[Laura Palmer]

Here I am. For those of you who do not know my story, I am an adoptee who found my birth uncle in England in Aug. 2002. He stated that my birthmom was still in the US & he tried to persuade her to contact me, being they were very close. But in Jan. 2003, he stated that she did not with contact! I felt bad. He stated she was ill around X-mas time, but I didn't believe it, I guess I didn't want to believe it. Any way my mom-in-law had sent him a letter about a month ago (for some more information), being that I was depressed over her not wishing contact. He never replied as of yet! So I decided to investigate her myself with the help of an investigating company in FL. They emailed me yesterday with some crazy addresses, so I called them last night. The investigator told me he did in fact have one other in NJ but she is deceased. He gave me the information. My b-uncle also told me that her husband died recently when I first contacted him in Aug. The investigator told me the same thing!!! That her husband passed away recently also. I'm shaking right know. I know I have some more checking out to do. But if this is infact true, she was living in the same county in NJ, I was born in, in 1968! I have her address, her neighbors names, her SS# & the date that she died--Jan3, 2003. I just had to get this out this morning, thank you for reading this. Sus

[ketingle]

ohhhh. That is a hard one! I don't really know what to say except to send you lots of hugs. I can't even imagine how you are feeling. It sounds like your uncle was trying to spare you some of this. Take good care of yourself!

[bajohnson]

Sue,
Hi hon, I'm so sorry you are in this place right now. Take a deep breath and don't freak out until you find out for sure that it is in fact her that has passed away. What is your next step? How are you feeling? Please jump on and let us know. My prayers are with you, and I'll wait to hear from you.
Hugs, really tight ones,
Beth

[niece]

Dear laura;
I know that my words can't ease the pain that you are consumed with all I can say is that you will be in my prayers.
Best wishes~Janiece (niece)

[shirleyville]

WOW, Sus.....that's a hard one!! (((more warm hugs)))
You know I've followed your story, since we both got "denied" in January........you said if this woman is, indeed, your birthmom -- she died on January 3rd of this year?? Wasn't the last contact with your uncle after that??? Wouldn't he have said that she passed away??? How horrible to think he wouldn't even share that with you!!!!!!!!!
Please keep us posted, and keep sharing! It's how we all get thru things like this --- TOGETHER!
Many hugs,
Sally

[debsdone]

Sus,

I a SO sorry! You are in my thoughts....Love, Debi

[crayons]

{{{{HUGS}}} Sue, I hope and pray this is not true. I'm so sorry that you received information like this, I will be thinking about you. I will be saying prayers for you. Best wishes..Hugs
brandy
please keep posting, on how you are doing.

[trunks888]

Thats so sad,
I will keep you in my prayers.
And if you need to talk just drop me a line.
Take care and may God bless you

[Laura Palmer]

And thanks for the hugs & replies. I know the address of where she lived, if indeed this was her. I have contacted a relative of a landlord at this address, I was waiting for her(the landlord herself) to contact me. That is why I haven't been on to answer. I have other ways of finding out if this was her also, so when I found out for sure, I will definately keep you posted. On the flip side of all this, the relative of the landlord stated that she think that my birthmom (if it is) had other children, she thought so anyway. So when I find anything out, I will definately write!!!! Thanks for all of your support, I really needed it! Sue

[Laura Palmer]

I'm still not getting my email notifications!!! To Sally----Yes my uncle wrote his final letter Jan 25, 2003 stating that my b-mom was no longer in the US & did not wish contact. He also apoligized for it not working out the way we both (sort of expected). But he also closed that chapter of his life & didn't want me to contact him further. So my mom-in-law wrote to him, but he did not respond!!! Thanks for asking!!

To Marieh----I emailed you!!!!

To Beth---I emailed you too!!!!

Take care & thank you all for responding!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sue

[smorey]

How are things going now? I am in a similar situation. I just received information from someone who was helping me find my bmom, that my bmom passed away earlier this year. She had been back in Colorado for a short time before her passing. Her family, at least some of them, has lived in Colorado about 80 miles from where I live for a very long time. I was always afraid of meeting her for fear of rejection, now I will never know. The person that was assisting me suggested that I establish contact with her cousin, who gave him the information, but not to be surprised if she doesn't know who I am. I don't even know what to say to her. Help!! I think what saddens me the most is knowing that the woman who had the answers I was searching for can not give the answers to me. I really want to know who my bfather is, but now I don't know how to find out the information. I feel like I have an even bigger whole than I had before.

[NikkiLGA]

I am saddened by your post, and wait to hear whether or not the lady at the address in NJ was indeed your b-mom. I am with Shirleyville when she said "wasn't you last contact with your uncle after Jan. 3, and wouldn't he have mentioned her death if it were so?" So..maybe, just maybe the lady in Jersey isn't your b-mom.

I was reunited with members of my b-mom, Liz's family, last August. I never knew she had died, so I can just share with you how I felt. For me, it was like finding her, and losing her all in the same day, but I must say I do thank God for my grandparents, aunts and uncle, who through their love have helped me. If you want to, you can read my story. It was featured in the June 17, 2003 issue of the emag at adoption.com entitled "He Did This for Us."

You are in my prayers.

Love - NikkiLGA

[Perky1]

Well I was touched when I read your post. I found my bmom deceased about 8 years ago .. Shes the only woman who would have had any answers for me ....and Like you my bfather isn't named on any of my papers.
I got a private investigator and got them to help me out in finding my Aunt. I talked to her last Thursday to find out that her Daughter ( my bio cousin) is living only one hour from me ...My Aunt lives in Newfoundland and I'm in Toronto .....
But anyways dont give up hope and keep on searching . There may be some family members out there that can lead you to some answers of your blood line.

The toughest thing and adoptee can threw is find out there birth mom is dead ....I know I morned for her because I wanted to know her but now I have reason to try to find more family and get answers from them ....

Good luck .
Perky