[wanttobeparents]

longgreengrass:
There lies the difference. You are really pregnant and really looking for the best choice for your child. You have no problem with giving correct information to a professional. I wish you the best and hope that you come to a decision that gives you peace. There are many resources on this forum to help you. Read everything you can and make the decision that is right for you and your child.

The women I dealt with were not looking to place a child. They were looking to either get money for a non-existent pregnancy or to play with adoptive parent hopeful's heads. I feel sorry for someone that would give adoption a bad name on purpose.

Peggy

[wanttobeparents]

Linny,

Thanks for the words of support.

We hired someone to advertise for us and take the initial calls from expecting mothers. She would weed out the obvious scams and situations that were not matches, then give us the information about what seems to be legitimate contacts. She did not get a proof of pregnancy, but asked them to send that to our lawyer. Our contract with her runs out at the end of the month, so we have to decide to renew for another 6 months, try advertising on our own and taking the calls, giving up, or going with the agency that placed our son with us. We were not taken completely to the cleaners, but we did have attorney fees, social worker fees, phone and Fed Ex bills, and unused non-refundable plane tickets. All money that goes for medical and support goes through an attorney so that all state laws are adhered to. Since we never got a proof of pregnancy, the lawyers never sent any support funds.

Our "nerves of steel" are gone, so we plan to sign back up with the agency unless we get "the call" in the next few days. With the agency, we would not hear about a situation unless the birthmother wanted to work with us. In my son's case, he was already born, so there was not much of a wait between the time we found out about him and the time we brought him home. In the meantime, we still let people know we are trying to adopt in case a friend of a friend knows someone thinking about placing. We hope for an open adoption, or as open as the birthmom wants it to be. Since our state laws have recently changed, we can have an open adoption through an agency, something we couldn't do at the time our son was born.

Peggy

[longgreengrass]

I dont know why some people lie in the adoption world. its beyond me.

[FamilyBound]

We just submitted our bmom letter to our agency and they are reviewing it. After that, I just have to put our profile pictures together, and then the waiting begins

[longgreengrass]

i hope your wait is not long

[FamilyBound]

Originally posted by longgreengrass
i hope your wait is not long

Thanks! Fortunately, my son is making it easier to wait and I know that when the 'right match' appears, it will be "what is meant to be."

Now ask me in six months if we are still waiting and my response may be different

[longgreengrass]

you never know. you could be matched two days from now. keep the faith

[FamilyBound]

Originally posted by longgreengrass
you never know. you could be matched two days from now. keep the faith

Yikes! Better get Ethan's room finished

Thanks for your support -- it's nice to meet you!

[longgreengrass]

in the adoption world one never knows what can happen