[amomof3]

I have friends who are starting the adoption process. They just had the first part of their homestudy done. The social worker said she has "reservations" about their adopting because of the wife's bi-polar dignosis a few years ago. Apparently this diagnosis was very much a part of the wife's infertility emotional trauma and drug treatments (she was even hospitalized for depression). Since ending the infertility drugs and coming to terms with her infertility, the wife is now void of any mental conditions (as documented by two different doctors).

The social worker will be approving this couple's homestudy, however with a "reservation" attached to it because of the wife's bi-polar history. I never heard of this before. Either you are approved to be fit parents, or you aren't. With this reservation, it sounds like the SW is saying "maybe."

My question is this... has anyone had a similar homestudy prepared and approved that has a "reservation" attached to it? I am curious as to what the ramifications of this reservation will have on this couple's chances of adopting. What happens if they take custody of a child, and several months later appear before a judge for the finalization, and the judge has his/her own reservations about the homestudy reservation?!?!

I hope someone can shed some light on this. Thanks!
Mary Lisa

[ajjhmf]

My husband and I are in a similar boat with our adoption right now. It's a hard place for your friends to be and I certainlly sympathize with them.

Question, has your friend done a psychiatric evaluation? I have a history of major depression and since some of my counseling records are missing, the agency recommended I get one done. I go this coming Tuesday. The doctor we picked has worked with the agency before doing evals for birthparents and the like. Our SW doesn't have any reservations, and is just trying to create a complete and solid view of my depression.

Another question, how well educated is your friend's SW on mental health issues? Because despite all the seeming acceptance of depression these days, people can still be very ignorant when it comes to a more serious forms than the 6-month blues type. We're lucky, our SW has depression herself and actually sees it as more of a strength than a weakness. My husband and I have a good understanding of depression and related problems that will probably affect our children since we're adopting older children out of the foster care system. Understanding the rigors of medication and the need for counseling and structure is something that our SW is writing up as a strength instead of a weakness. If your friend is being treated unfairly, she can always speak to a supervisor and possibly have her study reviewed by another worker.

As we're going through this ourselves, I know how hard it is on your friend. It's wonderful that your being so supportive. If you or your friend would like some more information, please PM me and I'll get you my e-mail address.

Blessings,
Jenny