorry to hear about the lost of your birth mother. I can understand the pain. Gosh, the pain was so real.

When I read about my brother's death I was overwhelmed with pain. I tried to be strong and not think of it. But I couldn't.

I understand what you mean; I've noticed much of my healing has come from riding the emotional wave. Some days are better than others, however there are days I'm am overwhelmed with sadness. On those days I just cry a river, and then I move forward a bit more. Perhaps we're socialized to believe strength comes from white knuckling our way, denying ourselves the grief we've earned, because we have loved so deeply. But the grief is very real whether it is qualified, or acknowledged by those around us, my heart bleeds just like everyone else...
Hugs,
Rose