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  #1  
Old 06-17-2004, 07:57 PM
nturner nturner is offline
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senior girls at Garrison House 1978

I was at Gladney from 11-77 through 4-20-78 - looking for other girls who were seniors at Gladney.
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  #2  
Old 10-03-2004, 09:00 PM
leslieinman leslieinman is offline
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I am looking for my mother of birth family. I know that everybody had to use ficticios names. My mother had blonde hair and green eyes. She was into music and I believe she had a album out then. Her father was into music also, I believe that he taught music lessons. I know that my mother had to have her nodules taken out I do not know for what reason. She was heavy set and I know that my father did not have any thing to do with any part of me or the birth. Which if somebody in my birth family were to read this, I just want to let them know that I don't have any regrets. I had a wonderful life and I just want to have a chance to meet my birth family, see if I have any sisters or brothers. I am going into this very happy, not looking to cause any problems I just feel like I have a part of me missing. I am sure that everybody on this sight feels the same way. I know that my birth parents might have new familys and maybe they don't know about this, that is ok I am not looking to mess anything up. If anybody knows anything that could help me out in my search that would be great. I was born at Duncan Memorial on March 13, 1978, and I was around 8lbs I believe. I have heard really bad roomers about gladney and I know that there could have been a situation where she could not have changed her mind at the end or she would have gotten sued. That roomer could all be wrong. I just want to find my birth family. I know this is alot for someone that you don't know to write to you about, but you were there at the same time she was, so if you could remember any little detail that would help me that would be great. Leslie Inman 281-893-2045 or
leslieinman@lycos.com I would greatly appreciate it if you could take the time to read this. Thanks again
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  #3  
Old 11-26-2004, 03:03 PM
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srchin' srchin' is offline
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just a quick question

nturner,

Your a birth mom, right. I'm wondering why there aren't that many senior b-moms that search around the 70's and early 80's. I was born in 79 and have talked to other adoptees who have no real luck in this time period from the older moms especially. I was just wondering why and thought maybe you could shed some light on the subject.

thanks,
srchin'
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  #4  
Old 11-26-2004, 04:50 PM
nturner nturner is offline
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There are lots of reasons why a bmom might not search. Many of us never told our subsequent children and the decision to not tell becomes an issue later in life. I have been reunited with my daughter but, the way things happened was totally a "God-thing". I have 3 other children and they never knew. Their father who I am divorced from told them a few years ago (accidentally????). They were devastated and my son was most angry. So, many of us were shipped off and it was a big secret - not at all like it is today. This was before MTV and sexuality - no one talked about sex and I brought shame to my family for getting pregnant. I have since moved away from my small town and have been very successful professionally and no one knew - of course once my teenage kids knew - they had to tell their best friend so.....

Another reason is because the pain of "placing your child" for adoption is soooo incredibly painful - to ever revisit that pain again is simply just too much. Once I found my daughter - I never realized the pain but I have cried more since I found her - tears of joy but also tears of incredible grief. For me - not being able to take care of my daughter and being separated from her has caused me more pain in my life than anything else. She is my flesh and blood and I have felt that I had no other options and my heart has always had this huge hole in it that nothing could fill. - To take the risk of searching and not finding may be too much for many women. I know once I started I became obsessed and found her within 10 days - I can't imagine searching and not being able to find her. I don't know if my heart could have taken it.

Pray about finding your bmom - it may not be a good time in her life or yours - who knows??? I will pray for you and her - the love a mother has for her child is unbelieveable. I don't know my daughter well - but I can honestly say I love her and the bond I feel with her matches my other children that I have raised. It is so weird to know that I have met her, spoken with her - and don't really know her but love her immensely.

