[live2bhappy2003]

WE ALL KNOW there are no guarantees in life and that same philosophy should apply when going through the adoption process. But as with other things we do in life, if we do them smartly we can, at least in some way, preclude the risks from happening, or at least from happening in the worst way possible. Here are some smart tips when adopting a child.

HIRING A FACILITATOR
A FACILITATOR IS someone who connects a birth parent with a prospective adoptive family for a fee. This profession is fairly new and there have only been facilitators in the adoption circle for the last year or so. There may eventually be required licensing, but at this time there is not.
in the adoption process other than connect birth mothers with adoptive parents. People need to recognize that adoption is a legal procedure and the ultimate process involves the courts and the law. An adoption needs to be finalized by the courts and before that happens families need to go through home studies and other procedures that an adoption facilitator can not complete. For the few facilitators that are legitimate, they should be able to help connect adoptive parents with either with an agency or attorney to complete the adoption. For those that aren’t legitimate, like in a recent Internet adoption story, things can go horribly wrong. An attorney can keep the process honorable and straight.
If a facilitator is your only resource or if you have already begun the process with one and paid the money, the following are things you absolutely need to know to help prevent a bad situation:
Ask them about their experience such as how long have they been doing it, check their reputation with other professional such as agencies and attorneys.
Make sure they can connect you with the proper legal professionals to complete the adoption — the adopting parents will need a qualified attorney or agency to process the adoptions, what services does the facilitator offer which a qualified attorney or agency cannot?
Check that they themselves are legal in the state in which you will be adopting, and check that their ads are placed within the conformity of the law.
Check their success rates — how many babies have been placed for adoption with this facilitator before, what is the average time frame, how many adopting parents have been unsuccessful.?
What is the average amount of expenses for birth parents?
In what month of pregnancy do they typically begin?
What are the anticipated expenses to complete an adoption including all professions and birth parent expenses?
If the fees are more than several hundred dollars, are the facilitators’ fees reasonable in light of the services they offer and their training to perform those services?

IMPORTANT STEPS FOR ADOPTION
Educate yourself
Read books like Adopting in America, by Randall Hicks, or the Idiots Guide to Adoption.
Talk to friends and network.
Seek adoption groups like Resolve and go to adoption seminars put on by reputable professionals.
Talk to those who have adopted.
Know what you want in your adoption
What ethnicity and age child are you seeking?
Can you accept a child who was drug exposed in uterus?
Where there is legal risk because parental rights have not yet been fully terminated?
Are you comfortable meeting the birth parents?
Having an extended relationship via letter or visits?
What is your budget?
Contact an attorney
Contact a knowledgeable adoption attorney, to learn if your state has any particular limitations or prohibitions such as paying a facilitator, and to learn what services the attorneys can provide for you.
Contact local adoption agencies
See what services they offer and what recommendations they may have for aiding you in your adoption.
Know the functions of all professionals
Make sure you understand the differing functions of the professionals so as to invest your money wisely.
Match your personality with those of the professionals you hire.
Use a licensed professional to screen birth parent leads for legal risks, financial exposure and to evaluate authenticity. They will assist you in processing the adoption and attaining the necessary terminations of parental rights and handle all interstate issues as needed.
Do not send money to birth parents
Do not send money to prospective birthparents without consulting with an attorney or agency.
Sometimes sending money directly will invalidate a proposed adoption and, in some states, may be considered a felony.
Use common sense and follow your intuition.
Be patient — this can be a long process
Remember that adoption is a cataclysmic event for both adopting parents and birth parents. Placing a child is often the hardest decision in a birth parent’s life. For adopting parents, adoption calls for willingness to proceed without knowing the outcome as to whether the adoption will be successful. For both parties, it’s an act of faith and love and nothing about the process is often quick, but you have to say to yourself it will happen.
Finding the right attorney
The adoption network is quite active and you may notice that some attorney names crop up with frequency. Since the majority of work is done in writing and by telephone, fax and email, you will probably only need to meet once in person with the attorney. Thus, you need not feel limited to attorneys in your own immediate area.

INTERNATIONAL ADOPTIONS
The process for adopting children overseas is very different than in the United States. Some countries information can be sketchy and their background information on birth mothers can be sketchy. There are basically more unknowns and political systems in many countries can change laws quickly so make sure you work with a knowledgeable agency when adopting internationally. You have to deal with the state department for international adoption since the child is being adopted into a different country so you will need and INS home study and basically you absolutely need to deal with an agency and attorney familiar with all the details of an international adoption.

ADOPTING OUT OF STATE
Adopting out of state could be an option for certain families. It is not illegal but remember when it comes down to it you have to go through the courts and legal system to adopt so you have to make sure that it is permissible. Some states will not allow you to use their system unless you are a resident in that state.
This isn’t a quick and easy process for anybody, no matter who you are. It’s going to take some time and requires a little work. Some adoptive parents are very vulnerable to begin with and have ostensibly already gone through a great deal getting to this position in the first place, perhaps having undergone extensive fertility procedures. So when this is something a couple wants complete control over or something they want to happen immediately, they have to realize, unfortunately it is not a quick and painless process. Birth mothers can change their minds and things can go wrong. However, working with the right people and going about it in the right way can preclude some of the worst things that could happen, from happening. Couples who are looking to adopt children can prevent mistakes by not cutting corners.

This information came from www.theadoptionguide.com