[krielly]

Some of you have read my story on other posts.

about 1 month ago, my CI located my bdad, only to find out he had passed away in March at 59 years old.

She was able to contact my baunt but that didn't go well AT ALL. My baunt ended up hanging up on her. The situation is sticky, as my dad was 20 and married at the time of my birth (but not to my bmom). I have 5 half siblings from my dad's side who I may never get to meet. My baunt sounds like a real "b".

The next step is requesting a hearing to see if the judge will release my bdad's name to me. I know that he lived in NH and that is right next door to me here in VT. I'd like to at least be able to visit his grave.......I hope to god the judge has some compassion in this case.

A little delayed in posting this. I have been lurking around basically since this happened and not posting much. Some days are good and some days are not so hot..........

Thanks for listening!

[shirleyville]

I certainly feel for you, DearHeart!
I discovered my birthfather (who was also 20 and with another woman when I was born) passed away, as well......at the age of 43.....and like you, am also at the mercy of an aunt who seems to "control" everything. Unfortunately for me, the same aunt also controls things with my maternal birthfamily! As insane as it sounds, my maternal aunt is also my paternal aunt by marriage!! My birthmom's sister is married to my birthfather's brother! She is, by all accounts, an extremely controlling woman, and navagating the shark infested waters, where she is concerned, is a hard current to swim against -- but I don't think she counted on me having the constitution of an Olympic swimmer!
I will keep you in my prayers.....and will also pray that the judge will have an open heart in this case.
Please keep us posted!!
Hugs,
Sally

[nugget]

"K"
I'm just wondering if you know the date that he passed away or the city where he passed? IF the judge does not have compassion you could do a ss index search or an obit. search.
Continue to hang in there and share. I am so sorry for your loss.
You deserve the answers.

[krielly]

Well, I don't know a whole lot. I know the month and year he passed, his age and the state, but beyond that, not a whole lot. I know his 1st name, but don't know if that's a full name or abbreviation.

I already searched the ss death index and came up with nothing. That didn't surprise me though as my CI said that's one of the 1st place she checks and she didn't find him there either. Maybe he hasn't been entered there yet. Trust me, I check back every few days.

I have done some obit searching but that returns thousands and thousands of hits with the limited info I have.

[evildishrag]

thousands and thousands of hits? i thought NH was a small state. let's see what you've got..

• first name ?
• died march 2005
• age 59
• leaving behind 5 children
• and at least one *****y sister
• new hampshire

keep trying.... i will too.

[krielly]

I know the obit said "died at home after a long illness".

I also just found out this morning after taking to my CI that he was predeceased by his father and another brother and sister.

He has 2 surviving sisters.

One thing is for sure........if i ever find it, I'm gonna know it's the right one!!!!!!!!!

maybe I'm just not really great at this searching thing. I try to narrow things down as much as I can, but am not too successful.

Thanks for your help!

[nugget]

It will be found for sure, especially if the judge is not helpful!!
Chin up hun, one of us here will help get you your info!!

[hopeful0712]

Karen,
I'm so sorry for your loss....you are in my prayers. I hope you will find peace....
(((hugs))) and God bless,
Robin

[krielly]

My CI called me this morning to let me know that she obtained a copy of his death certificate. He died of lung cancer (primary cause) and he also had metastatic brain cancer.

So scary............from my bmom's medical history I know that she had cervical cancer at 27 (although she survived hers). Way too much cancer in my family for my comfort.

My CI called the court today to try and speak with the judge to see where we go from here. She had sent him a letter last week, but apparantely he was on vacation. She left a message with the court clerk as he is out today. He's supposed to call her tomorrow.... Hopefully at some point the news will be in my favor......................

[nugget]

Very scary to know that there was cancer on both sides. Even at that though it is good to know and to let your doctors know so you can watch for such signs now. I will hope that the judge will rule in your favor for more infomation.
You continue to hang in there ok??!!
Hugs, I know you're taking in a lot
Wendy