take care,
nancy
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  #5  
Old 11-27-2004, 05:20 AM
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You right that all makes sense. I don't feel that I am ready for a reunion myself. I am an extremely hard headed person who shunes away from most all emotions. I fear I get this from my mom. People have a way of putting up defenses around subjects, etc, that may be harmful or hurtful. I am a fighter but I am not a glutton for punishment. The whole adoption thing is one big emotional rollercoaster ride. I, so far, have preffered to stand on the outskirts instead of jumpping in head first. My younger brother has taken the plunge like there was nothing to it. Maybe it's a difference between guys and girls or maybe just personality, but I definatly can't see anyone avoiding some feeling that they probably didn't realize they had all stored up inside. Those are the feelings I'm afraid of......the rejection or the endless questions why(I believe this to be a human inevitability), who, what, when, where and how could you do it. For the most part I think most adoptees had a good life (considering it's still life and things are going to happen no matter what) and most of these questions are pointless but they will come up. I have found myself questioning in my own mind and I wouldn't want to ask that. I think it should be volentary info when she's ready and if she's comforitable.

I'm just happy to be alive, but the one thing I do hate is that I am considered a secret!!! I know it was a different time and age and I understand that but my curosity runs wild simply because I'm some dark dirty secret hidden in the closest. I don't know......maybe like you I'm becoming obsessest with it.

Thanks for your response! You've given some things to think about. One more question. Do you think the majority of b-mom's want to be found?? Or if no one's looking for you just let sleeping dogs lie??

srchin'
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  #6  
Old 11-27-2004, 08:01 AM
nturner nturner is offline
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I always dreamed of my daughter finding me - I cannot speak for all bmom's but....it is very much a catch 22 - you hurt without them and you face painful emotions finding them - I know the timing was very important for me and her. My life is very good today and I know she was pleased with who she found. My youngest child was 16 which made it easier because she is older. I tried to locate her father and was unable to but I did find out his life wasn't very good at all. She didn't want to pursue finding him since his life wasn't good. When you are searching you have no idea what you will find. Drug or alcohol addiction/in jail/poverty stricken/abused. My 16year old at the time said "mom she is going to be so proud because you aren't a "crack whore". Once I started searching I couldn't stop and I was very aware of all of these things. I had a very strong support system and was seeing a therapist and relied heavily on this forum to get through the emotions. If this had happened a year earlier - our reunion wouldn't have gone so well. Someone told me the average age of searching is 26 - she is 26. However, I found her but she had filled out the paperwork with Gladney when I found her.

my daughter wanted to know the circumstances around her adoption whic I told her - she said one of the most touching things was when I told her that I held her. It was awesome being able to tell her about the day she was born. I love her soooo much - she was not a shameful dirty secret - I was ashamed of everyone knowing I had sex - not her. I could never be ashamed of her. Lots of girls were having sex - most didn't get caught or had abortions. The sex thing what was so embarrasing. Telling your children that you got pregnant (had sex) at 17 is not what any mother wants to tell her 13 and 14 year old children. As a mother I wanted my children to be older before they knew I had sex before marriage. I have tried to raise them with moral values and when Mom can't say she was a virgin - how do you think her children see morality?

I hope this is helpful - pray about this - get lots of support and take it easy - there is no rush.

nancy
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  #7  
Old 11-28-2004, 05:36 AM
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Your right....it's all timing and I see where your coming from. Thanks so much for the insight. I will take your advice and just pray about it. It's gonna happen in his time anyway. What's meant to be will be!!!! Thanks again.

srchin'
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  #8  
Old 09-20-2012, 07:55 AM
cay1960 cay1960 is offline
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I was in Garrison House late 1977 to mid 1978 I remember a blonde girl named Connie but I don't remember anything about singing...
We had another blonde named Paige. I don't remember any of the last names but they were all fake anyway.
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  #9  
Old 09-20-2012, 06:39 PM
nturner nturner is offline
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Hi Cay....I am in touch with Connie and I too remember Paige...she was from Longview, Texas. Where are you from? nancy
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  #10  
Old 09-21-2012, 05:10 AM
cay1960 cay1960 is offline
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Cindy, from Kansas had a boy in April but came back to finish school. Didn't leave till June 1st.
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  #11  
Old 09-28-2012, 10:26 AM
c11frances c11frances is offline
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Hi, it's Connie, are you Psyndi?
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  #12  
Old 09-29-2012, 08:36 AM
cay1960 cay1960 is offline
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Hi Connie!
Yes, it's Psyndi...I actually haven't used that spelling in years. lol How are you??
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