[sandinmyears]

My birthmother's husband is very ill with cancer. He is the father of my half-sister's. My daughter thinks of him like a grandfather and got upset when she found out how ill he is and yet it's sort of weird for me. I'm sort of an outsider looking in at times.

Do any of you feel that way with your birth parents family/ies? Like an outsider looking in?

~Sandy

[hfm123]

Yes! I had a reunion 5 years ago. I was able to meet both my maternal bgrandmother and bgrandfather before they died. When I went to their funerals I didn’t know what to do and say because everyone had to explain who I was. It was weird.

I also didn’t know what to call everyone (do I call them my grandparents?)—I still don’t know. It felt even stranger when they left me something in their will. Part of me feels like an outsider, but part me doesn’t -- and then another part of me doesn’t want to think about and just experience life. Does that make sense?

[sandinmyears]

Ya. It does.

[bridges]

YES. Everytime my b family has a birth, marriage or death.

I have known my b mom for over half my life now. I am now 49 and met her 25+ years ago. My oldest b sister and I have become very close. After 10 years, my oldest b sister invited me to her wedding. She was very open as to who I was, but our mom introduced me as her "good friend."

My oldest b brother died 4/15/04. My b mom called and invited me to join the family for the funeral, etc. My other four b siblings had no trouble including me. My b mom, however, refused to include me in the obit.

I find it easy to refer to my siblings as such. I don't know what to even call my b mom. "Mom" seems to be insult to my a mom, who really was mom in every way. (She died in 1991). And it seems obvious to me that she would not want me to call her that in public.

I guess I will always be on the outside looking in unless they choose to let me in.

Carolyn Kay

[Jackiejdajda]

bridges wrote..My b mom, however, refused to include me in the obit.

My first thought when reading what you wrote was she does not want to explain.. She has not dealt with what happened..

She must be seventy. I am so sorry this is happening..


Jackie